Crazy Ex-Girlfriend: My Mom, Greg's Mom and Josh's Sweet Dance Moves!
November 30, 2015 9:34 PM - Season 1, Episode 8 - Subscribe
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend has “winter finale” ahead of everyone else, apparently. Rebecca’s mom visits for Hanukkah and makes her feel miserable. Greg visits his mom and feels miserable. Josh hates being an adult at Christmas and feels miserable. Naturally it all ends in a cheerful dance number!
Rebecca’s taking down her Christmas decorations and putting up Hanukkah ones and wearing pantyhose, because her mother is visiting. We find out that Calvin is still crying at grief group and Paula is all, “I can’t believe I almost slept with that guy.” Paula calls Rebecca “a level five mom pleaser,” which is totally true.
Naturally her mother bursts in singing and kvetching about everything about Rebecca and her home while demanding to know where the bathroom is--in song.
Rebecca’s coworkers of course make a great impression--her Secret Santa gives her pantyhose and her boss wants everyone in ugly sweaters because it’s National Ugly Christmas Sweater Day As Rebecca’s mother bitches about working with losers, Rebecca gets the bright idea to claim that no, she doesn’t work here, she just volunteers here. Her actual work is all Jewish and they’re closed for Hanukkah, all off in Israel. When Rebecca’s mother starts making demands, Rebecca begs Paula to fake being some kind of Jewish bigwig at lunch.
Rebecca claims she broke up with a Saudi prince for not converting, and then Paula shows up as a charming British Jew who hits it off with Mom big time (“I bet if you asked him for a crumpet, he would plotz.”). Hey, Paula took corporate improv class and got told to make bold choices! Though she points out secretly that “there is no lie that you tell that woman that will get her approval.”
What Rebecca’s really after is “the Garfinkel ring,” which every woman BUT Rebecca has received at age 18 and Paula refers to as the family holding onto it like a bunch of hobbits. She finds it in her mom’s purse and gets all excited. Time for presents! Rebecca bought her mother a crystal ring holder, which her mother keeps insisting is a rectal thermometer, but at least it looks expensive. Meanwhile, she got Rebecca a vase because Rebecca has no vases. She has another present, but... later, later. (Ruh-roh.)
Calvin calls on business and Rebecca’s mom gets turned on by his photo and wants to go along on their client meeting. She then embarrasses Rebecca by going on about Rebecca’s HPV at the meeting and then demands that Rebecca get Calvin to have sex with her. JEEBUS WOMAN. Even worse, Rebecca ACTUALLY ASKS HIM TO HAVE SEX WITH HER MOTHER. You know, just a hand job if you have to? While Calvin admits to being a mom pleaser himself, he’s not THAT much of a mom pleaser, and leaves. (JEEBUS CHRIST REBECCA THIS SHOULD HAVE DAMNED YOUR CAREER FOREVER EXCEPT EVERYONE IS CRAZY HERE.) Rebecca claims Calvin was willing, but she said no because he’s a client. So her mom pouts, wakes Rebecca up early, and demands to return “the rectal thermometer” on the way to the airport.
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Meanwhile, Greg is still pissed as fuck at his mother for leaving his father, remarrying someone with money and having twins. Every year he sulks about it. He also can’t recall if the twins are six or fifteen. He runs into Heather working as an elf, and she remembers him from Rebecca’s party as “You got really drunk and then slow-danced with that giant fish.” Heather perks up at the idea of Greg’s relatives having a lot of meat and wants an invite. Greg is down with that because “I’ll finally have a witness to the insanity.”
However, Greg’s mom’s family is actually quite nice. (The twins are 15, btw.) Greg is a pouting whiner and taking everything as an insult. Meanwhile, his mom is joking, “Greg, my boobs are real. Real expensive!” Heather is enjoying herself and tells off Greg. She wanted to come along because she thought Greg was cute and his family would be terrible, “but you’re terrible and they’re cute.”
