Legends of Tomorrow: River of Time
May 6, 2016 5:01 AM - Season 1, Episode 14 - Subscribe

With Vandal Savage and brainwashed Carter successfully imprisoned on the Waverider, Rip decides that the best plan is to deliver Savage to the Time Masters for a 'told ya so!' speech and justice. Things go as well as usual.
posted by oh yeah! (12 comments total) 1 user marked this as a favorite
Does Ray win the idiot ball prize this week for allowing himself to be taunted into a fistfight with Savage? Lots of contenders for it, but, I think Ray wins.

And, what 2016 is Jax going back to? Didn't most of the team get erased from the timeline last week when they kidnapped their younger selves to hide from the Pilgrim? They didn't return anyone after they killed the assassin, last I remember they were worrying that time had started to set with them erased.

I have to admit, I didn't guess about Savage being under the Time Masters' protection. Maybe I win the idiot prize.
posted by oh yeah! at 5:14 AM on May 6, 2016

That whole episode was a giant mess. Outside of everything mentioned above, what were we supposed to make of those encounters? Are they glimpses of wish fulfillment? Are they episodes that time allowed to happen? But if they are things that happened, they happened in a past that was completely different from what Jax, Sara, and Ray actually experienced (for example, Ray was long gone before Felicity wound up in the chair), so what does that mean for their futures/current realities (assuming they actually have any and they weren't erased from the timeline)?

If you've been living on a time ship that is run by a device that emits some sort of time radiation, wouldn't you have some sort of containment suit to put on in case you need to make repairs to the device? And if you don't why wouldn't you tell the mechanic you've assigned to fix the malfunctioning device, "hey, it's kind of dangerous, maybe you should meld with your buddy and turn yourself into something that can withstand all sorts of radiation"?

Why would Kendra think that future Carter would be able to leave his time and hook up with her and the misfit team from 2016? She already had the Carter for her current lifetime. By messing with his head in an attempt to deprogram him, isn't she potentially depriving future Kendra of her Carter?

I could go on and on, but this is really scraping the bottom of the barrel. I really hope they manage to figure out what's going on for next season because I think this one has to be called a write-off.
posted by sardonyx at 6:47 AM on May 6, 2016 [3 favorites]

Maybe all this messing with the timeline will mean that Season 1 never happened and we can start fresh next year, although if we are lucky the end of Season 1 will erase all the Hawk stuff so they never existed.
posted by Servo5678 at 8:08 AM on May 6, 2016 [3 favorites]

That whole episode was a giant mess.

I disagree... kinda.
It starts well. They have the big bad. They don't take shit from the Big Bad... and his arguments make sense.

And then it turns to shit, and I agree The Dumb strikes. Let's ignore the Real Partners of Hawkworld for a second, lets assume that Jax can figure the mechanics of a time ship (and I, who hate cars, can kinda understand how a 1980s car works but is baffled by a 2000s black box car)....Ray's angry jealously is so NOT RAY.

And let's not get started on Rip's plan, because OBVIOUS FLAW IS OBVIOUS. Who could have predicted what would happen, besides everyone?

I almost hope Dalton took some time out from Penny Dreadul to cameo in this, it would make the Fake Time Lords even worse.

I swear, if not for Snart, the limited nature of the show, and whoever purchased the t-shirts for this episode, I'd have moved on.
posted by Mezentian at 8:14 AM on May 6, 2016

Maybe all this messing with the timeline will mean that Season 1 never happened and we can start fresh next year, although if we are lucky the end of Season 1 will erase all the Hawk stuff so they never existed.

I get the feeling that the writers and producers realized too late what a steaming pile they had created and are now just scrambling to throw as much stuff at the wall as possible in hopes that something, anything, sticks enough to earn them a season 2.

The only reason I still see this show is because there really isn't anything else on at the time. Time travel stories are inherently messy to begin with, but this thing is like someone cleaned-out the fridge, stuffed it all in a blender and hit "liquefy"...without putting the lid on.
posted by Thorzdad at 8:59 AM on May 6, 2016 [1 favorite]

They were renewed in March, earned or not. Arrow/The Flash have never been flawless, but it seems like the creative team is getting stretched thin somewhere along the way. Add in Supergirl and Legends and the four shows have had a combined total of 82 episodes during the current season, which is nuts. There's been so much lazy plotting relying on characters acting foolishly.
posted by Pryde at 9:17 AM on May 6, 2016

Sadly, there are no signs that we can actually hope for improvement in the second season, and I say that truly wanting things to get better.

