Mystery Science Theater 3000: HERCULES UNCHAINED
December 2, 2015 4:15 PM - Season 4, Episode 8 - Subscribe

AKA Ercole e la regina di Lidia. "Spectacles of Massive Might Beyond Any Ever Known Before!" "SEE The War of the Chariots! SEE Lydia the Temptress! SEE the Contest of Giants!" Hercules and his friend Ulysses (wait what?) get waylaid from an important mission by a sultry evil queen, who takes advantage of his drinking of the "waters of forgetfulness" to advance her romantic plans on the Hercster. This one marks the beginning of a new category for Mystery Science Theater movies, the sword-and-sandal epic. Most of these are fine episodes. Common to most: the meeting of the manly macho man-friends of Hercules, the customary Display of Strength, the evil trap that Herc falls into, the evil queen with designs on the Herc-meister, the Prance of the Courtly Nymphs, and of course the rampant muddling and conflating of ancient Greek works. YouTube (1h32m)

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Daddy-O's Drive-In Dirt
IMDB (4.3 stars)
"While negotiating peace between two brothers contesting the throne of Thebes, an amnesiac Hercules is seduced by the evil Queen Omphale."
Directed by Pietro Francisci. Written by Pietro Francisci, Ennio De Concini, and --get this-- Sophocles and Aeschylus. Starring Steve Reeves, Sylva Koscina and Sylvia Lopez.
posted by JHarris (9 comments total) 2 users marked this as a favorite
I have the worst time following these. Same with The Giant of Marathon, when The Film Crew did it.
posted by Chrysostom at 5:30 PM on December 2, 2015

I'll be at Rifftrax Live tonight, so I will probably miss this one.
posted by wittgenstein at 3:22 AM on December 3, 2015 [3 favorites]

My favorite moment: Joel and the bots' reaction at Gabriele Antonini's reading of Ulysses' line: "You are Hercules." Link
posted by duffell at 6:46 AM on December 3, 2015 [1 favorite]

We had this episode on tape growing up and I watched it all the time. In college, I took a "myth in film" class, and we watched this movie (sans MST3K commentary). I had a reeeeeally hard time keeping it together.
posted by duffell at 6:47 AM on December 3, 2015 [2 favorites]

We'll miss your wit, witt.
posted by valkane at 1:16 PM on December 3, 2015 [1 favorite]

So..... Oswalt Patton huh? I think he woulda made a better host.
posted by valkane at 1:33 PM on December 3, 2015

There's a whole lot of meta-drama over whether there is actually drama within the original creative team. I'm not sure if I want to get into here.

I can say that Josh had the single best thing I've read yet about a new cast.
posted by Chrysostom at 1:50 PM on December 3, 2015 [1 favorite]

Ah, forgot the usual room link. The show starts in about ten minutes at:
posted by JHarris at 5:49 PM on December 3, 2015

Last night...
Hercules couldn't perform...
'Cause he's using steroids...

I swear I start giggling inside whenever I see a woman playing the harp, because I'm sure she's going to sing that at some point.

Sylva Koscina is transcendently beautiful in this movie.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 8:47 AM on December 4, 2015 [2 favorites]

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