Greg and his mother sort out his abandonment issues--Mom says she should have forced joint custody so he wouldn’t hate her. Heather tells him to get over himself and grow up right now. Twin bro Mason chimes in, “because she’s cool and you’re a dick.” Greg always appreciates a good honest diss and says, “That was warranted. Good call, Mason.” Greg apologizes to his mother.
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Josh is hating adult Christmas--can’t sit on Santa’s lap, have to work a double shift at Aloha Tech instead of going to Winter Wonderland, where the fake snow and fake trees are the REAL Christmas. Then he runs into some kids from the high school hip-hop dance team that he used to lead. The kid asks him if he wants to come to Winter Wonderland- but Josh can’t. “Man, adult stuff sucks.”
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Cut to Winter Wonderland, where...
* Josh has his mom call him in sick with the flu and goes to hang out with the dance team. He tells them to enjoy life now while they can, and his fanboy suddenly fakes an ankle injury so Josh can rejoin the team once again!
* Rebecca’s mom demands to know why Rebecca moved here when...
* “JOSH CHAN IS IN THE HOUSE!!!!” is announced over the loudspeaker.
* Rebecca gets fed up of trying to please her mother. Mom announces she was going to give Rebecca the Garfinkel ring and Rebecca is all, “keep it, and also I’m calling an Uber for you to go to the airport.”
* Josh does an amazing dance, including with backflips, and then realizes afterwards he needs to grow up.
* Rebecca tells the truth about Paula, her job, and pantyhose (they give her yeast infections). “I know I’m not the married work monster you need me to be, but neither are you.” Rebecca figures her mother hates her because she’s half Irish Catholic like her dad. Her mom is all, you think I hate you? I love you. Also, happy is a term for stupid people, “I want you to survive! When the Cossacks come, you can fight back!” Wow. They hug and cry and Rebecca agrees to come home for Passover.
* Greg buys his mother a pine candle and tells Heather, “Your lack of social decorum saved the holiday.” It’s a Christmas miracle! Heather has to go back to work and Greg is sad, he wanted to hang out. Heather immediately quits her job and puts the mack on Greg. Damn, girl.
* Josh and Rebecca reunite after having not seen each other all week.
Rebecca: “I finally feel what it’s like to be a grownup at Christmas!”
Josh: “Me too! Emotional jinx, you owe me a Coke!”
The entire cast dances and sings about Christmas in California! There’s a baked unemployed stunt man playing Santa, they eat eggnog froyo, “don we now our surfer apparel,” they get henna tattoos, “we’re all finding ourselves,” “we gather round and sing songs by Sublime,” all the reggae bands are white, daddy makes big bucks directing porn, and they may have gonorrhea, but at least it’s not frostbite!
Hoo boy, Rebecca’s mom is awful and Greg is kinda awful, but the ending worked. Plus, awesome song!
Rebecca’s taking down her Christmas decorations and putting up Hanukkah ones and wearing pantyhose, because her mother is visiting. We find out that Calvin is still crying at grief group and Paula is all, “I can’t believe I almost slept with that guy.” Paula calls Rebecca “a level five mom pleaser,” which is totally true.
Naturally her mother bursts in singing and kvetching about everything about Rebecca and her home while demanding to know where the bathroom is--in song.
Rebecca’s coworkers of course make a great impression--her Secret Santa gives her pantyhose and her boss wants everyone in ugly sweaters because it’s National Ugly Christmas Sweater Day As Rebecca’s mother bitches about working with losers, Rebecca gets the bright idea to claim that no, she doesn’t work here, she just volunteers here. Her actual work is all Jewish and they’re closed for Hanukkah, all off in Israel. When Rebecca’s mother starts making demands, Rebecca begs Paula to fake being some kind of Jewish bigwig at lunch.
Rebecca claims she broke up with a Saudi prince for not converting, and then Paula shows up as a charming British Jew who hits it off with Mom big time (“I bet if you asked him for a crumpet, he would plotz.”). Hey, Paula took corporate improv class and got told to make bold choices! Though she points out secretly that “there is no lie that you tell that woman that will get her approval.”
