Just a thought for people who enjoy reading horror like I do. [more inside]
An unlikely partnership between a Highway Patrol Officer, two criminals and a station secretary is formed to defend a defunct Los Angeles precinct office against a siege by a bloodthirsty street gang. [more inside]
Carrie White, a shy, friendless teenage girl who is sheltered by her domineering, religious mother, unleashes her telekinetic powers after being humiliated by her classmates at her senior prom. [more inside]
Mystery Science Theater 3000: SQUIRM Season 10, Ep 12
"This was the night of the CRAWLING TERROR!" I have one more useful science factoid to teach you: if you run an electrical current through an earthworm, it'll become an aggressive monster and crave human flesh! But only while the current is running. This movie helpfully shows us the lethal consequences of downed power lines, which result in the depopulation of a small town. But it's a Georgia town, so, no worries. With the short A Case of Spring Fever: A film that warns us, for the sake of all mankind, to guard our tongues! Say no careless words in wishing for the absence of any petty thing that annoys you, for there may be an omnipotent spirit listening, and waiting, willing, even eager, to remove all those things from the universe just to spite you personally. To think of all the things our world has lost, all because some schmuck decided to say aloud he was annoyed with, say, immortality this week. One more film about unpleasant people in the South. Notable for containing the phrase, "You gonna be da worm face now!" The episode contains MST3K's last short, and it's one of the best. Episode 1012 is available on YouTube. Premiered August 1, 1999. One episode left. [more inside]
Ash vs Evil Dead: The Mettle of Man Season 3, Ep 10
As the power of the Evil Dead sweeps the globe, Ash prepares to meet his destiny. Series finale.
Mystery Science Theater 3000: HORRORS OF SPIDER ISLAND Season 10, Ep 11
AKA Ein Toter hing im Netz or "Body in the Web." "HAIR-RAISING! SPINE-CHILLING! One bite from a giant spider turned him into THE WORLD'S MOST HIDEOUS MONSTER with a diabolical lust to KILL!" Our movie starts out with guys hiring exotic dancers to send to Singapore, their natural habitat. The contents of the plane are so sexy that it crashes into the ocean. All passengers survive somehow and wash ashore on an uncharted desert isle. The girls celebrate by taking off all their clothes, except of course for their skin-colored bodysuits because we can't have anything risque. Then: SPIDERS! Maybe the writers were having an off week, or maybe news of the show's impending cancellation had affected them, but fans don't consider this episode a favorite. We shall enjoy it all the same. In host segments, Pearl moves her castle to the suburbs for a couple of hours. Episode 1011 is available on YouTube. Premiered July 25, 1999. Two episodes left. [more inside]
Ash vs Evil Dead: Judgment Day Season 3, Ep 9
Ash leaves the boomstick at home with Brandy and launches himself into a final confrontation with Ruby and the creature who's stolen Kelly's body.
A group of college kids on Spring Break in Mexico are initiated into a deadly game of Truth or Dare.
Mystery Science Theater 3000: IT LIVES BY NIGHT Season 10, Ep 10
a.k.a. The Bat People. "No matter how hard you pray or how loud you scream there is no escape... no escape... no escape... no escape..." A guy on a research honeymoon gets bitten by a bat and starts transforming into some kind of... bat... person as a result, sure that happens. Look out for the special surprise ending where we find out bat-person-osis is also an STD. Pearl has fun mutating the SOL crew, and Tom Servo has way too big of a mustache. An okay episode. Episode 1010 is available on YouTube. Premiered July 18, 1999. Three episodes left. [more inside]
A young group of monster fanatics attempt to save their hometown from Count Dracula and his monsters. [more inside]
Ash vs Evil Dead: Rifting Apart Season 3, Ep 8
With Kelly and Brandy trapped on the wrong side of death itself, Ash and Pablo come up with the worst plan possible to get them back. Well...it's more like the idea of a plan.
