The Good Wife: Innocents
October 11, 2015 10:07 PM - Season 7, Episode 2 - Subscribe

Alicia and Luc(c?)a try to help a guy stop his mom's naked art photos of him. Howard and Cary go to a semi-weaksauce war. Eli and Ruth continue their war as well. Everyone looks for the new Kalinda.

Case Of The Week: In bond court, Alicia and Lucca* come across a guy whose mom is a photographer and has sold naked photos of her kids here, there, and everywhere, including in a book and in a museum--the son was in bond court for vandalizing his own photo. He's been getting e-mail from pedophiles and the like ever since and wants this to stop, especially since now it's the first thing one finds about him online. They're up against Nancy Crozier, who straight up pretends to NOT recognize Alicia. Alicia is all, we've been up against each other in 12 CASES. Nancy is all, what is your name again? Oh, Nancy.

* I'm seeing both Luca and Lucca online, I may just go with the closed captioning spelling for the time being.

Anyway, the case goes all over the map, ranging from "is it art" to "is it porn" (at one point Alicia/Lucca bring in an expert pedophile to testify that yes, this is exactly what would stock his wank bank) to "can we sell merchandise" to Maine law to a kid being employed as a model to I forget what all. Meanwhile, Judge Delaney is a Muslim convert and is either slaphappy or too hungry to focus during the case. The case is also a bit hampered by...

The Search For The New Kalinda: Both Alicia and Cary (they even talk on the phone about this for some reason!) are looking for a new investigator! Three are recommended: some ex-cop (or not) who's only good if you get him in the morning and goes on about being old fashioned and nobody wants him, so we're down to two. the charming, handsome, semi-expensive Jason Crouch, played by Jeffrey Dean Morgan, and a cute 20something girl named Amanda who reminds Alicia of Kalinda. (The entire audience winces at that one.) Despite Grace's pleas to hire the cute guy, Alicia hires Amanda and finds out within a half hour that Amanda is a 20something who can only check Facebook BUT NOT GOOGLE and thus Nancy surprises A/L with internet photos of Eric having a good time and they get an affadavit from his "missing" sister, who was apparently IN Chicago, wtf? So Amanda is fired and Jason re-interviews, helpfully suggesting that the judge is now Muslim. We know something Alicia doesn't--both she and Whatever The Firm Is Called Now are offering him jobs and he's claiming to be bouncing between them moneywise--but The Firm is offering him a crapton more money and yet he takes Alicia instead. We can only reasonably assume this is because of future boning because The Search For The New Will continues. Oh yeah, and Grace wants to be paid money, please, thanks. Just thought I'd mention it.

In other firm news: associates get ticked at Howard and go to Cary about it, Diane is all "we're just here to add clout and prestige and mooch off associates' work so too bad so sad," Cary thinks he can solve the problem by giving Howard "emeritus" status, Howard gets pissed and declares war on Cary, which boils down to Howard getting a case of Cary's moved up and Cary telling Howard not to go to a meeting that turns out to be for Emily's List. SOME WAR THIS IS. Howard ends up saying it's him or me and stomping out, and David Lee is all, "Did he just issue the easiest ultimatum in history?"

Meanwhile, back in Politics Land, Eli apologizes to Peter and gets told he can't have a job anyway, but Alicia blackmails him into it by threatening to not be such a happy family. "You're being used," Peter says. "I know. Who isn't?" Alicia says back flatly. Anyway, the Eli-Ruth war continues, with Ruth siccing Nora the assistant on Eli as her stoolie (Nora, not an idiot, lets Eli know this) and Eli taunting Ruth by a mention of the movie It Follows.
Eli gets Alicia to apologize to Frank, the Democratic head that screwed her over, because... "You apologize and he won't see it coming." UH-HUH. I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE, ELI. This leads to Alicia being offered first vote on the elections board (wtf) if she just votes no on whatever it is with no further information. I sure don't see how that could end badly at all! Peter institutes a "no bad blood" policy, insisting that Eli and Ruth call each other with congratulations when one scores a point. Ruh-roh.

Quote Corner:
"You may now commence petty fighting over tchotchkes." -Judge Dunaway
"I have often found mousepads to be tiny works of art." -Nancy

Which reminds me: eventually Eric and his mom agree or something, and at any rate, everyone gets paid. Huzzah.
posted by jenfullmoon (11 comments total)
I had to flip back the DVR 3 times to confirm that, yes, Eli really did ask if Ruth had seen "It Follows." Eli is the best.
posted by Justinian at 1:12 AM on October 12, 2015 [1 favorite]

I do hope they're going somewhere with the Cary thing. I thought "Cary tries to make the firm younger and cooler" was bad last week, but "Cary has a feud with the most ridiculous foe imaginable" is even worse.

