Downton Abbey: Season 5, Episode 9
March 1, 2015 11:21 PM - Season 5, Episode 9 - Subscribe

There's a hunting party and a Christmas party. There's spats at the table yet again. There's broken engagements and a surprise engagement. There's departures and arrivals. Happy Christmas to all!

Number of servant feuds going on: 2:
(a) The Downtonites attend a shooting party that the Sinderbys are throwing at some other lord's house. They're stuck dealing with the lord's butler, Stowell, who manages to outsnob every other cast member that has ever been on the show. Naturally, Mary is irritated at him snubbing Tom and is all "can't Barrow do something?" Sure, he can forge a note saying Lord Sinderby can't have a decent dinner, causing Lord S to throw a shit fit at Stowell at the table and for Stowell to call Thomas names at the table. Even though Stowell later apologizes for it, you know Thomas don't take that shit lying down. After having a friendly chat with Lord S, next thing you know someone's sent a telegram inviting a certain lady to come with her son to the house.... So yeah, we're using Thomas's powers of evil for good. Sorta. Again. Well, not quite so good this time, if you're that poor lady.

(b) Spratt and Denker are at it all episode, with Denker being forced to cook broth for her ladyship. Denker attempts to take cooking lessons and stinks at it, and Daisy's "let's sneak some broth over to the house" ploy is utterly foiled by Spratt. In the end, Violet drinks the broth and claims it to be delicious--also, Spratt, stop it.

Number of men living in glass houses who shouldn't throw stones: 1--Lord Sinderby. He'll finally relent on that divorce snobbery thing because...

Number of men with illegitimate kids showing up at a party: 1--that's Lord S again! Luckily for him Rose, Mary, and Robert rush up to claim his former(?) mistress as a friend, leaving poor Rachel Sinderby in the dark as to what really happened and why the kid's name after her husband. Anyway, Lord S realizes how awesome Rose is after that and is grateful.

Number of AWOL staff this episode: 2: Anna starts out in jail, where we find out that she fended off a stepfather sneaking into her bed with a knife, so OF COURSE she's guilty. In order to get her free, Bates signs a confession and then books it for Ireland, leaving Robert with his contact information just in case.

Number of pubs visited by Moseley and Baxter with Bates's photo to see if anyone remembers him: 40? Well, there were 60-70 on the list and they had a third left to go before they found a guy who remembered Bates's limp (and getting annoyed with being asked if he needed help about it) and chatted with him about the war. Because Bates is distinctive, you know. Anyway, the Bateses are reunited for now....but the whodunit will drag on forever.

Number of new staff members at Downton: 1--Andy from London is hired again at Thomas's urgings.

Number of cast/family members leaving England entirely: 4--after many fond farewells at the Christmas party, Tom and Sybbie leave for Boston and Rose and Atticus move to New York for a job. (And I'm assuming Rose is moving on to movie stardom as Cinderella.) Make the number a 6 if we count the Kuragins moving on to Paris.

Number of new suitors for Mary yet again: 1: This time it's a Mr. Talbot, previously known as Finn on The Good Wife, who shows up unexpectedly for a shooting party. Mary seems to find that rude and indicates as such, but later she may like him. Or not. Who the hell knows with these people any more. I concur that that actor is hot and has a nice car, but...I wouldn't get my hopes up with Mary.

Number of proposals, illicit and otherwise, towards women of a certain age this season: 3, and don't think they don't all enjoy it, because even if they say no, they DO.

Number of lost wives found: 1--Princess Kuragin is rescued and the woman is just wishing for death. As is the prince now, one assumes quite reasonably. Isobel wonders throughout the episode why Isobel fought so hard to get a woman she hates back home and Isobel eventually explains that the Princess bodily yanked her away from Kuragin as they were about to elope together. The woman saved her from ruin and from losing her children, so she owes her one. Poor Kuragin.

Number of broken engagements: 1 --Isobel and Merton are officially dunzo after he's completely and utterly unable to convince his asshat sons to not be asshats. Sigh. Oh well, at least the doctor will be happy.