An unfaithful wife encounters the zombie of her dead lover; the demonic cenobites are pursuing him after he escaped their sadomasochistic underworld. [more inside]
Years after the strange drowning death of her father, Tina Shepard (Lar Park Lincoln) returns to the site of his demise, Crystal Lake. Her developing psychic powers were responsible for ending his life, leaving Tina riddled with guilt as an adult. While deceitful Dr. Crews (Terry Kiser) tries to manipulate her abilities for his own ends, both physician and patient are in for a shock when Tina's powers unwittingly free camper-killer Jason Voorhees from his watery slumber. [more inside]
The Alienist: Castle in the Sky Season 1, Ep 10
Laszlo confronts the demons of his past; John tells Sara the truth; Connor takes matters into his own hands; and the team closes in on the killer.
The Alienist: Requiem Season 1, Ep 9
Laszlo mourns the loss of a friend; Sara pushes the team to forge ahead; John warns his friend the killer will strike again; Cyrus seeks revenge.
The Alienist: Psychopathia Sexualis Season 1, Ep 8
Laszlo and John travel to Washington, D.C.; Sara goes rogue in pursuit of the truth; Lucius tells Marcus a secret; Byrnes and Connor tighten their grip on the investigation.
A scientist sends a man with extraordinary psychic powers to hunt others like him. [more inside]
The Alienist: Many Sainted Men Season 1, Ep 7
Laszlo and John follow a lead; Sara visits a hospital and is forced to confront her past; Cyrus recovers from his injuries; Byrnes and Connor plot against the team; Marcus and Lucius follow up on a clue.
A nerdy florist finds his chance for success and romance with the help of a giant man-eating plant who demands to be fed. [more inside]
Ash vs Evil Dead: Twist and Shout Season 3, Ep 7
Ruby's plan reaches its culmination, Pablo receives a message from beyond, and Ash crashes Brandy's high school dance (twice).
The Alienist: Ascension Season 1, Ep 6
The team hatches a plan to catch the killer; John checks in on a friend; Laszlo faces his own self-doubt about the investigation; Roosevelt attends an event with the city's elite; Sara looks into Laszlo's past; Captain Connor acts on impulse.
Another year, another Friday the 13th. Next Friday (the 13th, uh) we* will be continuing the Friday the 13th movie club with a discussion of the 7th film, The New Blood. [more inside]
Atlanta: Teddy Perkins Season 2, Ep 6
Darius is trippin in this one. Y'all know I woulda been left. [Official synopsis] Darius went to pick up a multicolored key piano that someone posted on a biohacking message board, saying their boss was trying to get rid of it, free of charge. Featuring Theodore Perkins as himself*. [more inside]
Five friends travel to a cabin in the woods, where they unknowingly release flesh-possessing demons. [more inside]
Ash vs Evil Dead: Tales from the Rift Season 3, Ep 6
Kelly hunts down Ruby, the Knights of Sumeria continue to be no help at all, and Brandy cooks breakfast.
It's showtime! In Tim Burton's second feature film as a director, the recently deceased Maitlands (Alec Baldwin and Geena Davis) find the house they hoped they'd haunt together forever bought and hideously renovated by avant-garde artist Delia Deetz (Catherine O'Hara), her developer husband Charles (Jeffrey Jones), and gothy daughter Lydia (Winona Ryder). Unable to rid themselves of the intruders, they turn to a "bioexorcist"... the obnoxious, outrageous Betelgeuse (Michael Keaton). But once they agree to hire him, things are going out of control fast! [more inside]
Mystery Science Theater 3000: TRACK OF THE MOON BEAST Season 10, Ep 7
"The Riding Moon Creates a Monster" From the depths of space comes a meteor, which konks a guy in the head, causing the most logical thing to happen: sometimes he turns into a lizard and kills people. A fun episode, generally enjoyed by the three main fansites we track. The movie, which contains a character named Johnny Longbow, was actually co-written by Batman co-creator Bill Finger. Episode 1007 is available on YouTube. Premiered June 13, 1999. Six episodes left. [more inside]
Four weeks after a mysterious, incurable virus spreads throughout the UK, a handful of survivors try to find sanctuary. [more inside]
Ash vs Evil Dead: Baby Proof Season 3, Ep 5
Ash fights a baby. Kelly and Brandy battle a demon-possessed Pablo. Pablo must make a crucial choice, but he gets a little distracted.
A young governess for two children becomes convinced that the house and grounds are haunted. [more inside]
Ash vs Evil Dead: Unfinished Business Season 3, Ep 4
The Knights of Sumeria are so useless. Oh my God.
