Abbott Elementary: Fundraising
January 20, 2023 11:03 PM - Season 2, Episode 13 - Subscribe

It's fundraising time to take kids to the museum.

Look, Ava may make a lot of terrible jokes ("Bruce Banner in the middle of a transformation"), but when she already had those pants ready in her desk drawer and immediately handed them to the kid who grew too tall for his current ones, I was kvelling. THAT IS SO SWEET, WHO WOULDA THUNK....and then she's all, "Polio IS back!" And then I felt for her when she said she wanted to make sure the kids could take care of themselves. "And what you call scamming, got me by. And look at me now, I own a school." Ava, WOMAN OF CONTRADICTIONS.

Oh my, Malika's fall followed by the candy sale... DAMN GIRL.

"YOU ARE LUCKY GOD STILL NEEDS PEOPLE TO FORGIVE" is quite a burn, Barbara. Also, "the principal RUNS the school, not OWNS the school."

Predictably, Janine is gonna date Maurice from the hookah bar, so here comes another revolving door love interest. Though he seems nice, I suppose. Nice smile. Laughs a lot (literally, on voice mail). How long is he gonna last, who cares, I guess. He seems to have survived watching her eat ribs, at least.

"Awww, disposable income!" -Melissa

"THE PLOT THICKENS," says the janitor, petting the cat ominously.
posted by jenfullmoon (8 comments total) 2 users marked this as a favorite
I love a random cat b plot. Hope you enjoyed your adventure, Milton/Cinnamon Cupcake. Mr. Johnson and Jacob trying to navigate co-parenting was hilarious (cats are not pescatarian Jacob, heh), and I enjoyed Melissa getting to use her mediation/arbitration skills - "the ex and I settled custody of our Phillies season tickets out of court like adults"

The whole children fundraising industry is skeevy as hell, so I can't really fault Ava's approach. I would let girl scouts upcharge me for cookies, no problem. Sheryl Lee Ralph's morally disapproving faces this episode were great.
posted by the primroses were over at 6:13 AM on January 21 [1 favorite]

The whole children fundraising industry is skeevy as hell, so I can't really fault Ava's approach. I would let girl scouts upcharge me for cookies, no problem.

Yeah, no one is buying $2 worth of chocolate from a kid with a box of candy bars. That's the deal. Everyone knows it.
posted by Etrigan at 3:04 PM on January 21 [1 favorite]

I hated selling shit for school. Almost never was anyone offering anything anyone actually wanted (except the brief year where they sold wrapping paper). It's not like those chocolate bars are Girl Scout cookies or anything good. You're basically guilting people into buying shit they don't want for the good of the school and guilting the kids if they can't guilt enough people into doing it (something I neither could do nor particularly wanted to do) and turning it into a competition to put pressure on everyone.
posted by jenfullmoon at 4:57 PM on January 21

Those candy bars were a dollar when I was selling them in 1995. Something is amiss.
posted by obfuscation at 12:37 PM on January 22 [1 favorite]

They are a LOT smaller now.
posted by absalom at 8:06 PM on January 22

The whole scene of Jacob figuring out that Gregory has a crush on Janine took me out.

Tyler James Williams could do an entire Masterclass on just "glance into camera wearily".
posted by Etrigan at 7:53 AM on January 23 [4 favorites]

I'm not expecting Maurice to be around long, or that Janine is totally oblivious to Gregory.

Gregory: "Maybe don't order the ribs. I've seen you eat ribs before. It can get aggressive."
Janine: "That's a good call."
Janine: (devours ribs, declines napkins because she's not done)

Though I think that was part of the backstory for Claire and Phil in Modern Family; on an early date, she decided she didn't care about the date, she went in on food, he was impressed at her confidence, and then they connected?
posted by Pronoiac at 5:40 AM on February 4

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