FanFare

"Crank Up the Carnage." While it looks kind of like the thing The Asylum would make now, this movie in fact was made back in 1993, and has some decent stop motion robot effects. The movie is similar in many ways to Robot Jox, from the same director, but their stories are unconnected. In the future the world has been divided into two factions, the "North Hemi" and the "Eastern Alliance." A war was fought between giant robots, but now only one is left, and it's currently being used as passenger transport and tourism. There follows a plot involving "Centros," perfidious Eastern Alliance military leaders, and of course at the end a giant robot fight. It's a real mess. In MST3K's story, Kinga and Max's damaged Kingadome has been saved by a financier from the future named Dr. Cabal, who tells them, for their venture to be a success, they must find a second host to subject bad movies to.... Premiered Friday early to Kickstarter backers, it is not currently possible to watch officially; its official premiere will be on May 7. [more inside]
posted by JHarris on Apr 5, 2022 - 9 comments

Former Republican Congressman Bob Dornan stars in this reprehensible promotional piece for both a terrible aircraft and the US Air Force. This is the episode that gave us the "poopy suit," the "song about stock footage," and the United Servo Academy Men's Chorus. This is the beginning of MST Club's encore run of the top 50+, determined by poll, of MST3K episodes. For more information, please click through. [more inside]
posted by JHarris on Sep 5, 2018 - 11 comments

Kids serve the telepathic bidding of a Blob from Space to sabotage military weapons. The twist: the Blob is a good guy! With short Century 21 Calling: At the Seattle World's Fair, everyone is excited about PHONES. You'll be able to record frequently-called numbers onto little plastic cards! An uncommonly ridiculous movie and short combo. Warning: contains Uncle Fester in shorts! This is another episode that's not on DVD, and probably never will be. Vimeo (1h32m) Premiered June 13, 1998. 20 episodes left. [more inside]
posted by JHarris on Dec 13, 2017 - 7 comments

So, recently?

• Gorsuch appointed to Supreme Court via the "nuclear option," Devin Nunez recuses himself from investigating Trump as he himself is comes under an ethics investigation, and Thursday: Trump launches missiles at a Syrian airfield on very short notice and without apparent strategy while Brian Williams sings rhaposodies about their beauty. It's an act that, like so many of Trump's other acts, he tweeted against when Obama did it.
• Bill O'Reilly hit by revelations that he settled multiple sexual harrasment suits totalling 15 million dollars over the years, leading to around 60 advertisers pulling ads from his show, but somehow a defense from Donald Trump. Sensing an opportunity, LWT pushed to fill some of the vacated time with their Catheter Cowboy, who will hopefully soon be telling Trump: "You're blowing this. You're sacrificing the chance to make society a better place on the altar of your towering ignorance and your fragile ego. YOU ARE BLOWING THIS."
• Main story: The gigantic problem of gerrymandering, mostly from Republicans, but from some Democrats too, as well as the difficulties with redrawing districts fairly and intelligently. YouTube (20m)

[more inside]
posted by JHarris on Apr 12, 2017 - 3 comments

"THE BLAZING ADVENTURE of the men and planes who rocket to the very edge of OUTER SPACE!" A young Air Force cadet, who is Actual Bob Dornan and manifestly unlikeable even then, learns to fly a new jet, but forget about that. Get ready for tons of hott thicc triple-X refueling action! Oooh god. This episode has gotten something of a legendary reputation because of its great inanity (you wouldn't BELIEVE how much refueling can be in a movie), and the pointless late-film introduction of the "poopie suit," and the riffing is pretty great. The host segments have some great moments too, with the highlight being the United Servo Academy Men's Chorus. But the movie BITES, much more than the average. YouTube (1h32m) Promo (They're playing Doom!) Premiered October 29, 1994. [more inside]
posted by JHarris on Jan 12, 2017 - 12 comments

Japan ends its pacifist military stance. Warren G. Harding wrote naughty letters to his mistress. (YouTube) Obama goes on a tour of the nation. Main story: Income inequality and the estate tax. (YouTube) FIFA Secretary General Jerome Valcke is a hypocritical bastard. The CIA tries, and fails, to improve its public image.
posted by JHarris on Jul 14, 2014 - 9 comments