A loan officer who evicts an old woman from her home finds herself the recipient of a supernatural curse. Desperate, she turns to a seer to try and save her soul, while evil forces work to push her to a breaking point. [more inside]
Mystery Science Theater 3000: BLOOD WATERS OF DR. Z Season 10, Ep 5
a.k.a. Zaat. "Is The Monster Man...Fish...Or Devil?" "It Would Take An Atom Bomb To Wipe Out The Walking Catfish!" "WARNING! Positively no one admitted during last 15 minutes!" Sargassum! After a short, nonsensical narration of an aquarium, a scientist charts on his gigantic circular day-planner his revenge on the scientific establishment, and the world that shunned his ideas, by turning himself into a monster that he calls (but isn't) a fish, then sets about making himself a fishy mate, while very southern authorities try to stop him. We've been through some adventures, haven't we? Well here's one more, the last of what I'd call the extreme pain category of episodes. Great host segments in this one! This episode is available to watch on YouTube. Premiered June 27, 1998. Eight episodes left. [more inside]
Ash vs Evil Dead: Apparently Dead Season 3, Ep 3
Ruby uses her maternal instincts (and some creepy blood-and-bug sorcery) to drive a deeper wedge between Ash and Brandy.
A shy student trying to reach his family in Ohio, a gun-toting tough guy trying to find the last Twinkie, and a pair of sisters trying to get to an amusement park join forces to travel across a zombie-filled America. [more inside]
A man decides to turn his moribund life around by winning back his ex-girlfriend, reconciling his relationship with his mother, and dealing with an entire community that has returned from the dead to eat the living. [more inside]
Ash vs Evil Dead: Booth Three Season 3, Ep 2
The Evil Dead have it in for Ash's "seed," but is Brandy the only little Williams out there? Ash investigates the possibility of further progeny, and finds himself in a sticky situation.
Mystery Science Theater 3000: MERLIN'S SHOP OF MYSTICAL WONDERS Season 10, Ep 3
"In a world where magic truly exists, anything can happen." What if... someone made a movie like The Princess Bride, except instead of Peter Falk he could only get Ernest Borgnine, and instead of a charming and witty tale he had two mediocre made-for-TV fantasy-horror movies, and the kid instead of going to sleep with dreams of high adventure and romance was instead left with nightmares of demonic familiars and cursed deadly toy monkeys? In a world where schlock truly exists anything can happen. I love this one, it's all so bizarre and inexplicable. It's easy to make fun of Ernest Borgnine (hell, I do it too) but he had a long career and seemed like a good guy. In subplot land Pearl performs an experiment on Mike and co. for the Mad Science accreditation board. Taste the rainbow of fruit pain! Merlin's Shop of Mystical Wonders is available on YouTube. Premiered September 12, 1999. By the way: this was the last new episode of MST3K to appear on the Sci-Fi channel, actually showing after the series conclusion. Ten episodes left. [more inside]
A half-vampire, half-mortal man becomes a protector of the mortal race, while slaying evil vampires. [more inside]
Ash vs Evil Dead: Family Season 3, Ep 1
After scouring the earth of the Deadites last season, Ash opens a hardware store-slash-sex toy emporium in his old hometown and settles in to enjoy the good life. The Evil Dead are back before the end of the cold open. I mean, look, it's in the title. [more inside]
Requiem: Matilda Season 1, Ep 1
Cellist Matilda Grey finds a box at her mother's house containing press cuttings regarding the disappearance of a little girl, Carys Howell, twenty-four years earlier in the Welsh village of Penllynith. Accompanied by her friend Hal Fine she travels to the village to unravel the threads of her past. [more inside]
A spy begins a difficult breakup with his wife in West Berlin, in this hard-to-categorise horror / psychological thriller / drama. This cult French-German "video nasty" was Andrzej Żuławski's only English-Language film, and stars Isabelle Adjani, who won several awards for the role - including Best Actress at Cannes - along with a young Sam Neill. [more inside]
A group of college friends reunite for a trip to the forest, but encounter a menacing presence in the woods that's stalking them.