Number of surprise engagements! 1!!! After Mrs. Hughes backs out on Carson's house buying scheme--she's spent her entire money on a "not right in the head" sister and can't invest or retire anyway-- he puts her name on the house and proposes marriage!!!! EVERYBODY SQUEE!!! And Mrs. Hughes does NOT stall on saying yes, for a change!

In other news: it's Atticus's first Christmas, Daisy has given up studying because what's the point (AND I DON'T CARE), Robert got an ulcer and had to give up liquor until Christmas Eve and got delightedly bombed at the first chance he could, Robert and Tom confess to Edith that they figured out who her baby is and will keep it quiet (and it's all sweet), and Tom/Mary/Edith band together to pray to Sybil.

I attempted to write down the good quotes, but I probably didn't get them all right. I will try.

"Never complain, never explain."
"You usally never have trouble complaining."--Violet and Isobel

"Not what I'd call a recipe for a peaceful week's shooting."

"Oh dear, we're having another crisis, aren't we?" --Mrs. Patmore making fun of Daisy.

Edith worries about the kids and Mary bitches why don't you just lock them up in a box until they're 21? Look, I'm the mother here and I'm not worried....Mary's still not in on the secret and she'll probably never notice because it's Edith, after all. (Also, only Edith seems to care about missing her kid most of the time.)

After being told by Stowell that the real family here usually has tea in the antelibrary (the what?!?), Mrs. Sinderby is all "How interesting, Mr. Stowell, but we will have it in the library." She's still the best.

"Shall we use Christian names?"
"My name is not a Christian name."
"Oh, you know what I mean!" --Rose and her father-in-law.

"The presence of strangers is the only guarantee of good behavior." This explains why there's a double date arranged to meet the princess, all right. Not that that helped.

"I'm not a complete amateur, Miss Baxter, do give me some credit." --Thomas, who later manages to pass Lord S's forgery test. For a minute there I wondered if he just wrote with the wrong hand until I remembered he's a righty and shot himself in the left yonks ago and still signed with his right in the scene.

"I'm not very keen on your butler, so I rather enjoyed it." --Mary at dinner.

"I'm sure you need my forgiveness as much as you need mine." --Robert to Edith after saying he figured it out. He's very nice about it.

"We can't all be as unselfish as you, Mary. Just kidding!" --Tom

"Are you pining for some unfulfilled dream?"
"Not today. Today I feel very happy." -The estate manager guy and Edith--not sure if that's a possible suitor there.

"The sentiment of the greeting is not reflected in the text."--Larry's still a douche.

"Stowell looks like he's in a cage with a tiger."

"Thank heaven we both have a criminal turn of mind." --Robert to Cora.

"Have I interrupted a lover's tryst?"
"Thank you for injecting a bit of humor into this moment of misery." --Violet and Merton as Violet walks in during the breakup.

"Now what should Marigold call me?"
"Donk."
"Why not, everyone else does."

"You detest her and yet I've never seen you fight for someone with more passion." --Isobel to Violet on the princess.

"Robert's about to give a speech and it's not a good idea!" --Cora

And the lines from Carson's proposal!
"I hate to change a plan when there's no need."
"I do want to be stuck with you."
"I'm not convinced I can be hearing this out."
"You could knock me down with a feather!"
"We're celebrating the fact that I can still get a proposal at my age."
"Of course I'll marry you, you old booby. I thought you'd never ask."

It's been a pleasure chatting with y'all about this show. See you next year!
posted by jenfullmoon (24 comments total) 7 users marked this as a favorite
 
Thanks for great write-ups, jenfullmoon! This has been fun. I can't believe we have to wait a whole year!

That train was some kind of first class, wasn't it? I know there were plenty of things wrong with the aristocrat/peasant/whatever system but dang, traveling like that would have been so fabulous.

I swear I'm as tired of Mary's snottiness as I am the Anna and Bates' troubles. Ugh. I'm sorry she doesn't have some pressing need to move to America. Sad Edith is sad but at least she isn't so bitchy. And Tom is really good for that household. Maybe it's just the way Michelle Dockery is playing the character I just don't see the sway she holds over men. She just comes across a snooty cold fish and infinitely pleased with herself.