What Rebecca’s really after is “the Garfinkel ring,” which every woman BUT Rebecca has received at age 18 and Paula refers to as the family holding onto it like a bunch of hobbits. She finds it in her mom’s purse and gets all excited. Time for presents! Rebecca bought her mother a crystal ring holder, which her mother keeps insisting is a rectal thermometer, but at least it looks expensive. Meanwhile, she got Rebecca a vase because Rebecca has no vases. She has another present, but... later, later. (Ruh-roh.)
Calvin calls on business and Rebecca’s mom gets turned on by his photo and wants to go along on their client meeting. She then embarrasses Rebecca by going on about Rebecca’s HPV at the meeting and then demands that Rebecca get Calvin to have sex with her. JEEBUS WOMAN. Even worse, Rebecca ACTUALLY ASKS HIM TO HAVE SEX WITH HER MOTHER. You know, just a hand job if you have to? While Calvin admits to being a mom pleaser himself, he’s not THAT much of a mom pleaser, and leaves. (JEEBUS CHRIST REBECCA THIS SHOULD HAVE DAMNED YOUR CAREER FOREVER EXCEPT EVERYONE IS CRAZY HERE.) Rebecca claims Calvin was willing, but she said no because he’s a client. So her mom pouts, wakes Rebecca up early, and demands to return “the rectal thermometer” on the way to the airport.
---------
Meanwhile, Greg is still pissed as fuck at his mother for leaving his father, remarrying someone with money and having twins. Every year he sulks about it. He also can’t recall if the twins are six or fifteen. He runs into Heather working as an elf, and she remembers him from Rebecca’s party as “You got really drunk and then slow-danced with that giant fish.” Heather perks up at the idea of Greg’s relatives having a lot of meat and wants an invite. Greg is down with that because “I’ll finally have a witness to the insanity.”
However, Greg’s mom’s family is actually quite nice. (The twins are 15, btw.) Greg is a pouting whiner and taking everything as an insult. Meanwhile, his mom is joking, “Greg, my boobs are real. Real expensive!” Heather is enjoying herself and tells off Greg. She wanted to come along because she thought Greg was cute and his family would be terrible, “but you’re terrible and they’re cute.”
Greg and his mother sort out his abandonment issues--Mom says she should have forced joint custody so he wouldn’t hate her. Heather tells him to get over himself and grow up right now. Twin bro Mason chimes in, “because she’s cool and you’re a dick.” Greg always appreciates a good honest diss and says, “That was warranted. Good call, Mason.” Greg apologizes to his mother.
--------
Josh is hating adult Christmas--can’t sit on Santa’s lap, have to work a double shift at Aloha Tech instead of going to Winter Wonderland, where the fake snow and fake trees are the REAL Christmas. Then he runs into some kids from the high school hip-hop dance team that he used to lead. The kid asks him if he wants to come to Winter Wonderland- but Josh can’t. “Man, adult stuff sucks.”
------
Cut to Winter Wonderland, where...
* Josh has his mom call him in sick with the flu and goes to hang out with the dance team. He tells them to enjoy life now while they can, and his fanboy suddenly fakes an ankle injury so Josh can rejoin the team once again!
* Rebecca’s mom demands to know why Rebecca moved here when...
* “JOSH CHAN IS IN THE HOUSE!!!!” is announced over the loudspeaker.
* Rebecca gets fed up of trying to please her mother. Mom announces she was going to give Rebecca the Garfinkel ring and Rebecca is all, “keep it, and also I’m calling an Uber for you to go to the airport.”
* Josh does an amazing dance, including with backflips, and then realizes afterwards he needs to grow up.
* Rebecca tells the truth about Paula, her job, and pantyhose (they give her yeast infections). “I know I’m not the married work monster you need me to be, but neither are you.” Rebecca figures her mother hates her because she’s half Irish Catholic like her dad. Her mom is all, you think I hate you? I love you. Also, happy is a term for stupid people, “I want you to survive! When the Cossacks come, you can fight back!” Wow. They hug and cry and Rebecca agrees to come home for Passover.
