Mystery Science Theater 3000: I ACCUSE MY PARENTS Rewatch Season 5, Ep 7
Jimmy is a high-school student who writes essays about how great his family is, but in fact his home life is terrible. So, he goes right out and gets in trouble with the mob. Remember parents, if you don't throw your kid a birthday party they'll go out and crime it up, and lie about literally every. thing. Fortunately hamburgers dispensed by kindly diner owners are the cure for all moral lapses. Thank you cows, for being our huge lowing Jesuses! Previously Next week is the last episode in our poll tour. See inside for more information on MST Club.
Mystery Science Theater 3000: MITCHELL Rewatch Season 5, Ep 12
Rewatch! Joe Don Baker IS Mitchell, a cop that doesn't play by the rules. For example, the rules about drinking on the job. The rules about sleeping with prostitutes. The rules about interacting with other human beings, especially kids. Certainly the rules about nutrition and hygiene. There is a story here about a drug dealer and his henchman who Mitchell seems like is almost trying to annoy into turning themselves in. In the end the lasting impression caused by this movie can be summed up in two words: BABY OIL. You'll know why when it appears on screen. (shudder) In the show's history this episode is especially notable for being Joel Hodgson's last as host. Previously [more inside]
Mystery Science Theater 3000: MANOS: THE HANDS OF FATE Rewatch Season 4, Ep 24
Resuffer! For Halloween this year, we've moved an episode up an week. Spend All Hallow's Eve with us, Torgo and the gang! Previously. And we've got a whole bunch more Halloween stuff before and after at MST Club this week!
Rewatch! And of course we'll be rewatching it again when the Christmas thingy roll back around. There are now three Christmas movie episodes of MST3K; this is the one that's "classically" the worst, appearing on many lists of the worst of all time.I like the idea of it, the willingness to take an absurd premise seriously, and the energy (most of) the actors bring to it. But then there's Dropo.... Previously. [more inside]
Mystery Science Theater 3000: MASTER NINJA I Rewatch Season 3, Ep 22
Rewatch! Some doof is traveling across the country, in that way that loners in 70s shows often do, accompanied both by a hamster and a master ninja that is teaching him the ninja-ey arts along the way. The ninja, inexplicably, is played by Lee Van Cleef. The "movie" is actually two episodes of the show "The Master" strung together. The episode, of MST3K, is a good example of the kind of thing that made the show so popular. Previously.
Mystery Science Theater 3000: DANGER! DEATH RAY Rewatch Season 6, Ep 20
A scientist made a death ray, insisting it's for peaceful purposes. He's been kidnapped, you say? Send in secret agent Bart Fargo Bart Fargo Bart Fargo to rescue him. Ba dup ba dup ba da dah? Ba dup ba dup ba da dah. Previously
Mystery Science Theater 3000: SOULTAKER Rewatch Season 10, Ep 1
Rewatch! What awaits us after we die? If this movie is to be believed, we end up inside little rings such as the kind Sonic the Hedgehog collects, ferried back and forth through the afterlife by glorified deliverymen in black suits, overseen by the fearsomely-chinned Robert Z'Dar. A classic Season 10 episode, both for the ridiculous movie and for cameo appearances by both TV's Frank and Joel Hodgson, last seen in 624 and 512 respectively. Previously.
Mystery Science Theater 3000: GAMERA Rewatch Season 3, Ep 2
Rewatch! Up in the arctic, atomic tests run by Major Curley awaken a huge, slumbering giant from the deep... if you thought, "oh it's okay, it's just a big turtle," you might be surprised by the havoc it raises. Meanwhile, a sad sad kid in Japan is obsessed with his pet turtle, so his parents take it away from him, making him even more sad. Oh, how will their stories converge. First of the Gamera series. Other than perhaps Gamera vs. Barugon, the only Gamera without kids in it, this may be the one that plays it the straightest, without goofy enemy monsters, the Gamera theme song or other ridiculous elements. It's not terrible as a monster movie, but that subplot with Kenny pushes it over the edge into ludicrousness. Previously
Mystery Science Theater 3000: POD PEOPLE Rewatch Season 3, Ep 3
Rewatch! Deep in the northwestern woods somewhere is a house in which lives a lonely boy with way too many pets. His newest pet, however, is from a species with serious aggression problems. Oh also there are poachers in the woods. Oh and there's some singers in town who are vacationing in those same woods. It stinks! Pod People, shown early in Season 3, is a hugely iconic episode of MST3K, and "It stinks!" quickly became one of the shows many, many catchphrases. And I think we can all agree: the pet alien from this movie would make a better president than our current one. Previously.