Mrs Patmore is my new hero. "If that thought is too democratically overpowering you can share what I made for the kitchen maids."

And poor Violet, it seems like she was really thinking of running off with the Prince - or was at least liking the idea of it. She looked so downcast. "I will never again to receive an immoral proposition from a man. Was I wrong to savor it?"

It was nice to see Rose and Atticus come out on top. They seem like the only genuinely nice and drama-free people on the show.

I'm not sure I quite buy Mrs Hughes being so in love with Carson but he was quite charming with the tearing up at the end there.

And no lab puppy for Robert for Christmas?? Damn you, Julian Fellowes! God damn you to hell!
posted by Beti at 12:20 AM on March 2, 2015


It seems like the upstairs cast has just been slashed; Tom's gone, Rose and Atticus are gone, and Sybil and Matthew have been dead for a while. They'll need to get some more people to have a sufficient number of upstairs plots, right?

I am also pissed that we still don't know who killed Mr. Green (in the square with the bus). This show being the ludicrous and delightful soap opera that it is, I'm also in a position where if it's someone already on the show I'll roll my eyes and if it's some stranger it will feel like deus ex machina nonsense so I'm not really sure how they're going to resolve that. Either way they damn well better sort it out quickly next season. Golly.

I found the part where Baxter and Molesley were explaining that they found the pub keeper so beautiful and moving. They have both had some very down, hard, bad times and I'm so glad they got that moment. I bet Cora's gladder than ever that she kept Baxter on and that her faith has been justified. I love them together and I hope they are very, very happy. I also suspect that this will help the Bateses get over their anger at Baxter because, like, wow, she and Molesley went above and beyond. It was lovely.

Still sad that Isis died, sad that there was no new puppy, but very glad that because they were all going shooting there were still lots of doggies in this episode.
posted by Mrs. Pterodactyl at 6:36 AM on March 2, 2015 [2 favorites]


~ I concur that that actor is hot and has a nice car, but...I wouldn't get my hopes up with Mary.

I dunno...Mary seemed to act positively..."anxious"...when she saw Mr. Talbot drive away in his car. Hot men and hot cars seems to hit the right buttons with Mary.

This episode had the feeling of a series finale, and not just a season finale, though I know it will be back next year. No cliffhangers at all. It seemed like happy-ish endings all-around, more or less.
posted by Thorzdad at 7:29 AM on March 2, 2015 [1 favorite]


It's a Christmas special -- the sense I get is that traditionally your options are either a) happy endings all around b) somebody dies.
posted by Mrs. Pterodactyl at 7:31 AM on March 2, 2015 [2 favorites]


It seems like the upstairs cast has just been slashed; Tom's gone, Rose and Atticus are gone, and Sybil and Matthew have been dead for a while. They'll need to get some more people to have a sufficient number of upstairs plots, right?

It feels like they could get Rose back a bit next year, even if she's not around the whole time. Plus Mary has her obvious next suitor in Finn from the Good Wife. Through in another man (Mary must have two suitors,obviously), some Edith drama, and Robert and Cora have a fight about something, and that's most of this years upstairs plots, honestly. That said, they'll probably unearth another cousin who will hang around for a couple years and then get married off.

Alternatively, Julian Fellowes could just use my idea where the upstairs plots are just Mary pushing Edith down a flight of stairs every week while wearing a very large hat. I would tune in without fail, I swear.

I'm actually 100% fine with never knowing who killed Mr. Green, if we could just never speak of it ever again. Act like it never happened, stop having Anna be sexually assaulted (in the present or the past), and just move on with things.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 7:50 AM on March 2, 2015 [10 favorites]


I have an idea as to how to resolve the whodunit. Edith could have a new suitor who turns out to be the valet's murderer, because he has some sort of deep dark secret and the valet knew and was blackmailing him for it and because it would be kind of funny for Edith to go on being ever more spectacularly luckless.

