FanFare

Rewatch! A plane crashes onto the titular island carrying a cargo consisting mostly of bikini girls. You can probably guess how the proceedings go from there. Previously.
posted by JHarris on Nov 3, 2022 - 2 comments

Rewatch! A guy is bitten by a bat and begins to turn into a creature with bat aspects. Batspects. We're nearly at the end of the classic series again, just three more episodes after this one. Previously.
posted by JHarris on Oct 26, 2022 - 4 comments

Rewatch! Yet another guy named Paul turns into a monster in this movie; it's the fourth such movie in MST's history! The others are The Crawling Hand, The Projected Man and Werewolf. Note that Cry Wilderness is not included, the Paul in that movie is just friends with a monster. Anyway, the episode is not on many best-of lists, but it's generally fondly remembered. Previously.
posted by JHarris on Oct 6, 2022 - 7 comments

Rewatch! I thought this one had come up in the list of best-of episodes, but apparently not, so it's only this film's second time on MST Club. "Sargassum... WEED of DECEIT!" A deeply odd movie. Also called Zaat, the movie has a fansite that's still online. Come see a man declare his love for a fish. Previously.
posted by JHarris on Sep 22, 2022 - 1 comment

Trapped on her family's isolated farm, Pearl (Mia Goth, who also co-wrote with director Ti West) must tend to her ailing father under the bitter and overbearing watch of her devout mother. Lusting for a glamorous life like she's seen in the movies, Pearl finds her ambitions, temptations, and repressions all colliding in this stunning, technicolor-inspired prequel to 2022's horror hit X. [more inside]
posted by DirtyOldTown on Sep 15, 2022 - 13 comments

Re-rewatch! A kid is bored, so his grandfather tells him tales of wonder to entertain him. But the grandpa is Ernest Borgnine, and he tells the kid about Merlin setting up shop in a strip mall and sourcing dangerous magic items to the suburbian public. Starting to see why King Arthur had problems. This is another classic episode from the last season of the classic series. Previously and again.
posted by JHarris on Sep 7, 2022 - 4 comments

Re-rewatch! Dumb teens are killed automotively and their souls spend the rest of the movie running from Joe Estevez, last seen in Werewolf. We begin the last season of Era 2 of the show with a fun episode with visits from TV's Frank and Joel! Previously and again.
posted by JHarris on Aug 25, 2022 - 1 comment

Rewatch! A guy gaslights his new wife into believing the spirit of his previous wife is haunting her, as part of a scheme to drive her crazy and take her money. Oh joy. There's a great short though, the Gumby cartoon Robot Rumpus! Previously.
posted by JHarris on Aug 10, 2022 - 4 comments

Rewatch! A bit of a sleeper, it's the story of a young drifter who falls in love with a lady he meets by a lake who tells him, "this is where the fish lives." Being kind of dim, he immediately falls in love with her, and, surprise!, she's a Satan follower. Not in the sense of being a cultist, she just sort of "is" one. The fish does not appear to enter into it. She's over a hundred but looks young; her murderous sister is over a hundred and looks older. There's a couple of people they stay with who I think also have the mangoat on their contact lists, although in an even more vague way than the knower of fish residence. An odd movie. Previously.
posted by JHarris on Jul 14, 2022 - 12 comments

Re-rewatch! "It's the 80s; do a lot of coke and vote for Ronald Reagan!" "Meet the Hobgoblins: Frankie, Sniffles, Bounce-Bounce, and The Claw!" "Paint my muscle car prune color, please!" "Wow this is a really well planned-out make-out spot. They must get public funding." "I would not want Pig Liquor." "Watch out, you little doodad!" Really, what can you do with those hobgoblins? Previously and again.
posted by JHarris on Jul 7, 2022 - 8 comments

Rewatch! Dr. Vorelli is a real piece of work. He's a sinister hypnotist who performs on stage in front of audiences, but seems to hate it. He hates puppets but has one in his act. But it turns out the puppet is actually a person who's mind he's put into a ventriloquist dummy somehow. He taunts him mercilessly for some reason, dangling hopes of forbidden ham before him. It's not clear why. I guess evil is its own reward? On and about the SOL, Pearl and company are still in Roman times, looking for Bobo. Previously.
posted by JHarris on Apr 21, 2022 - 2 comments

Re-rewatch! Monsters created by radiation lumber ashore to attack the population of old teenagers. Their savior? As always, the magic metal: SODIUM. Previously and again.
posted by JHarris on Apr 14, 2022 - 0 comments

Rewatch! Ray Dennis Steckler, a.k.a. "Cash Flagg," was one of the more infamous Z-list Hollywood directors, and he was responsible for this film, which is something. A guy gets hypno'd by a carnival fortune teller into becoming an insane killer. The fortune teller's assistant Ortega is a sight, and immediately became the Torgo of the Sci-Fi Channel era of MST3K. Lots of the movie is just time spent watching bad performances on-stage at the carnival, pointless and unabridged. This movie is one of the worst in the show's history. Previously. [more inside]
posted by JHarris on Mar 10, 2022 - 2 comments

a.k.a. Santo en el tesoro de Drácula, Santo and Dracula's Treasure. "A COLORES!" El Santo, the Silver Mask, is a luchador who likes to dabble both in Super Science and the supernatural. He's invented a time machine that sends a young woman back into a past life, which was turned into a vampire by Dracula, while he watches. But never mind the infernal terror, El Santo learns about the great treasure of Dracula's family, and he wants a piece! But so does the mob! There's a lot of movies in this movie. The episode is missing ending credits, and way a bit marred by technical difficulties, but it was shown last night, and was pretty good! Kinga and Max escape the storage room of Moon 13 by exploding it, causing a cave-in. So they're currently set up on Moon 1, on the lunar surface, and opening Kinga's newest venture, the Kingadome. It contains the Gizmoplex, which in the show's lore is a physical place, but it's also the website the episode can be viewed by backers of last year's Kickstarter, here. A more general release will come in May. [more inside]
posted by JHarris on Mar 5, 2022 - 17 comments