Mystery Science Theater 3000: ALIEN FROM L.A. Rewatch Season 5, Ep 16
Rewatch! A young lady in California learns the oft-taught movie advice that, if she takes off her glasses and musses her hair a bit, men will be more attracted to her, and it only takes a trip to a dystopian underground civilization to learn it. This movie has a certain level of similarity to the Super Mario Bros. movie. This is a fan favorite episode, only the fourth episode P.M. (Post Mitchell), and back when it first aired it was the episode that really proved, after Joel left, that the show was going to be okay. Previously [more inside]
Mystery Science Theater 3000: ANGELS REVENGE Rewatch Season 6, Ep 22
Rewatch! Young women fight drug dealers in a tawdry production. Remember to shine your love! Previously
Mystery Science Theater 3000: GIRLS TOWN Rewatch Season 6, Ep 1
Rewatch! Silver is a rowdy young lady, committed to home for troubled teens Girls Town for a murder she didn't commit. The real culprit turns out to have done it in self-defense. Various people sing. Previously.
Mystery Science Theater 3000: THE CREEPING TERROR Rewatch Season 6, Ep 6
Rewatch! From the depths of OUTER SPACE comes a deadly shed containing two walking dirty carpets each festooned with vacuum cleaner attachments. Featuring the most ridiculous monsters in MST history, and that's saying something. What. A. Movie. This is the platonic ideal of a superbad z-grade monster movie. Terrible effects, horrible acting, a nonsensical script and nearly entirely dubbed dialogue. (muah) Exquisite! Previously.
Mystery Science Theater 3000: RED ZONE CUBA Rewatch Season 6, Ep 19
Rewatch! We knew it was coming. Here, again, is one of the very worst movies MST ever did, most infamous of the Coleman Francis triad. A trio of criminals get involved in various adventures, go Cuba for a while, make it back to the states, do some nefarious things and die. As John Carradine says: "GRIFFIN. He went all the way to HELL." Between Cherokee Jack, Petey Plane, the "Sick Man" bit, the Dark Spectre of Food, and others, it's a classic episode, but, not for the weak of heart or quick to sleep. At least it's got a speech-and-posture short, unlikely savior it may be. Previously.
Mystery Science Theater 3000: GAMERA VS. BARUGON Rewatch Season 3, Ep 4
Rewatch! Second of the Gamera kaiju films, in which a spinning, jet-propelled turtle fights monsters and destroys buildings. This one was of the age where Gamera was still mostly feared, and it's the only Gamera movie without any kids in it! The monster he fights, with freezing tongue and rainbow destruction beam, is rather random. Previously.
Mystery Science Theater 3000: GAMERA VS. GAOS Rewatch Season 3, Ep 8
Rewatch! Another movie about Japan's fiery spinning menace who's also the friend to children. This is the third Gamera movie, and the third that MST has done. This is the one where Gamera makes the transition from menace to hero, to protect Japan from space vampire Gaos (or "Gyaos" depending on transliteration). Not nearly as weird as Gamera vs. Guiron, it still generally works as a monster movie, and may be the best of the Gamera films. Previously.
Mystery Science Theater 3000: GAMERA VS. GUIRON Rewatch Season 3, Ep 12
Rewatch! It's the first of three Gamera movies in a row, out of MST's five. This is by far the silliest of the lot. Two kids are abducted by space ladies that want to eat their brains, but are rescued by Gamera after a fight with knife monster Guiron. There's so much in this episode: the Bike Song, "Cornjob," dancing go-go, giant turtle gymnastics, and, of course: The Gamera Song. He is filled with turtle meat! Previously.
