Mystery Science Theater 3000: ROBOT WARS

April 5, 2022 1:19 AM - Season 13, Episode 2

"Crank Up the Carnage." While it looks kind of like the thing The Asylum would make now, this movie in fact was made back in 1993, and has some decent stop motion robot effects. The movie is similar in many ways to Robot Jox, from the same director, but their stories are unconnected. In the future the world has been divided into two factions, the "North Hemi" and the "Eastern Alliance." A war was fought between giant robots, but now only one is left, and it's currently being used as passenger transport and tourism. There follows a plot involving "Centros," perfidious Eastern Alliance military leaders, and of course at the end a giant robot fight. It's a real mess. In MST3K's story, Kinga and Max's damaged Kingadome has been saved by a financier from the future named Dr. Cabal, who tells them, for their venture to be a success, they must find a second host to subject bad movies to.... Premiered Friday early to Kickstarter backers, it is not currently possible to watch officially; its official premiere will be on May 7.

Episode 1302 ROBOT WARS
Rotten Tomatoes (Critics N/A, Audience 26%), Wikipedia, IMDB (1993, 4.0 stars)
"A renegade Megarobot pilot and an archaeologist must team up to thwart the Centro's attempts to resurrect a hidden Megarobot, with which they can challenge the prevailing order."
Directed by Albert Band. Written by Charles Band and Jackson Barr. Starring Don Michael Paul, Barbara Crampton and James Staley as "Stumpy."

posted by JHarris (9 comments total)

I didn’t like this one as much as the first episode, but I will admit I’m a sucker for Santo. The leads had no chemistry and the story seemed to take a long time to get where it was obviously going.

Having said that, like the last episode, I thought the riffing had stepped up a notch, and I still laughed out loud a couple of times, so I’ll take it.
posted by wittgenstein at 1:41 PM on April 5, 2022 [1 favorite]

I was distracted by things during the premiere showing, but what I caught of it had some great riffs, and it seems like a deeply goofy movie, what with the tourist car on top of the giant scorpion combat robot.
posted by JHarris at 4:30 PM on April 5, 2022 [1 favorite]

This is one of the most unappealing heroes ever to appear on film. Such a mess of a story, but they do save a lot of money by visiting a 90s town "frozen in time" as a tourist destination.

Looking forward to more Dr Cabal in the future.
posted by fifteen schnitzengruben is my limit at 7:22 PM on April 6, 2022 [1 favorite]

So nobody can see this but you guys, huh? Cool.
posted by valkane at 7:57 PM on April 6, 2022

I liked this way better than the first episode. That Santo movie just wasn't doing it for me at all; I watched 20 minutes of it here and there a couple times and never finished it. I'll give it another shot when the final cut of the episode shows up.
posted by jordemort at 8:56 PM on April 6, 2022

I'm really happy to see MST3K finally opening up the Full Moon vault. It's not their first Charles Band production, but it is their first Barbara Crampton movie. Knowing that we're getting Doctor Mordrid later on (with Crampton's Re-Animator co-star Jeffrey Combs) it's like they've finally delved into a particularly rich strata of the '80s/'90s cult movie landscape.
posted by Strange Interlude at 8:21 AM on April 7, 2022 [1 favorite]

You know what they say about Dr. Cabal: There is no Cabal.
posted by ckape at 8:50 PM on April 7, 2022 [1 favorite]

When we showed this one, it was weird--most of our regulars ended up leaving early, but the people who are usually only around for the main episode stuck around. It seems to be a divisive episode.
posted by JHarris at 9:09 PM on April 7, 2022

The host segments were all pretty good, but the movie itself is dire in a way the riffing can't really save. Whenever the two leads were on screen together I wanted her to punch him, and unfortunately she only does that once.
posted by ckape at 6:09 PM on April 10, 2022 [2 favorites]