Empire: Et Tu, Brute?
December 2, 2015 11:17 PM - Season 2, Episode 10 - Subscribe

Lucious and Rhonda get betrayed all out the wazoo. Jamal feels weird about his new sexuality. All the Lyon boyz get music nominations. Cookie returns to prison to put on a show for her true sisters.

Team Cookie: Cookie's not the happiest at the start of the episode--broken heart, lost her cookout venue, needed to get a new promoter--but she promised Pepper she'd bring some performers (Laura and Hakeem, the latter isn't super thrilled) to Family Day at Wallace Prison, so she does. She wants to chicken out, but Porsha actually does a good job of getting her to stick around, and Hakeem and Laura do the little duet they've been doing so well lately. Hakeem also gives a good speech about how he's only had his mom back a year and he doesn't know why his dad didn't bring him to prison. Oh yeah, and somehow it's streaming from prison like Johnny Cash. Well, like he would have had he been a lot younger, anyway. And alive.

Cookie's also wanting to reconnect wtih her old pal Jezzy (Cookie promised to get her a record deal), who's both mad Cookie doesn't write AND somehow got herself a life sentence for going after her cellie over toothpaste. Because priorities? Jezzy claims she's innocent, btw. Anyway, Cookie's too preoccupied with this to show up for the big vote (see below), so she gives Hakeem her proxy. Ruh-roh.

Team Jamal: Jamal's having a good week: the Pepsi ad goes live, he gets nominated for several songs at the ASA Awards, which has THE LONGEST ALL DAY FUCKING LONG NOMINATION PROCESS, btw. Jamal is nominated a few times for "Heavy," the "Ain't About The Money" duet with Hakeem, and one of his noms is Song of the Year along with Lucious' "Boom Boom Boom Boom." SO THAT'LL GO WELL. He also does his duet with Skye and we find out that yes, they did hook up once. (Lucious, alas, walks in after and is basically all "You're cured!") However, some dude emceeing the ASA's (Charlemagne) starts calling Skye out all like, "Oh, so now you're black now?" She's biracial, thanks. Then Charlemagne starts bitching about how nobody can be two things, and Jamal is super uncomfortable when called out on his gayness, and neither he nor Skye can say shit in that moment. (She asks why he didn't defend her, but he got nothing.)

It doesn't help that that Jamieson guy is around again wanting to do some spread on Jamal's gayness or whatever. He gets some awesome scores against Lucious though (see below). Anyway, Skye and Jamal agree it was a one time thing, she doesn't want to change him, that's cool. "You wouldn't feel about a woman the way you felt about...what's his name again?!" I died laughing.

Team Hakeem: Hakeem only gets one nomination this year (see above) and Freda Gatz gets nominated for best rapper instead of him. WHAT? Since when does Freda even have an album? Tiana had to announce it and she sounded super shocked. Clearly Lucious must be rigging nominations. Anyway, on the good side, Hakeem does well at the prison. On the not so good side.... well, see below. He gets a surprise visit by Camilla, who has a suspicious ring on her finger (it's not what it looks like, she says) and says his parents are lying to him. Hakeem is all hurt she left still anyway.

Team Lucious: Lucious and Mimi are chatting about the board while Mimi conspicuously points a secret recorder pen at him. She says boards don't like risks like leveraging parts of your empire off, and he is all, I will do whatever the fuck I want, fuck the board, I'm kicking off anyone who's not with me. Then he's all, "Is you is or is you ain't my Mimi?" Say whaaaat? She learns something new every day. Anyway, Mimi announces that her wife is flying in from Europe and Mimi herself is going to take off to Canyon Ranch for follow up cancer treatments.

Lucious is generally smug at the ASAs, though he bitches that R&B is a category designed to placate black people and Song of the Year is the only one that counts. "Isn't that the one award you were never nominated for?" Jamieson remarks. YOU SCORE, SIR. Second go regarding Jamal: "You set a high bar, but he cleared it. Isn't that every parent's dream?" Alas, Lucious can get him back later by referring to Jamal's new girlfriend. "He didn't tell you? Oops. I got a big mouth."