Mary's going to feel so incredibly stupid when she figures out that Edith is Marigold's mother. And it'll be good for her. That is one self-absorbed woman. Remember back in the first season when she asks some clueless question about politics, Edith fills her in and ads, "Don't you read the papers?" and Mary says, snottily, "Some of us have lives." Newsflash, Mary: Not having a clue about what's going on with anyone around you because you only think about yourself is the very definition of not having a full life.

Rose is really so lovable. She may not be a complex person but she's intelligent and has a naturally happy, honest, empathetic nature. She reminds me of what was written of May Welland Archer in The Age of Innocence: "The lines of her character, though so few, were as noble as those of her face."
posted by orange swan at 8:26 AM on March 2, 2015 [3 favorites]


The proposal was so wonderful!! I was almost crying along with Carson!! Loved it and love that couple!! Very disappointed that there wasn't a new puppy. Major Xmas oversight!
posted by pearlybob at 8:31 AM on March 2, 2015 [1 favorite]


I was almost crying along with Carson!!

Oh I was definitely crying. Very lovely.
posted by Mrs. Pterodactyl at 8:33 AM on March 2, 2015 [1 favorite]


The Vulture commentary on the proposal is priceless.

I would bet that Robert has a new dog by next season so they don't have to deal with the age of the dog looking funny in between seasons. And that we don't get to see a Carson/Hughes downstairs wedding, except maybe in a registry office for five seconds.

Yeah, upstairs is down to four adults and two kids and it may very well boil down to Mary and Edith fighting. Either they ask Shrimpie or the American relatives(!) to move in, or they come up with some more distant cousins that didn't die on the Titanic, or they better start marrying off the girls. Or skip ahead really fast and age up the kids.

I'm reasonably assuming it was some other rape victim of Green's that did him in. I really hope Fellowes drops this plot, but knowing him, probably not.

Seriously, I'm wondering what the heck they're going to do next season with no baby drama, no young hot girl drama, and 2 out of 3 older suitors are out the door. I fear it will just be more Mary man drama, Edith being sad, more Bates Family Crimes, Denker/Spratt feuding, and Daisy whining and never doing anything or going anywhere some more.
posted by jenfullmoon at 9:54 AM on March 2, 2015


Seriously, I'm wondering what the heck they're going to do next season with no baby drama, no young hot girl drama, and 2 out of 3 older suitors are out the door.

Well...this season was 1924. Next season could jump ahead five or so years and use the beginning of the Great Depression as the backdrop. That might be a bit of a long jump, though. Still, it would be a nice excuse for Robert to lose the family fortune. Again.
posted by Thorzdad at 10:20 AM on March 2, 2015


I was so antsy to gab about this last night that I nearly made a post myself, but I'm so glad I waited for you, jenfullmoon :)

How wonderful that the pub guy was able to remember Bates because of his limp. You know, the limp that was COMPLETELY NONEXISTENT EVEN BEFORE LIFTING ANNA WITH HIS LEGS, NOT HIS BACK.

Who else thought something horrible was going to happen to Robert? Because it was totally going all La Boheme-core with the angina -- you know, Mimi gives a barely audible cough in Act I and before you know it someone's pawning a coat while she dies of tuberculosis.

Did Tom actually leave? Because I wonder if they'll manage to squeeze at least three more episodes out of Robert asking him, "I can't persuade you to stay, can I?" "You're not REALLY going to take our little Sybbie away, are you?"

And even though this show is about as predictable as the sunrise, Couchmate and I gave a massive AWWWWWWWWW and fluttered our hands at "I thought you'd never ask."
posted by St. Hubbins at 11:05 AM on March 2, 2015 [2 favorites]


Couchmate and I gave a massive AWWWWWWWWW and fluttered our hands at "I thought you'd never ask."

That really was the highlight of the whole episode, wasn't it? I know it was for me. And they pulled it off with nary a bit of foreshadowing, other than the "going in together to buy an inn" thing.

