Hogfather

September 22, 2023 9:47 PM

It's beginning to look a lot like Hogswatch! The Disc's midwinter celebration, held on the last day of the year, is a day of many traditions since time immemorial. You hang the mistletoe, you give the staff the day off, you exchange presents, and of course you await a visit from the Hogfather. But when Susan Sto Helit is visited on Hogswatch eve, the Jolly Fat Man is her grandfather in a fake beard and costume. And her grandfather is, of course, Death. Which means Susan has to fix reality again, while dodging the Assassins' Guild's most maladapted member... (Death #4, Discworld #20) By Terry Pratchett

Ho ho ho! Merry... Late September! And welcome back to the Discworld Book Club, where we're now going through in order to fill in the missing spots left by previous Discworld threads. Previously:

• The Color of Magic
• The Light Fantastic
• Equal Rites
• Mort
• Sourcery
• Wyrd Sisters
• Pyramids
• Guards! Guards!
• Eric
• Moving Pictures
• Reaper Man
• Witches Abroad
• Small Gods
• Lords and Ladies
• Men At Arms
• Soul Music
• Interesting Times
• Maskerade
• Feet of Clay
• Jingo
• The Fifth Elephant
• The Truth
• Night Watch
• Monstrous Regiment
• Going Postal
• Thud!
• Making Money
• Snuff
• The Shepherd's Crown

Our next entry should be The Last Continent

-----

T'was the Week before Hogswatch, and deep in the Guild,
A stranger was asking that someone be killed.
Lord Downey requested a price and a name,
Which the stranger provided, then left as it came.
Lord Downey debated the man for the day,
And chose Mr. Teatime, er, Te-ah-tim-ay.
Unseen University's Wizards did worry,
At Mustrum Ridcully's unwavering fury
To open a chamber, sealed up like a tomb,
An honest and genuine Johnson bathroom!
While down in a cellar, a poker is rattling,
Handling monsters intent on their prattling.
See, Bogeymen lurk underneath children's beds
Though Susan Sto Helit is whom they should dread.
And what should appear in the window that night,
A skeletal figure, a hideous sight!
With a fake woolen beard stretching over his jaw,
And a pillow, as Susan immediately saw,
In place of a genuine belly - t'was him!
The Hogfather this year was utterly Grim.
Can Sugarplums find room in Ankh-Morpork's homes,
While Billous the Oh God and Veruca Gnomes
Are par for the course of this long night's surprises?
We'll just have to see, if the sun ever rises...

posted by Navelgazer (14 comments total)

Y'all this one is so bugnuts and I love it. It feels like a particularly deranged Doctor Who Christmas special, for any number of reasons, but I love the raging social commentary throughout, at the Department Store, at the Restaurant, and at Good King Wenceslas. I'm sure I'll have more to say later, but this one is a classic for a reason.
posted by Navelgazer at 9:52 PM on September 22, 2023 [7 favorites]

Somebody's going to post it, so I'll go ahead. This is one of my favorite things a person ever wrote.

“All right," said Susan. "I'm not stupid. You're saying humans need... fantasies to make life bearable."

REALLY? AS IF IT WAS SOME KIND OF PINK PILL? NO. HUMANS NEED FANTASY TO BE HUMAN. TO BE THE PLACE WHERE THE FALLING ANGEL MEETS THE RISING APE.

"Tooth fairies? Hogfathers? Little—"

YES. AS PRACTICE. YOU HAVE TO START OUT LEARNING TO BELIEVE THE LITTLE LIES.

"So we can believe the big ones?"

YES. JUSTICE. MERCY. DUTY. THAT SORT OF THING.

"They're not the same at all!"

YOU THINK SO? THEN TAKE THE UNIVERSE AND GRIND IT DOWN TO THE FINEST POWDER AND SIEVE IT THROUGH THE FINEST SIEVE AND THEN SHOW ME ONE ATOM OF JUSTICE, ONE MOLECULE OF MERCY. AND YET—Death waved a hand. AND YET YOU ACT AS IF THERE IS SOME IDEAL ORDER IN THE WORLD, AS IF THERE IS SOME...SOME RIGHTNESS IN THE UNIVERSE BY WHICH IT MAY BE JUDGED.