Lucious makes his announcement about Swiftstream, and then Mimi makes hers: hey, wanna meet my wife, my reason to live? "MRS. CAMILLA MARKS WHITEMAN." Oh, just watch Lucious's face as he remembers Hakeem's old girlfriend. BWHAHAHAHAHAH THIS CANNOT GO WELL FOR YOU. And sure 'nuff, it does not, as Mimi plays her pen at the next board meeting and then moves to remove Lucious. Emergency vote at 9! The Lyon boys try to get someone on their side. There is a white cowboy named "Tricky" they approach, which screws with my head because we now have a Tricky and a Thirsty. AND SPEAKING OF, THIRSTY GOES DOWN ON EDNA THE BOARD MEMBER IN AN ELEVATOR. And then she has THE best line of the episode. "Honey, it was good, but it wasn't ten million dollars good." I LOVE YOU EDNA. That's about the best line since "I'll have what she's having."

Anyway, in the board meeting, Hakeem thinks of everything his father has done to piss him off lately--which is a lot of shit--and is the deciding vote to get his father kicked out of his own company. Mimi smugly turns the company over to Camilla while she's doing chemo. Cookie runs in too late and spits very dramatically in Camilla's face.

Lucious goes home and shoots up his cabinet. Yeah, IN HIS OWN HOUSE WITH OTHER PEOPLE IN IT, HE'S SHOOTING AT THE WALLS WITH A RIFLE. Cookie manages to talk him down with the gun, but he's crying and he's kinda got a point to his rage. "The enormity of damage I've done to my soul, for what?" and Cookie sacrificed 17 years for what? Cookie points out they still have majority shares, he and Jamal are still on the label, and there's still two other kids in the house right now (don't remind him of #3). Cookie and Lucious hug, while he says, "I want him dead." You don't mean that, Cookie says. WE KNOW HE DOES.

But hey, song nomination...against Jamal. Lucious is all, "ain't that a bitch?" and looks like he's about to rip another son a new hole.

Team Rhondre: And here's the worst part of the episode: Anika comes over to give Rhonda some baby gift, and we notice that (a) there's no phone in the nursery and (b) their security alarm is going off a lot. Oh yeah, and Rhonda makes the mistake of mentioning Lucious bragging about their baby as "the heir," which makes Anika laugh hysterically.

By the end of the episode, SOMEONE (gee, I wonder who) has broken in and shoved Rhonda down the stairs, most violently. We all know what that means. Andre calls home and nobody responds.

Fashion Corner: Rhonda's pregnancy pajamas and Mimi's standout gold "I'm stealing your company" ensemble are best this episode, as Cookie is sticking to somber tight black glitter. Porsha's 'hawk is red this week and I think her shirt says "killin' it?" Oh lord, and Tiana's wearing a spiky boob top while singing about being touched (ow) while guys on PhunkeeDucks are "dancing" around her at the ASA's. This is a thing now?

Quote Corner:
"I"m still gay, all right, so don't get...weird."--Jamal to Lucious, who promptly gets weird.
"You're a grand master, Lucious." --Mimi
"Freda Gatz?!?" =-Tiana and everyone else
"So Rico Suave's not cleaning your pool any more." --Lucious
"You just picked the wrong day to be black." --Lucious to Skye, super helpful
Porsha does not do ladies, she only does hot dogs, sausages...I forget the third one, kielbasas? Polish dogs?
Oh, some woman actually LIKES "Drip Drop."
"Lyon Dynasty is our company, but Empire is our legacy and anyone who tries to steal it from us is our enemy." --Cookie

And sadly, Empire is gone until March. MARCH! Wah! What shall I do until then....uh, probably go to the things I have been cutting to watch this show, I guess. See y'all later!
posted by jenfullmoon (2 comments total)
The whole Camilla-returns-as-Mimi's-wife thing would have been better if they hadn't shown her in the "next time" bumper and all the ads this week. Still so awesome.

Thanks jenfullmoon! As always, killer on the recaps!
posted by mon-ma-tron at 9:27 AM on December 5, 2015

48 HOURS ! ! ! !
posted by mon-ma-tron at 6:12 PM on March 28, 2016

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