Assuming they are already married when the next series begins, which one of them do you think will be arrested for murder?
posted by Thorzdad at 11:31 AM on March 2, 2015 [8 favorites]


Even the stupid broth plot was more interesting the the Bates family crime drama that will never end.
posted by gaspode at 11:42 AM on March 2, 2015 [12 favorites]


The Christmas special a la season finale was kind of underwhelming. There appears to be a little bit of a rule with everyone engaged in the class system, BEHAVE or you will be humbled. We saw that with Atticus' father and his father's butler.

The Earl. For a second I was convinced they were going to kill him off, what with him being marvelous the last episode and this one, too, but instead it's just an ulcer. That had about the dramatic pay off as the Greene murder mystery.

Speaking of which, way to simply abandon a storyline without a definite conclusion. "The police will likely give up...." Huh? Why not a firm, "Our lawyer says their investigation is done for,so that's the end of that problem....FOREVER." ? C'mon? Are there people who write Fellowes and tell him how much they love the ongoing yo yo of Anna and Bates being apart via the justice system? I think the problem is that he's created generally wonderful people for these characters, so he has to find ways to create problems between them, and he can't because of how much they obviously love each other, so he fabricates crazy things to create those problems to keep them from being happily ever after. I think a few people here guessed correctly that Bates' was going to go confess, kudos.

I also about tossed my phone (my watching device) when Anna brought up the story of her step-father. Seriously, first you rape the woman, now you have to try and rape the child? Is Fellowes trying to say that Anna has some kind of victim complex? That's the type of person predators spot and hunt? The fact that THAT fact had relevance for less of an entire episode shows it was really entirely unnecessary. It was also one of the two revelations in this episode that basically went, "I've never told you this before..." Which is about as gold as you can get for signaling you're making stuff up about characters purely to turn the plot device another notch. Bad form, I say, bad form.

Tom. He's the hero in this story, isn't he? He starts as the fiery socialist car driver, ends up marrying the Earl's daughter, proves himself successful in the world of the enemy (i.e., that it's not blood or birth that matters), and then simply walks away from a life of luxury to a new world to start again. I don't know if Fellowes realizes this, but Tom represents the best of the show, revealing that the upstairs folks are special entirely because society simply accepts them as special. My only theory is that they will jump ahead to 1929 or something and have Tom come back to Downton dragging his unsuccessful tail between his legs. But for now, GO TOM!

This episode may have served also just to set the pieces for next season's romantic interests, be it the agent (who technically isn't that far removed from a lordship) for Edith or his good pal, race car driver and Matthew 2.0 for Mary. Mary was nothing but terrible in this episode, outside of her helping Rose with her charade, I'm not sure if she did anything nice (moral support to Anna?).

Violet. Swallowed a pill by claiming the soup was good and by returning a favor to the Princess. She needs an emmy, if only for the way she looks away and presses her lips together when she's said something she knows is controversial. Our Dowager has definitely changed since Season 1, she's no longer the reactionary so much as the commentator on the passing of time and her own place in society. In a way, her character has been allowed to become deeper and more fleshed out, and I think it's great. I also loved her quip about being one of the Edwardians (HINT: PARTY TIME).

Isobel. I kept waiting for Lord Merton to disown his sons, because of love. I was rather disappointed it ended this way, but Violet keeps her friend and the Doc has a second shot at Isobel's heart.

Carson and Mrs. Hughes. The best love story of the season, if not the show. For all the seasons we've had, Mrs. Hughes has displayed a radiating affection for Carson, but in minute doses, like tiles that make up a mosaic and the reveal happened last night. The show can end now.

Mr. Barrow. He's not an amateur. He's a force of nature and if a man could serve as a lady's maid, he should do so for Mary, they're a wonderful fit together. It's interesting because the Butler, Carson, represents the best in Mary, while the Under Butler, Thomas, kind of represents the worse.

Isis 2.0, absent. This may be the biggest surprise of the entire episode for me.

Most understated moment? The Earl quite smoothly concocting a way for Marigold to call him Grandfather without publicly stating that she's his granddaughter. Yes, Miss Sybby, you were a tool in his subterfuge.