"Yes, but people have got to believe that, or what's the point—"

MY POINT EXACTLY.”

posted by Pope Guilty at 7:16 AM on September 23, 2023 [25 favorites]

"The place where the falling angel meets the rising ape" may be the finest ten words ever written about humanity.
posted by Etrigan at 7:19 AM on September 23, 2023 [15 favorites]

This was the book that really sucked me into the Discworld books. I'm a real sucker for stories about Story. And who was this Susan Sto Helit, and what was her relationship with Death???

Dove in, never looked back. #GNUTerryPratchett
posted by Archer25 at 7:24 AM on September 23, 2023 [2 favorites]

In 1996 or ‘97, I went way out of my way—not easy as a teen—to see Pratchett in person at a bookstore, touring for a recent book. He said to us, “It says that I was going to do a reading, but I am given to understand that despite the American public education system, many of you can actually read.”

So he didn’t read from his latest. Instead, he read from what would become Hogfather. It was the scene where Death turns up at the grotto, and the enormous pissing hog delights the children. A joy to one and all.
posted by Countess Elena at 8:13 AM on September 23, 2023 [11 favorites]

Loved it. Every now and then, I get tempted to see how much of the evolution of the Hogfather is legitimately part of the evolution of Santa, but then when I crack the book open, it just sort of sucks me in. I also wonder about Mr. Teatime's glass eye, and whether or not it might be a certain artifact from the end of Mort.
posted by Halloween Jack at 8:54 AM on September 23, 2023 [2 favorites]

T'was the Week before Hogswatch, and deep in the Guild...

Navelgazer, thank you. This is a delight. And thanks for these Discworld posts!
posted by MonkeyToes at 12:25 PM on September 23, 2023 [7 favorites]

THEN SHOW ME ONE ATOM OF JUSTICE

One of my favorite Death quotes is "There is no justice, there's just us."
posted by Greg_Ace at 1:54 PM on September 23, 2023 [8 favorites]

I am not sure whether I have read this more than Night Watch, but both have a high double-digit number of reads from me...this one probably because it is lighter (and has Sue in it--"Thief of Time" is probably third-most read).

There are so many moments and details in this. I don't much care for the character of the "oh god" of hangovers, but it's such a clever turn of phrase. And, of course, his indigestion-troubled counterpart, last seen in the privy...wait, wasn't the bursar in there?

The weakest part of the book was, I think, the reveal of the truth behind the tooth fairy, I found that scene a bit tedious. Though I am pleased at Banjo taking over the job. I too think carefully about the bookmark in his copy of "Where's Spot?" or its disc equivalent.
posted by maxwelton at 3:33 AM on September 24, 2023 [2 favorites]

It is possible to source a copy of the movie script for this, and having done so it is possible (and recommended) to gather your friends to read it as a holiday celebration. We did it on Zoom during 2020 lockdowns (we’d previously been reading the Hitchhiker’s Guide radio scripts) and while it wasn’t really a replacement for having a normal holiday, it certainly improved circumstances. Nobody in the group could agree on how to pronounce Teatime (once you actually try to say it out loud you realize that the pronunciation given is a little ambiguous) so we all just said whatever we felt like.
posted by babelfish at 7:11 AM on September 25, 2023 [5 favorites]

Note, last time I looked, you can find the entire Hogfather movie on youtube if you're of a mind to watch it. I think it's about as OK an adaption as is likely without a budget of jillions for special effects. It's no Troll Bridge, but it's pretty good.
posted by maxwelton at 4:22 PM on September 25, 2023

I'm not saying that either Susan Sto Helit or Michelle Dockery were created for the other but goddamn if Dockery isn't absolutely perfect for the role.
posted by Pope Guilty at 4:27 PM on September 25, 2023 [3 favorites]

My impression from the books is that Susan is a perfectly fine looking person but perhaps not as gorgeous as Dockery is? Or maybe she is and just fades that away from people's perception of her. Dunno. Pratchett (I don't think) ever describes her in detail.

Still, Michelle did do the role justice, as you'd like to think Ian Richardson did as Death (but I couldn't possibly comment).
posted by maxwelton at 7:55 PM on September 25, 2023

Oh I don't know if it's necessarily how she looks, though I think she looks good in the role. It's her speech, her mannerisms. She embodies Susan.
posted by Pope Guilty at 10:30 PM on September 25, 2023 [2 favorites]