I know that casting call notices are notoriously unreliable when it comes to the actual character, but the ones going around the Internet this week for Legends don't bode well at all:

A male in his late-20s to mid-30s is being sought to play a guy who grew up in the shadow of his World War II hero grandfather and has used a Han Solo-like facade to conceal his insecurity -- until, that is, the development of super powers enables him to love up to his family legacy.

Also being cast for "Legends" Season 2 is the female member of an elite paramilitary team living in the 1940s. An African-American, she is scrutinized in her time for both her gender and race and thus has worked twice as hard to be a perfect soldier. That said, she blames herself for -- and aims to avenge -- the death of a team member for whom she had repressed feelings.

Okay, the first one might be workable, but the second one is just going to give us As the Hawks Turn Part Two.
posted by sardonyx at 9:26 AM on May 6, 2016 [1 favorite]

Sadly, there are no signs that we can actually hope for improvement in the second season, and I say that truly wanting things to get better.

That's more or less where I'm at. I like most of the characters, they're funny, they have some decent action set pieces when they can get the budget together... but this show is garbage, and shows no signs of course correction. I'm going to continue rubbernecking out of morbid fascination, but holy crap did I expect better. (Of course, The Flash has been tanking this season too, and I never could stomach Arrow, so maybe my hopes were too high.)

* This week in Rip Hunter Is The Worst: sending Jax to certain doom without even warning him, or working to come up with a plan. Savage is right: whatever they do to him to save the world, they should also put Hunter out an airlock purely for self-preservation. He's moved from 'terrible leader' to 'active threat to their lives.' It is my fondest wish that when they break loose, they just leave him in that cell.

* As ever, Savage being terribly miscast drags everything down.

* Whenever Hawkman is on the screen, I ask myself, 'Did I do something to personally offend the writers? If I apologize on Twitter or something, will Hawkman stay dead this time?'

* I don't like 'em handing Ray the idiot ball like that. Brandon Routh is so much better than this.

* I did laugh at Savage and the Time Masters being in cahoots. Honestly, I bet he founded 'em, and my respect for the show would rise to a solid D+ at this point if that turns out to be the case because at least it would explain why they let Rip 'the Worst' Hunter stay in the organization so long. (I've been wondering about this for awhile, myself.)

* Snart, Mick and Sarah continue to kill it, at least. Great bone structure indeed, Sarah.

* Good grief, someone take away Dr. Stein's access to roofies.


Okay, the first one might be workable, but the second one is just going to give us As the Hawks Turn Part Two.

Thanks for the heads-up. That's gonna be painful.
posted by mordax at 1:42 PM on May 6, 2016 [3 favorites]

I finally caved and deleted the series recording. I love a lot of the cast, particularly Caity Lotz, but I can't help but feel this season was mostly a giant mess. I hope it gets better next season and I'll give it another shot.
posted by Justinian at 6:08 PM on May 6, 2016

Ugh this show. When Captain The Worst pulled out actual time charts/maps, my immediate thought was "Why doesn't Snart & Canary steal them and go all Time Banditing?" That sounds so much more entertaining than this whole failed season.
posted by Fiberoptic Zebroid and The Hypnagogic Jerks at 3:16 AM on May 7, 2016 [3 favorites]

There are a lot of ways to chart success and failure. Legends has slapped together an ensemble I really like watching -- so much so that I can tolerate its terrible plotting. But its plotting is really terrible. Personally, I think the problem is that there's a season-arc plot at all. These characters traveling time and space is a fun idea that is hampered by the endless Vandal Savage plotline, which could have been resolved twenty different times by now, and only hasn't because someone is convinced that hunting Vandal Savage is the story engine. In reality, hunting Vandal Savage is what's keeping the story engine from running as well as it should.
posted by kittens for breakfast at 4:59 PM on May 7, 2016 [3 favorites]

The only good things in this episode: "LEONARD SNART, ROBBER OF ATMS" and Rip's tacky naked lady pen story. Everything else in this was total boring garbage. Whatever the hell those flashbacks were made no sense. I generally like Victor Garber but his character is pretty asshole around Jax. I'm not even into Jax, but I feel sorry for him. Hate the regular plot. Just bad all around.
posted by jenfullmoon at 7:02 AM on June 6, 2016

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