* Greg buys his mother a pine candle and tells Heather, “Your lack of social decorum saved the holiday.” It’s a Christmas miracle! Heather has to go back to work and Greg is sad, he wanted to hang out. Heather immediately quits her job and puts the mack on Greg. Damn, girl.
* Josh and Rebecca reunite after having not seen each other all week.
Rebecca: “I finally feel what it’s like to be a grownup at Christmas!”
Josh: “Me too! Emotional jinx, you owe me a Coke!”
The entire cast dances and sings about Christmas in California! There’s a baked unemployed stunt man playing Santa, they eat eggnog froyo, “don we now our surfer apparel,” they get henna tattoos, “we’re all finding ourselves,” “we gather round and sing songs by Sublime,” all the reggae bands are white, daddy makes big bucks directing porn, and they may have gonorrhea, but at least it’s not frostbite!
Hoo boy, Rebecca’s mom is awful and Greg is kinda awful, but the ending worked. Plus, awesome song!
Rebecca: kinda cheerfully crazy, because of...
Rebecca's mom: evil
Josh: Rebecca's summer camp boyfriend that she wants back, is happy to be friends with those. Kinda one of those dudes who's a human equivalent of a golden retriever personality.
Daryl: Rebecca's boss, thinks he's Native American, getting divorced, super loves his daughter
Paula: Rebecca's new best friend, hates her marriage, lives vicariously through Rebecca
Calvin: new big shot client of the law firm, has crush on Paula (and vice versa), still mourning his dead wife
Greg: cynical bartender guy friend of Josh's who has ill-fated crush on Rebecca
Heather: Rebecca's neighbor, takes psych, likes to observe people like she's in psych class.
That's the recurring folks, everyone else was new this episode.
posted by jenfullmoon at 11:12 PM on November 30, 2015 [1 favorite]
Rebecca's mom: evil
Josh: Rebecca's summer camp boyfriend that she wants back, is happy to be friends with those. Kinda one of those dudes who's a human equivalent of a golden retriever personality.
Daryl: Rebecca's boss, thinks he's Native American, getting divorced, super loves his daughter
Paula: Rebecca's new best friend, hates her marriage, lives vicariously through Rebecca
Calvin: new big shot client of the law firm, has crush on Paula (and vice versa), still mourning his dead wife
Greg: cynical bartender guy friend of Josh's who has ill-fated crush on Rebecca
Heather: Rebecca's neighbor, takes psych, likes to observe people like she's in psych class.
That's the recurring folks, everyone else was new this episode.
posted by jenfullmoon at 11:12 PM on November 30, 2015 [1 favorite]
That last number, California Christmastime is just a couple of lines away from being put into rotation on your local adult contemporary all-Christmas-all-the-time radio station (the cancer and porn bits would have to go, but the rest would be just fine).
Didn't expect the Heather and Greg thing at all. That's an interesting twist, and I'm sure we can all expect Rebecca to wind up jealous if their relationship continues.
posted by sardonyx at 8:31 PM on December 1, 2015 [2 favorites]
Didn't expect the Heather and Greg thing at all. That's an interesting twist, and I'm sure we can all expect Rebecca to wind up jealous if their relationship continues.
posted by sardonyx at 8:31 PM on December 1, 2015 [2 favorites]
Watched all the episodes that are available on Hulu after they showed me a clip (and seeing this discussion). Really dig the show.
In related news, Rachel Bloom got nominated for a Golden Globe.
posted by drezdn at 7:37 AM on December 10, 2015
In related news, Rachel Bloom got nominated for a Golden Globe.
posted by drezdn at 7:37 AM on December 10, 2015
Man, Bella Terra? I know we saw him do the boy band thing but I was kinda surprised by Josh's moves.
posted by sweetmarie at 10:05 PM on July 8, 2016
posted by sweetmarie at 10:05 PM on July 8, 2016
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(Bob's Burgers got all their holiday cheer done early, with their Thanksgiving episode on Nov. 8, followed the next week by their Christmas episode - it was weird. Gotta clear some way for other early seasonal specials.)
posted by filthy light thief at 10:02 PM on November 30, 2015