Daisy...cook book queen in the future?

Molesley and Mrs. Baxster. When will they get engaged? I was kind of hoping for some scandalous reveal, something along Miko's dream plot, when Molesley started rifling through the cottage. He would find a series of photographs showing the monster that Bates really is. Unfortunately, he found a photograph. Which brought up another matter, have there been any cameras in Downton? Tom wanted to take mental pictures, but why not snap a few shots, either? The number of photographs in this show has been pretty low and usually connected entirely to plot devices.

I don't know if waiting another 10 months will be a strain or not. Hrm.
posted by Atreides at 12:52 PM on March 2, 2015 [6 favorites]


Tom.

Tom, Tom, Tom.

Love him so much. That scene where they all held hands... honestly, Tom was the only one I cared about in that little circle. He just makes everything so NICE. (Except -- spoiler alert! -- in The Imitation Game.)

And I felt exactly the same way about the Anna backstory. Ugh, ugh, ugh. It's like they got all excited about the critical response to the rape and decided to dump some more in wherever it landed.

This and the Baxter's sister thing are like when Elisabeth Röhm/Serena Southerlyn left Law & Order and said, in the last of her ***85 EPISODES***, "Is this because I'm a lesbian?" Huh? Did ANYBODY know that before?
posted by St. Hubbins at 2:09 PM on March 2, 2015 [2 favorites]


OH YES and seriously, why in the world would Mary fall for a guy who is a reckless driver?
posted by St. Hubbins at 3:02 PM on March 2, 2015 [5 favorites]


Fine, Downton Abbey, I Will Care About Carson and Mrs. Hughes.
"Downton Abbey has burned us again and again. "Get attached to this person," the show says. "Well, okay!" we comply. Then people die. "Here, care about this other person," the show suggests. "Well … maybe?" we try. Then that person is so boring, we wish they'd die.
"Care about the Anna/Bates rape and murder stories!" insists Downton Abbey. "Sure, we'll care about one rape or murder story, maybe over one season," we say. "No! Every season! Forever! With different murders!"
"Will Mary marry this suitor?" the show teases us, but we know better by now. "Will Edith have any measure of personal peace?" Oh, show, the next time will be the first time. Don't taunt us with ideas of Daisy's possible advancement: 12 years have transpired since the start of the show, and yet somehow she's still the lowliest of all sad creatures, beleaguered and undereducated, perpetually 16 years old.

There is but one glimmer left on Downton, one thing left to root for, one point of brightness to serve as our new North Star, and that is Carson and Mrs. Hughes's engagement. Their barely-a-thing hand-holding last season gave us hope for a gentle, stable, mature romance between two of the show's best characters. Sadly, that romance was back-burnered until the Christmas special, but at this point in Downton's evolution, we'll take what we can get."
posted by jenfullmoon at 3:36 PM on March 2, 2015 [3 favorites]


1--Andy from London is hired again at Thomas's urgings.

Phrasing?

I haven't watched it yet but I feel compelled to add that I don't like or buy the idea of Hughes and Carson married. They have had no chemistry this whole time, except for Hughes rolling her eyes at her stodgy old coot of a cow-orkair. Hughes deserves better, not just this guy who's around all the time. Who might be unknowingly gay.
posted by bleep at 5:48 PM on March 2, 2015


I wondered if Tom was moving to America to be part of the new show Fellowes is writing, "The Gilded Age," but I just looked it up and the show is apparently set in the 1880s so unless Tom is about to time travel, I'm quite wrong.
posted by dnash at 5:12 AM on March 3, 2015


I haven't watched it yet but I feel compelled to add that I don't like or buy the idea of Hughes and Carson married. They have had no chemistry this whole time, except for Hughes rolling her eyes at her stodgy old coot of a cow-orkair. Hughes deserves better, not just this guy who's around all the time. Who might be unknowingly gay.
posted by bleep at 8:48 PM on March 2


