Last Man on Earth: Valhalla
March 13, 2016 9:41 PM - Season 2, Episode 12 - Subscribe
Everybody in Malibu tries to cope with the events of Christmas.
The title comes from Phil Tandy insisting that Phil2 get a Viking funeral, with an amazingly decorated boat. Alas, Phil Tandy misses his goal, b y a lot, of shooting the flaming arrow onto the boat tom make it burn. He also goes around calling Phil2 his brother, which Carol notes probably has more to do with Phil's actual brother. After the funeral, Phil Tandy performs a song... well, I don't know what the hell I'd call that performance, really. Well, besides "holy god terrible."
Carol is cranky about Todd not accepting Melissa's marriage proposal and Phil Tandy tells her that it's because Gail and Todd are now boning. He attempts to force Carol to not tell either, but knows enough to check her crossed fingers behind her back. Melissa is unhappy enough to be breaking all of Carol's ornaments, which Carol apparently feels obligated to agree to. Later, we see Melissa attempting to un-bedazzle the boots Carol gave her--with her teeth. She also asks Todd if he wants to watch TV with her---just as friends. Uh, how are they doing that?
Phil Tandy continues to grieve the noisiest of everyone, by going into Phil2's room and wearing his clothes, quoting Phil2's insults to him in the mirror, and snooping through his shit. Which is where he finds Phil2's license for PHIL STACY MILLER. HE DID TOO HAVE AN EMBARRASSING MIDDLE NAME! After that, Phil Tandy creates a pink ball with a goatee on it and names it Stacy.
Gail is moping with her booze and her accordion (and Gordon-the-dummy). She wants to have some consolation sex with Todd, but when Todd declines to take off his pants and says he made friends with Melissa, she conspicuously fills up a Big Gulp cup with more booze.
Phil Tandy offers to be the father to Erica's baby and patches the broken crib Phil2 made with duct tape--which is exactly as baby-safe as it sounds. Erica claims that some of Phil2's next to last words were to say that under no circumstances was she to let Phil Tandy raise the baby. Phil Tandy super maturely takes this well by smashing the cradle and then hanging out in a floating pool in the pool while shooting arrows at a large stuffed dummy, presumably Phil2. Later he frames Phil2 as having a porn collection, pills, and slam poetry book in his room and shows it to Erica, who is all "I was in this room three hours ago and none of that was in here."
By the way, the baby cow is so cute!
Somehow Todd and Melissa are watching a motorcross race (recorded? with what generator?) while she uses this as an excuse to make the moves on him. Melissa brags about this to Carol later and Carol is all, "did you tell Gail?" No, why?
Naturally, Phil Tandy decides to burn all of Phil 2's stuff on the beach. Then Phil2's corpse boat rolls in on the sand, Phil Tandy tells Phil2's corpse off for forbidding him to raise his kid. Erica comes out and sees all of this horror and tells him to just let it go. Phil Tandy is distracted by Erica's Aussie accent in this moment in time and decides to riff on "That's not a knife, THAT's A KNIFE" instead.
Carol kisses Todd and tells him he broke her heart. Huh? I guess she's checking him for the taste of Melissa.
I'm going to assume Phil Tandy and Erica buried Phil2's body.
The title comes from Phil Tandy insisting that Phil2 get a Viking funeral, with an amazingly decorated boat. Alas, Phil Tandy misses his goal, b y a lot, of shooting the flaming arrow onto the boat tom make it burn. He also goes around calling Phil2 his brother, which Carol notes probably has more to do with Phil's actual brother. After the funeral, Phil Tandy performs a song... well, I don't know what the hell I'd call that performance, really. Well, besides "holy god terrible."
Carol is cranky about Todd not accepting Melissa's marriage proposal and Phil Tandy tells her that it's because Gail and Todd are now boning. He attempts to force Carol to not tell either, but knows enough to check her crossed fingers behind her back. Melissa is unhappy enough to be breaking all of Carol's ornaments, which Carol apparently feels obligated to agree to. Later, we see Melissa attempting to un-bedazzle the boots Carol gave her--with her teeth. She also asks Todd if he wants to watch TV with her---just as friends. Uh, how are they doing that?
Phil Tandy continues to grieve the noisiest of everyone, by going into Phil2's room and wearing his clothes, quoting Phil2's insults to him in the mirror, and snooping through his shit. Which is where he finds Phil2's license for PHIL STACY MILLER. HE DID TOO HAVE AN EMBARRASSING MIDDLE NAME! After that, Phil Tandy creates a pink ball with a goatee on it and names it Stacy.
Gail is moping with her booze and her accordion (and Gordon-the-dummy). She wants to have some consolation sex with Todd, but when Todd declines to take off his pants and says he made friends with Melissa, she conspicuously fills up a Big Gulp cup with more booze.
Phil Tandy offers to be the father to Erica's baby and patches the broken crib Phil2 made with duct tape--which is exactly as baby-safe as it sounds. Erica claims that some of Phil2's next to last words were to say that under no circumstances was she to let Phil Tandy raise the baby. Phil Tandy super maturely takes this well by smashing the cradle and then hanging out in a floating pool in the pool while shooting arrows at a large stuffed dummy, presumably Phil2. Later he frames Phil2 as having a porn collection, pills, and slam poetry book in his room and shows it to Erica, who is all "I was in this room three hours ago and none of that was in here."
By the way, the baby cow is so cute!
Somehow Todd and Melissa are watching a motorcross race (recorded? with what generator?) while she uses this as an excuse to make the moves on him. Melissa brags about this to Carol later and Carol is all, "did you tell Gail?" No, why?
Naturally, Phil Tandy decides to burn all of Phil 2's stuff on the beach. Then Phil2's corpse boat rolls in on the sand, Phil Tandy tells Phil2's corpse off for forbidding him to raise his kid. Erica comes out and sees all of this horror and tells him to just let it go. Phil Tandy is distracted by Erica's Aussie accent in this moment in time and decides to riff on "That's not a knife, THAT's A KNIFE" instead.
Carol kisses Todd and tells him he broke her heart. Huh? I guess she's checking him for the taste of Melissa.
I'm going to assume Phil Tandy and Erica buried Phil2's body.
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posted by Etrigan at 10:17 AM on March 14, 2016