Mystery Science Theater 3000: SANTA CLAUS CONQUERS THE MARTIANS Rewatch
October 10, 2019 11:39 AM - Season 3, Episode 21 - Subscribe
Rewatch! And of course we'll be rewatching it again when the Christmas thingy roll back around. There are now three Christmas movie episodes of MST3K; this is the one that's "classically" the worst, appearing on many lists of the worst of all time.I like the idea of it, the willingness to take an absurd premise seriously, and the energy (most of) the actors bring to it. But then there's Dropo.... Previously.
I'd like to point out some things about this movie.
For one, the names of the Martian famiy reflect their roles. "Ki-mar" is the "King Martian," you see. Similarly, "Mo-mar" is the Mother Martian, and "Bo-mar" and "Gir-mar" are boy and girl Martians. This breaks down with the others though.
For another, Voldar, the villian, is sort of sympathetic. If you knew Dropo, and how much he likes Christmas, wouldn't you fear for the rest of the planet becoming a bunch of outer space Gilligans too?
The movie has fun with the idea of Santa Claus in a space-age context, showing off his workshop in a TV interview and having him escape a depressurizing airlock by way of a very thin air duct basically because Santa does that sort of thing with thin chimneys all the time, but leaving off-screen what he actually does. But what happens to Torg the Killer Robot is almost chilling. Listen for Voldar's subtly horrified voice: "He's become a toy!"
And then there's Dropo. The ultimate. The lowest energy state. The end result of movie character radioactive decay. The party clown at the dark heart of the cosmos. Along with the insane flautists dancing around Azathoth at the center of the universe prances he, hyuck-ing and pratfalling around with them. Ia! Ia! Dropo ftagn!
I'd like to point out some things about this movie.
For one, the names of the Martian famiy reflect their roles. "Ki-mar" is the "King Martian," you see. Similarly, "Mo-mar" is the Mother Martian, and "Bo-mar" and "Gir-mar" are boy and girl Martians. This breaks down with the others though.
For another, Voldar, the villian, is sort of sympathetic. If you knew Dropo, and how much he likes Christmas, wouldn't you fear for the rest of the planet becoming a bunch of outer space Gilligans too?
The movie has fun with the idea of Santa Claus in a space-age context, showing off his workshop in a TV interview and having him escape a depressurizing airlock by way of a very thin air duct basically because Santa does that sort of thing with thin chimneys all the time, but leaving off-screen what he actually does. But what happens to Torg the Killer Robot is almost chilling. Listen for Voldar's subtly horrified voice: "He's become a toy!"
And then there's Dropo. The ultimate. The lowest energy state. The end result of movie character radioactive decay. The party clown at the dark heart of the cosmos. Along with the insane flautists dancing around Azathoth at the center of the universe prances he, hyuck-ing and pratfalling around with them. Ia! Ia! Dropo ftagn!
My advice for a Patrick Swayze Christmas: Put Santa in a corner.
posted by oneswellfoop at 1:21 PM on October 10, 2019 [2 favorites]
posted by oneswellfoop at 1:21 PM on October 10, 2019 [2 favorites]
To stevis: maybe a badly malformed pot, akin to the one Demi Moore made in Ghost, wrapped up like a really bad gift? Or the mask Swayze wore in Point Break with a Santa hat?
posted by JHarris at 1:25 PM on October 10, 2019
posted by JHarris at 1:25 PM on October 10, 2019
Maybe a container of candy canes with a sign that says Candy Cane Don't Hurt?
posted by cottoncandybeard at 1:42 PM on October 10, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by cottoncandybeard at 1:42 PM on October 10, 2019 [1 favorite]
It's time again for MST Club! C'mon out and watch bad movie with us, at https://cytu.be/r/Metafilter_MST3KClub, episode beginning at 9 PM Eastern time! (Thursday nights of course)
posted by JHarris at 5:26 PM on October 10, 2019
posted by JHarris at 5:26 PM on October 10, 2019
Voldar is having a lot of fun chewing the scenery.
posted by Chrysostom at 9:08 PM on October 10, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by Chrysostom at 9:08 PM on October 10, 2019 [1 favorite]
"I want to decide who lives and who dies!"
"Oh, I don't know about that one, Crow..."
Still one of my favorite Joel-Bot interactions to this day..
posted by FatherDagon at 9:11 AM on October 11, 2019 [3 favorites]
"Oh, I don't know about that one, Crow..."
Still one of my favorite Joel-Bot interactions to this day..
posted by FatherDagon at 9:11 AM on October 11, 2019 [3 favorites]
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posted by stevis23 at 12:38 PM on October 10, 2019 [1 favorite]