Have you come from some alternate universe? Carson and Mrs. Hughes have always had their weird reserved British chemistry. Carson isn't one to wear his heart on his sleeve, but his fondness for Mrs. Hughes has always been apparent. She rolls her eyes at him, but in a loving way. They've been acting like an old married couple this entire time. It makes perfect sense to me.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 5:38 AM on March 3, 2015 [9 favorites]


Wow, a lot of people got written off with the end of the season, huh? Not just Tom and Rose, but Kuragin of course, and barring some change, there's really not much need for the whole Sinderby clan or for Lord Merton (whose tragic flaw apparently was that he didn't beat his kids enough when they were growing up). Blake and Lord Gillywonker and the surprisingly charming Mabel Lane Fox are all gone. The Drewes can sink back into obscurity now. Last few episodes have been a bloodbath.

Of course we have a brace of new faces to replace them. Potential suitors for both Mary and Edith. And there's Andy the new footman, who I still think is likely to turn out to be gay and a romantic interest for Thomas. And they've now got the Hughes-Carson wedding as a storyline for next season.

It's nice to see them getting Thomas back on an even keel too. His scheming works when he has some reason for it, no matter how thin - and this was pretty thin, but it was enough.

And I have to say, Rose has developed nicely as a character. I've been quite impressed with her the last couple weeks. In particular, her saving the day in this episode showed her to be quick, perceptive, resourceful, clever, and even kind and compassionate. Quite a change from her initial role as the immature, flighty girl who was there to do something silly that could cause trouble for everyone around her and so launch a storyline.

Re Bates and Anna and the Green murder, I hereby just throw up my hands and walk away. It's clear to me now that Fellowes doesn't have the first fucking idea how a procedural works, and doesn't really care. He's totally willing to make up any shit he needs to about how criminal investigations and the legal system work as long as it lets him keep throwing dramatic curves at Anna and Bates, and I'm done with it. Okay, sure, they let Anna out of jail because her husband gave them an obviously bullshit confession and now that it's been proven to be a bullshit confession they'll just leave her alone because... I don't know, double jeopardy? A little known legal tradition that says women can't be charged with murders committed in a public street on St. Swithin's day? Whatever. Who actually killed Green? Who cares? The answer can no longer be dramatically interesting because he's wasted all those opportunities. I don't think Fellowes knows or cares, and neither do I. Enough. Just let it fucking drop. Next season is probably the last one, and the Anna and Bates plot line had damn well better be about Anna getting pregnant and them having a sweet little girl and living happily ever after. They've earned it. But the way Fellowes is going, she'll probably be seduced by Zeus in the form of a swan or some damn thing, because we need to go for the trifecta of sexual assaults on poor Anna.

I really do love the show, in case that's no longer clear, and I was even there for the initial rape story. But god damn Fellowes has frittered away all his capital with me on this particular story.
posted by Naberius at 8:28 AM on March 3, 2015 [9 favorites]


This and the Baxter's sister thing are like when Elisabeth Röhm/Serena Southerlyn left Law & Order and said, in the last of her ***85 EPISODES***, "Is this because I'm a lesbian?" Huh? Did ANYBODY know that before?

Even worse was the DA's response, "Oh no, of course not!", to which Serena responds by heaving a huge breath of relief and saying, "Good!"

Like he was going to throw up his hands and say, "You got me, woman. I am totally discriminating against you because of your sexual orientation." Of course he's going to deny it whether it's true or whether it isn't, and as an ADA Serena should at least have looked slightly less than completely convinced.

Laaaaaaame.

posted by orange swan at 1:21 PM on March 3, 2015


Lady Edith has the best clothes-- that's pretty much all I'm tuning in for these days.
posted by travertina at 1:36 PM on March 5, 2015 [1 favorite]


Not for nothing, but uh, remember Matthew?

That actor, Dan Stevens, has lost a bunch of weight and taken up martial arts. We just saw his newest movie The Guest, which was a missed opportunity, an interesting b-movie that falls apart in the last act. But what stuck with us was that Dan now looks like this. HO-LEE SHEE-IT.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 9:35 AM on March 6, 2015 [2 favorites]


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