Rewatch! Oh this one's rich. Buried in a box somewhere in the old west is an Evil Head. A psychically sensitive young woman finds it and immediately becomes its mind-controlled minion, and about 50% sluttier because we all know Evil Heads yearn to possess young women so that they can get it on by proxy. Eventually it manipulates the other people on the dude ranch (they have about 100 head of dude) to uncover the rest of its body and reunite the two, which seal together making it whole sure why not. Sadly, it then is knocked over and re-croaks, this time permanently, about 20 seconds later. So much for the power of evil. In the words of Paul Chaplin: "Alternate title: The Thing That Died." In the subplot, it's Observer Time. Previously.
posted by JHarris on Jan 20, 2022 - 6 comments

Rewatch! A big frozen bug from prehistory is thawed out and begins eating people. They swat it with a jet plane. This is the last episode with Deep Ape, and begins the "chase" subplot that lasts most of the rest of the season. Previously.
posted by JHarris on Jan 13, 2022 - 1 comment

Rewatch! A married couple h-a-t-e each other, but the guy's hate diminishes when he discovers he can make his wife young again with special magic neck juice supplied by an African lady. They go to Africa to get more and, well, things deteriorate. Concerning the show's "story arc," the SOL is still in orbit above Deep Ape. There's only four Deep Ape episodes and this is the second one. Previously.
posted by JHarris on Dec 16, 2021 - 7 comments

Rewatch! The creature from the Black Lagoon is put in a marine park for people to gawk at, until he escapes and causes immense danger. Great job, guys! And hey, it's Clint Eastwood's first movie! As for the show, it's been a few months and a different channel in real time, and 500 years in narrative time. The SOL is now orbiting a planet of apes, although Pearl is also there, and she's continuing the experiment for some reason. Also, Crow's different. Previously.
posted by JHarris on Dec 9, 2021 - 0 comments

Rewatch! One of MST3K's Double Adjective Man movies, the others being The Amazing Colossal Man, Teenage Cave Man and Amazing Transparent Man. (There's also Indestructable Man, The Brute Man, The Projected Man and, of course, The Pumaman.) An astronaut returns to Earth and is affected by something that makes him kill people, kind of like a slightly more competent Monster A-Go-Go. In the host segments, Crow shepherds his movie Earth Vs. Soup to completion and through focus groups, a sequence inspired in no small part by Best Brains' experiences in getting MST3K The Movie made. Previously.
posted by JHarris on Nov 11, 2021 - 4 comments

Rewatch! Rondo Hatton is The Creeper, a deformed killer who wants to do something good, and so steals money to help a blind girl, but ends up killing people anyway. Hatton had acromegaly from chemical warfare suffered in World War I, which he managed to use to establish a career in Hollywood as "The Creeper" in a series of movies, but also killed him shortly after The Brute Man was made. Tragedy surrounds us. But there's also a short promising all the wonder and joy and relief from suffering that the future surely has in store for us: The Chicken of Tomorrow! Oh? Oh. Previously.
posted by JHarris on Oct 28, 2021 - 3 comments

Rewatch! A dead astronaut comes back down to Earth, not-dead but infested by aliens who plan to use his body as a spearhead to invade Earth. Is it just me or is that a weird plan? Also with a short, Once Upon A Honeymoon, which naturally has to do with telephones. We re-enter the series after The Movie, without Frank and now with new regular Pearl Forrester. It's the beginning of Season 7, only six episodes long and the last hurrah of the show on Comedy Central. Previously.
posted by JHarris on Oct 21, 2021 - 3 comments

Rewatch! What awaits us after we die? If this movie is to be believed, we end up inside little rings such as the kind Sonic the Hedgehog collects, ferried back and forth through the afterlife by glorified deliverymen in black suits, overseen by the fearsomely-chinned Robert Z'Dar. A classic Season 10 episode, both for the ridiculous movie and for cameo appearances by both TV's Frank and Joel Hodgson, last seen in 624 and 512 respectively. Previously.
posted by JHarris on Sep 5, 2019 - 8 comments

Rewatch! Considering the political reality of the USA right now, this movie's almost charming with how the villain is an evil Senator's brother, who runs a farm for stupid 70s people, clones of "important" folk, you know, like senators, to serve as living sources of spare body parts. Especially hilarious is the pseudo-Orwellian culture of the farm, which is like a sinister community college. Previously
posted by JHarris on Jul 18, 2019 - 4 comments

Rewatch! Plush toys with the ability to make people's fantasies a reality encounter some teenagers with severe issues, and the result is supposed to be a comedy. You knew it was coming. Any list of the best MST episodes invariably covers most of the worst movies, meaning we're back here again, at the extremely 80s, extraordinarily tawdry film (in the sense of being an oily coating) known to those unfortunate enough to have experienced it as HOBGOBLINS. To watch it is to feel like your brain is floating in a tub of slime: enjoy! Previously
posted by JHarris on Jul 11, 2019 - 5 comments

Shocking terror! Hideous and ridiculous monsters crawl out of the sea! "It had ping-pong balls for eyes!" shrieked one overacting eyewitness! Another moaned unconvincingly, "Oh the carnage, the bad costumes, the poor cinematography!" Will no one put a stop to the atrocities committed by this director and his crew? In subplot news, Pearl and Brain Guy are in ancient Rome. Previously.
posted by JHarris on Jan 31, 2019 - 7 comments