Mystery Science Theater 3000: THE BEATNIKS Rewatch Season 4, Ep 15
Rewatch! No, they're not Beatniks. They're not even Boatniks. A young thug is content with a life of robbery until it turns out he can sing, but his grasping for fortune and respectability is held back by his jilted criminal buddies. It was directed and written by voice actor Paul "Boris Badenov" Frees! There's also a General Hospital soap opera short, which are unfortunately among the most boring shorts MST did, but does have their commercial for The Booze Council.
Mystery Science Theater 3000: OPERATION DOUBLE 007 Rewatch Season 5, Ep 8
Rewatch! Sean Connery's brother sure can do a lot. Plastic surgery, hypnosis, martial arts and so on. His brother's taken time off to go to the future to worship a huge flying head, so Secret Agent Central Casting sent him instead. He's up against an evil organization that somehow convinced a flotilla of clothes-averse young women to work for them, in capacities ranging from showgirl distraction brigade to movie screen. M and Moneypenny are involved somehow. In case you couldn't tell, this is an extremely silly movie and fully deserving being thrown against a wall and mocked by joke-making machines.Previously.
Mystery Science Theater 3000: CODE NAME: DIAMOND HEAD Rewatch Season 6, Ep 8
I have some issues with the internet popularity poll I made that decided the "top 50" episodes of MST3K to watch. This is one of the biggest of those issues. I'm not sure how Code Name: Diamond Head (an actual Quinn Martin, made-for-TV production) got as many votes as it did. I guess some people just like it. It's got the short A Day At The Fair, at least. Anyway, enjoy this failed pilot for a kind of spy series. Previously.
Mystery Science Theater 3000: SANTA CLAUS Rewatch Season 5, Ep 21
Rewatch! Santa sees, hears, knows all. Up at his workshop in a castle hovering above the north pole he keeps his helpers, children from every nation. There they work on toys, singing all day long. They can do naught else, lest the forces of hell gain the upper hand. Fortunately Santa has the aid of Merlin and his magical inventions. Kind of a spin-off of the (nearly defunct) Santa's Workshop chain of theme parks, and deeply, deeply insane. Previously.
Mystery Science Theater 3000: THE WILD WILD WORLD OF BATWOMAN Rewatch Season 5, Ep 15
Rewatch! MST3K has had a lot of goofy movies in its time. We watched one of the silliest, The Dead Talk Back, just last week. But in a field containing Robot Holocaust, Gamera vs. Guiron, Catalina Caper, Monster A-Go-Go, The Pumaman, Quest of the Delta Knights, Hobgoblins, Merlin's Shop of Mystical Wonders, Cry Wilderness, Carnival Magic and Mac And Me, this may still, ultimately, be the silliest. A woman in lingerie organizes a bunch of other scantily clad young women to fight crime and play at being "synthetic vampires," while her nemesis, the dastardly Rat Fink, attempt to steal an atomic hearing aid, by using his irresistible dancing drug, created by his mad scientist cohort, and his minion Heathcliff, who... look, it's just too ridiculous. You can see it for yourself when we watch it Thursday night! Previously
Mystery Science Theater 3000: THE DEAD TALK BACK Rewatch Season 6, Ep 3
Rewatch! One of the sillier movies in MST's rich history, this film was made in the 60s but unreleased until shortly before the episode aired. Krasker is a self-styled occultist with a hilariously dramatic speaking style. He lives in the basement of a boarding house with a collection of "supernatural" artifacts that are laugh-out-loud funny even without riffing. For some reason the police hang on this cut-rate Sherlock Holmes' every word, and consult with him on murder cases, a premises so ridiculous that it demonstrates just how stupid it is when investigatory seances happen in real life. But mostly the movie stalls until its sub-Scooby Doo twist ending. Previously.