I assume the "easiest ultimatum in history" will turn out to be not-so-easy -- my guess is that the bunch-of-partners-whose-names-we-aren't-privy-to will somehow support Howard, or maybe a big client -- and Cary will find himself looking for work. But maybe not...

And what the heck was with the associate who came on to Cary last week returning to tell him he isn't gay? I have no idea where they're going with that.

Feud watch: Alicia was not in the same scene as Cary or Diane or David Lee or Howard, but that makes sense since Alicia wasn't up against The Firm this time. In fact, now that I think of it, Alicia's random "Do you know any investigators" conversation with Cary, and both firms interviewing Jason, and Cary's feud with Howard, all appeared to happen just so that the characters in The Firm could have some screen time in an episode that wasn't really about them.

When Alicia asked the 20something investigator "Do you know Kalinda Sharma?" you could see ice in her veins. Alicia looked like her next line would be "You remind me of her. She's buried in my backyard." They should just never mention the K word so we can pretend things are normal on this show again...
posted by mmoncur at 2:25 AM on October 12, 2015

Did anyone else think the woman investigator was a dig at Archie P? The manner, the leather, the hair but she was completely incompetent. That was my first reaction but I don't know why. Then when I woke up this morning, I wasn't sure. It was probably just a nod to the controversy.

Howard. First of all, when he was new to the show several seasons ago, I thought he was emeritus, and he was only back to being a full partner because Diane and Will needed his vote for something. So it was odd that it wasn't mentioned. The "him or me" sounds like Cary won't be joining Alicia. Maybe Howard will.

I was totally cool with this episode until the meet with Dem head scenes. Okay, so she has to placate him, so getting a seat on the Election Board (zzzzzzz) sends a message that she is rehabilitated (or that the system is corrupt but whatever) but that weird first vote stipulation, sending Eli out of the room, why would anyone in their right mind agree to that? She's just not that desperate or stupid. And the fact that viewers didn't see what went down means this is going to be hanging over her head for the entire season. Ugh.

Speaking of stupid, why would Margo Martindale ask a person who apparently is already friends/loyal/working with Eli to spy on him?
posted by TWinbrook8 at 7:42 AM on October 12, 2015

The whole "you remind me of Kalinda, but actually you're terrible and we'll never speak of you again" bit felt kind of odd alright.
posted by TwoWordReview at 9:03 AM on October 12, 2015 [1 favorite]

With all the talk of needing investigators, we don't even get a throwaway line as to where Robin disappeared to? Did I miss one last year? She vanished after the first few Season 6 episodes.
posted by yellowbinder at 4:01 PM on October 12, 2015 [3 favorites]

I hear she's working for Taye Diggs' character.
posted by TWinbrook8 at 6:52 PM on October 12, 2015 [2 favorites]

The actress moved to the opposite coast and they've just never bothered to explain her absence on the show.

"Speaking of stupid, why would Margo Martindale ask a person who apparently is already friends/loyal/working with Eli to spy on him?"

I think it's the same logic they used in the first season of Burn Notice when Sam was supposed to spy on Michael. It's super convenient to get someone's friend to do it. Convenient for who, though....?

This whole "auditioning the new Kalinda" thing is weird. You know when you see Jeffrey Dean Morgan that the other two are ringers, but I just kinda choked when they were attempting to make it sound like Alicia would WANT another Kalinda.
posted by jenfullmoon at 8:47 PM on October 12, 2015

Yeah, it wasn't exactly a cliffhanger as to which investigator would stick around.
posted by Justinian at 12:41 AM on October 13, 2015

Did anyone else think the woman investigator was a dig at Archie P? The manner, the leather, the hair but she was completely incompetent. That was my first reaction but I don't know why. Then when I woke up this morning, I wasn't sure. It was probably just a nod to the controversy.

Robert and Michelle King deny that this is the case, but they also deny the feud, so whatevs.

I miss Alicia and Cary working together. There's no way that Cary will re-partner with Alicia, since the last time they tried that ended up with Cary being pushed back into The Firm. I hope their relationship isn't doomed to be an occasional phone call.
posted by donajo at 8:39 AM on October 13, 2015 [1 favorite]

"You remind me of her"

"You're fired. I don't need you."

Yeah, pure coincidence. On another note, has Grace been hanging out too long in the spray tan booth? She seemed awfully orange this week.
posted by TWinbrook8 at 11:21 AM on October 13, 2015 [1 favorite]

I don't know who Jeffrey Dean Morgan is, but he's got eyes just like Robert Downey, Jr.
posted by matildaben at 11:36 AM on November 2, 2015

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