Mystery Science Theater 3000: DEVIL FISH Season 9, Ep 11
"Sink your teeth into pure terror." "Wave goodbye..." Good luck making sense of this horribly-edited movie. A fish (with tentacles somehow) is terrorizing some folk, was made by a villain, and others are trying to stop them. There's some sex in there I think too. Pearl rents the castle out as a cruise ship (what) and Mike twice incurs the wrath of the Space Dolphin empire (what). In a host segment, Crow muses about combining a shark with an octopus, making him technically the ultimate origin of the movie Sharktopus. Thanks a heap, 'bot. Promo The episode itself doesn't appear to be on YouTube. Premiered August 15, 1998. 15 episodes left. [more inside]
DDLC is a perfectly normal visual novel dating sim about the high school literature club, where you write poems and meet four cute girls. Sayori, Natsuki, Yuri, and, of course, Monika. Content warnings.
Mystery Science Theater 3000: THE TOUCH OF SATAN Season 9, Ep 8
"'The Touch of Satan' makes 'Rosemary's Baby' look like a Sunday school picnic!" - LA Free Press A guy falls in love with a weird gal who enchants him by telling him, of a lake, "This is where the fish lives!" Unfortuately, it turns out she's an actual enchantress, that is to say a witch, in turn to say Of The Devil, aka Gorgo and Mormo, and her gramma's both her sister and a murderer, or, as one character terms them, "fromakidal maniacs." Yet another movie not to expect a happy ending from. This is the episode where "Deadly" Beez McKeever babysits Observer (who she calls "Brian") and Bobo (who she thinks is a dog), in some particularly beloved host segments. YouTube (1h32m) Premiered July 11, 1998. 18 episodes left. Zaa! [more inside]
Mystery Science Theater 3000: HOBGOBLINS Season 9, Ep 7
Warning: HOBGOBLINS - May Cause Blindness and Death Boy, that sure is a bad movie, won't you? It sure is, you know! An old guy spends his whole life working as a security guard for an old film studio just to prevent other security guards from unleashing the evil plush toys that live in one of its vaults. He is terrible at this. The "Hobgoblins" get loose, and it's up to a straight-laced new recruit and his upsettingly horny friends to save the world, and themselves, from their hallucinatory, fantasy-granting powers. Of all the movie types we've seen on our tour through the Mystery Science Theater, among them gray 50s sci-fi, brutal biker movies, an Orwellian children's film, post-apocalyptic warrior fightan, barely-clad pepla and vibrant Soviet fantasy, comes a new category: wannabe sex farce/horror. The result is unquestionably another one of the worst movies MST ever did, and yet pretty recent for that. What can you do with those Hobgoblins? Here comes one now! Watch out, you little doodad! YouTube (1h32m) Premiered June 27, 1998. 19 episodes left. [more inside]
Steven, a charismatic surgeon, is forced to make an unthinkable sacrifice after his life starts to fall apart, when the behavior of a teenage boy he has taken under his wing turns sinister. [more inside]
Mystery Science Theater 3000: THE SPACE CHILDREN Season 9, Ep 6
Kids serve the telepathic bidding of a Blob from Space to sabotage military weapons. The twist: the Blob is a good guy! With short Century 21 Calling: At the Seattle World's Fair, everyone is excited about PHONES. You'll be able to record frequently-called numbers onto little plastic cards! An uncommonly ridiculous movie and short combo. Warning: contains Uncle Fester in shorts! This is another episode that's not on DVD, and probably never will be. Vimeo (1h32m) Premiered June 13, 1998. 20 episodes left. [more inside]
Mystery Science Theater 3000: THE DEADLY BEES Season 9, Ep 5
"hives of horror! Excited by the smell of fear they inflict their fatal stings!" A British singer collapses on television and is sent to the countryside to recuperate. I guess she shouldn't have used AirB&B. Also apparently the British take forever to investigate anything. This episode is infamously unavailable commercially by any means, not YouTube, DVD, Video on Demand or streaming; it's one of those final few episodes where the copyright owners seem almost affronted at the temerity of that Midwest puppet show at making fun of their movie and have refused to license it for release. In subplot news, the other Observers are back and try to take Brain Guy away. Pearl and Bobo's attempts at getting him to stay is as close to touching as this deeply ridiculous show ever gets. Premiered May 9, 1998. 21 episodes left. (guy with bowler hat appears mysteriously, nods, and walks off into distance) [more inside]