Mystery Science Theater 3000: SAN FRANCISCO INTERNATIONAL Rewatch Season 6, Ep 14
Rewatch! What would Airplane! be if it weren't played for laughs, like, at ALL? It'd be a lot like San Francisco International, a pilot for a TV series heavily inspired by the movies that inspired Airplane!, like Zero Hour and the various Airports. So come back with us and linger in a place that most people want to pass through as quickly as possible. Previously.
Mystery Science Theater 3000: STAR FORCE: FUGITIVE ALIEN II Rewatch Season 3, Ep 18
The crew of Earth spaceship Bacchus III deals with various problems, culminating with showdowns with Ken's old girlfriend out of a murder vendetta against him, and the kabuki leader of the Star Wolves himself. Two-fisted Japanese pseudo-Star Wars space adventures with surprisingly great music that was edited into near incomprehensibility by Sandy Frank Productions. It's the sequel to Fugitive Alien, which was slightly more lucid. Previously.
Mystery Science Theater 3000: CATALINA CAPER Rewatch Season 2, Ep 4
Rewatch! What do you get when you cross a beach movie with a heist movie? Nothing good! It does contain a musical number by Little Richard. This movie marks the establishment of the rule that MST3K would avoid comedies, but it's still a fairly well-remembered episode from the show's classic era. With this film, we're back in Joel territory for a while! Previously
Set several millennia after the events of the previous three books, God Emperor follows the latter days of the galactic reign of a transformed Leto II Atreides, son of Paul Muad'dib, and the society, and dissidence, that long rule has brought about.
Book three of Frank Herbert's Dune series follows the young twin children of Paul Muad'dib as the navigate a changing Arrakis and a dangerous web of galactic political conspiracies.
The second book in Frank Herbert's Dune series, detailing the events surrounding Emperor Paul Muad'dib, his confederates, and his enemies, in the years following a galaxy-spanning Fremen jihad.
The landmark first novel in Frank Herbert's Dune canon, which introduces a far-future universe in which the fate of a pan-galactic human empire hangs on the machinations of powerful families, political machinations, and the life and leadership of a young Paul Atreides.
Shameless (US): Like Father, Like Daughter Season 4, Ep 3
Frank finds his oldest child; Fiona meets her boyfriend’s brother. [more inside]
Shameless (US): My Oldest Daughter Season 4, Ep 2
Frank tells Carl his liver has “finally given up.” “No more alcohol. Just drugs — whatever you can get me.” Carl tries to find drugs and a liver transplant for Frank. [more inside]
Shameless (US): Simple Pleasures Season 4, Ep 1
At the beginning of season 4, Debbie is a surly teenager, Lip is starting college, Fiona and Mike are adjusting to their new relationship, V finds out she’s pregnant, and Ian is missed. [more inside]
Shameless (US): Survival of the Fittest Season 3, Ep 12
After Frank collapses in his jail cell, he wakes up in a hospital bed and thinks he’s in Heaven. A doctor tells him he’s not dead, but he will be soon unless he stops drinking. Meanwhile, Fiona leaves a dramatic series of messages for Jimmy … [more inside]
Shameless (US): Order Room Service Season 3, Ep 11
Fiona tells the kids to start thinking about the possibility of moving to Michigan. Then she picks up Jimmy’s cell phone and hears from Ann Arbor Rentals about a deposit Jimmy put on a studio in Michigan. [more inside]
Shameless (US): Civil Wrongs Season 3, Ep 10
Frank vaults into an elite position as spokesperson for the gay community, giving speeches that are cringe-inducingly unprepared but manage to hit just the right notes to appeal to donors to Abraham Page’s organization. Then Alistair Huddleston shows up touting his Return to Paradise Project, which offers reparative therapy to convert gay people to heterosexuality through “clinical fornication” — “no shame … no guilt … no knowledge of things that distract us from God’s love.” [more inside]
Shameless (US): Frank the Plumber Season 3, Ep 9
In a pivotal episode, Frank becomes a gay-rights hero, Fiona and Jimmy both get new jobs, Fiona hits it off with her supervisor, Jimmy decides he wants to go to med school, and two love triangles reach new lows. [more inside]
