Tuca & Bertie: The Deli Guy
May 23, 2019 9:33 PM - Season 1, Episode 3 - Subscribe
Tuca scores a date with the Deli Guy she’s been crushing on, while Bertie worries that her and Speckle’s sex and romantic life has collapsed into dull routine.
Things that happened
Things that happened
- Sweet opening jam!
- Hooters on a bike!
- A poster for the Indigo Gulls
- Tuca crushing on the man from Meat Slicers (“He’s reckless and has no spatial awareness”)
- Speckle’s six-step plan for the evening
- “Now the electricity is safely inside the electricity tubes”
- Hate to have my skeleton fall out of my body
- Searchin’ for hot mating on Grrgle
- Speckle actually has quite a good butt! Take a look.
- “Ugh, I loves me some bird watchin’”
- “Warm potato! Warm potato! Warm potato!”
- Bertie and Speckle’s sex drawer: edible long johns, normal sized condoms, the complete common-sutra, sensible glide, reasonable dildo (with a smiley face!) and the business card for one Pastry Pete
- A book store! So many things:
- Self Destruction, Molting Day Traditions, Bird Watching, and Sex Books sections
- Is Art Good?
- Who Dis?
- A number o’ sex books: The Same Story: A Fifth Time by Biffy Egg-Bottom Goosebangs by Zinsfin R. Dimple, Slutting Around for Dummies : How To Be A Slutty Dum-Dum by Peggy Bootee, How To Fuck Your Computer: You Know You Want To by Jesse Buttons, Your Phone Number: Write It Down In This Book by Rod ManHandle, Hot Sex For Agreeable People by Linda Lovewise, Oral History of Oral Orioles and Areolas, Stupid Names For Your Lady Bits, Third Edition, and Sex Good by Tuca Toucan
- Almost all mirrors are mean mirrors
- Bertie will die at Two PM.
- All snakes in the world go “Hisssss!” and that is correct. (Does Hanawalt do the hiss? Because that would be a satisfying cameo.)
- I’m sorry she’s blue!”
- Glow Room Jam! Tuca, you are wrong. Worms do know best.
- Watching A Sensible Migration immediately after The Nests of Netherfield seems like it should take at least six hours.
- Sad night jam! Book-ended by a saxophone.
- “Why am I so much cooler when I’m by myself?”
- “I’ve never not been drunk on a date before”
EXP 5/5/20 CLASS D
SEX M HAIR BRN EYES YLW
HGT 5'-3" WGT 175 lb
- Bertie will not take off her shirt
- Speckle is the perfect man.
- Bertie also has a nice butt. Two nice-butted bird people.
- Yo, this city is bananas
- When the mean mirror cannot shame you, you have won.