Mystery Science Theater 3000: MASTER NINJA I
September 16, 2015 8:21 AM - Season 3, Episode 22 - Subscribe

"The Master Is Here! He's the supreme warrior. Even his eyes can kill you. His student is the supreme heartthrob. His eyes can melt you." A goofy kid who lives out of his van with his pet hamster is taken on as apprentice by an aging American ninja master played, amazingly, by Lee Van Cleef, and who's back in the US looking for his lost daughter. They travel the country in a manner not unlike Richard Kimble or David Banner. This is another of those direct-to-video "movies" that are actually episodes of a TV show stitched together. This time though, despite the name, it's an American show, "The Master," from 1984, and it's from Film Ventures International. You might think it'd make for a bad episode, but this is another true classic, thanks no doubt to the writing talents and obsessive pop culture knowledge of one Frank Conniff. A good jumping-on episode. YouTube (1h33m) Premiered January 11, 1992.

Episode 322: MASTER NINJA I
MST3K Wikia - Mighty Jack's MST3K Review - Satellite News

IMDB, for original series "The Master" (4.2 stars)
"An aging American ninja master and his headstrong young apprentice search for the elder man's daughter."
Created by Michael Sloan.
Starring Lee Van Cleef, Timothy Van Patten and Shô Kosugi.
posted by JHarris (12 comments total) 4 users marked this as a favorite
Bunna bun buh buh bah! Bunna buh buh buh bah! Bunna buh buh buh bah! MASTER NINJA THEME SONG!!!
posted by Chrysostom at 9:08 AM on September 16, 2015 [3 favorites]

Lee Van Cleef AND Timothy Van Patten... it's a Double Van Fest!!!

if only they'd also had Jean-Claude Van Damme or Steven Van Zandt or Trish Van Devere or Melvin Van Peebles or James Van Der Beek (he may have been a little young then) or Dick or Jerry Van Dyke or Mamie Van Doren or even one of the other Van Pattens (Dick or Joyce or gee, there are a lot).

I'm going to be playing that 1970s classic song "Chevy Van" on repeat while watching this one, because THAT should be the theme song. Or something by Van Halen.

And now I'm wondering if the creator of Dr. McNinja missed an opportunity by not naming him Dr. VAN Ninja.
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:47 PM on September 16, 2015 [1 favorite]

Somehow, for me, Master Ninja Theme Song must be sung to the tune of Everybody Dance Now. I can't do it any other way.
posted by Naberius at 1:01 PM on September 16, 2015 [5 favorites]

Oh, what's the showing info?
posted by Chrysostom at 1:19 PM on September 16, 2015 [1 favorite]

Hey, Mister! Your ninja's dragging!
posted by ob1quixote at 4:26 PM on September 16, 2015

There will be a show don't worry, it's the same as usual, I just haven't gotten around to putting up the details yet.
posted by JHarris at 7:14 PM on September 16, 2015

So, those details:

As usual, the show will be Thursday at 9 PM Eastern time, at More info is in the club FAQ.
posted by JHarris at 8:41 PM on September 16, 2015

Any. sho kosugi movie is a good movie, regardless of the van cleef conspiracy.
posted by lkc at 4:39 PM on September 17, 2015

I like the part with the ninja.
posted by valkane at 5:01 PM on September 17, 2015

The gerbil saying "you bastard" will never not crack me up.
posted by nom de poop at 11:25 PM on September 17, 2015 [1 favorite]

Surely, Demi Moore's finest role.
posted by Chrysostom at 7:16 AM on September 18, 2015

The Master on the Blue
posted by CheesesOfBrazil at 11:20 AM on January 20, 2018 [1 favorite]

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