Shameless (US): Where There's a Will Season 3, Ep 8
The Gallaghers’ cousin, Patrick, is trying to take their house away from them by enforcing Aunt Ginger’s will, which superseded the Gallaghers’ version of her will at the end of the previous episode. The Gallaghers know both wills are fraudulent, but they can’t reveal how they know. [more inside]
Shameless (US): A Long Way From Home Season 3, Ep 7
Fiona seeks custody of her siblings. [more inside]
Shameless (US): Cascading Failures Season 3, Ep 6
The Department of Family Services (DFS) puts Fiona’s siblings in foster care. [more inside]
Shameless (US): The Sins of My Caretaker Season 3, Ep 5
The city plans to do some sewer work in the Gallaghers’ backyard soon, so Frank and his kids need to dig up Aunt Ginger first. Fiona tells Frank his motivation: “You buried a body and you stole from the federal government — you will never get out of prison.” But Fiona also realizes that any of them could them could be charged as accomplices. [more inside]
Shameless (US): The Helpful Gallaghers Season 3, Ep 4
Fiona throws a party at her house for the other cashiers from work, who are all women, to talk about how their boss, Bobby, coerces them to give oral sex. Fiona declares: “Our mouths are not his property to use as he pleases … It’s sexual harassment.” [more inside]
Shameless (US): May I Trim Your Hedges? Season 3, Ep 3
Kevin’s estranged wife, Cheryl, and her son, Kyle, are staying at Kev and V’s house. V doesn’t believe that Cheryl showed up because her car broke down. Kevin: “What do you think, she broke her car on purpose?” V: “I think she broke you on purpose … and I put you back together, and now she’s here to take back what I fixed.” Kevin is preparing divorce papers, but forgets about them when Cheryl says Kyle might be his. [more inside]
Shameless (US): The American Dream Season 3, Ep 2
Fiona is dealing with the fallout of having paid $1,000 at the end of the previous episode to manage her own night at Meg's club, when the family needs to pay the property tax. Now she has to be “entrepreneurial.” Lip is upset that Fiona did this of her own accord, without consulting the rest of the family — “if we’re going to be every man for himself, this family is going under, fast.” [more inside]
Shameless (US): El Gran Cañon Season 3, Ep 1
Frank is stuck in Mexico without a passport. Debbie is the only one who seems to care that Frank has been missing for 137 days. She’s made a shrine to him with a bottle of Old Style beer. [more inside]
Shameless (US): Fiona Interrupted Rewatch Season 2, Ep 12
Lip is with Karen at the hospital, while the rest of the Gallagher siblings return home to see the kitchen spattered in blood from their mom’s suicide attempt. Fiona and Jimmy/Steve start making out and go to the bedroom, but they’re interrupted by a sad Debbie and Carl, who fall asleep in the bed. (This episode seems to be about interruption — see the title.) Sheila and Jody have brought home Karen’s baby. After Karen is released, she finds her baby and gives her mom an ultimatum: “Me or the baby.” [more inside]
Shameless (US): Just Like the Pilgrims Intended Rewatch Season 2, Ep 11
The Thanksgiving episode. Monica is depressed and has stopped taking her medication — “I don’t wanna be me anymore.” Debbie is worried she might have inherited depression from her mom. [more inside]
Shameless (US): A Great Cause Rewatch Season 2, Ep 10
Monica discovers her kids’ “squirrel fund” and uses it to buy drugs, a car, and toys. [more inside]
Shameless (US): Hurricane Monica Rewatch Season 2, Ep 9
Monica and Frank are back together — the first time we get to see what they’re like as a couple. Fiona walks in on them having sex in the kitchen, and scolds them for the inappropriate location (hypocritically — see the pilot). Fiona puts her mom on birth control because “the world doesn’t need another Gallagher.” [more inside]
Shameless (US): Parenthood Rewatch Season 2, Ep 8
Fiona and Lip agree that Fiona will get her GED, and Lip will go back to high school after dropping out for a week. Frank walks in on Ian and Mickey having sex in the Kash & Grab. [more inside]
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