RuPaul's Drag Race: Draggily Ever After
April 8, 2017 12:42 AM - Season 9, Episode 3 - Subscribe

The queens must fashion themselves into fantasy princesses, and also voice their own CGI sidekick, adding a comedy twist to the season's first sewing challenge.

In the workroom, the Pulse shooting comes up. Trinity was actually Miss Pulse and had performed there the week prior, and knew the entertainers who were trapped there (one of whom was Li'l Kenya Michaels of Season 4 fame); Cynthia, meanwhile, reveals she had a friend perish in the shooting -- a friend who actually came to see her, not knowing she had rescheduled her performance. Sasha does woke white ladies/dudes proud and takes us to social justice church in the voiceover. It's a touching and rousing moment.

Valentina, Trinity, and Peppermint are high. Valentina plays it smart, going with a shadily evil ice queen; Peppermint delivers a great look as Princess Carcinogenetta, and her pilot light sidekick is cute. But Trinity takes it home with some punny raunchiness (often a safe bet on RPDR) as Princess Aquapussy and her sidekick Stanky the Starfish. Meanwhile, Eureka, whose sewer princess had glittering cockroaches on her cheeks, and whose sidekick was a dog named Woof Trade [!!!!!] was kinda robbed, no?!

Predictably, some people STILL don't know how to sew (o'quanch!) and land in the bottom 3 as a result, namely Farrah and Kimora. Kimora's is vicariously embarrassing on so many levels. BTW, Kimora Blac is so brave, you guys. She came out without hip pads! Aja joins them because her look was the least comprehensible, if not the worst sewn.

In the end, Aja's look was better than Farrah Moan's, but my guess is that at this point it was Kimora's time to be sent packing and Ru and company sealed the deal by throwing in this season's lip sync assassin. Aja turns it out to Bonnie Tyler's "Holding Out For A Hero" and absolutely murders Kimora. It's over from the first jump into the splits (also, Kimora doesn't seem to have really known the words, bless her heart), but the lipsync has a great "accidentally synchronized" moment when Aja and Kimora simultaneously hit the floor.

Kimora's last words on the stage are literally "I'm pretty." Get my pocketbook, I'm leaving.
posted by en forme de poire (20 comments total)
 
Also, Kimora Blac's exit interview is something, you guys.
posted by en forme de poire at 12:45 AM on April 8, 2017


(She was quite sweet in Untucked, though.)
posted by en forme de poire at 1:10 AM on April 8, 2017


And oh my god it was Roof Trade, that is even better.
posted by en forme de poire at 2:53 AM on April 8, 2017 [1 favorite]


HOW DO YOU GET TO SEASON 9 WITHOUT LEARNING HOW TO SEW?

No excuse. Nothing. Take a fucking dressmaking lesson the minute you submit your frikkin tape. Like, every damn season has had a couple of dressmaking challenges. Fuck, 8 was wall to wall with them. Just take a lesson. I don't care if Kim K doesn't sew. You're a goddamn drag queen, learn to sew.

*takes a breath*

AND LEARN THE LYRICS TO THE LIPSYNC.

/purse first off the stage
posted by Jilder at 4:21 AM on April 8, 2017 [6 favorites]


I ❤ this recap, I ❤ this show, and I ❤ you.

(Also Valentina who is cute as a goddamn button, in and out of drag.)
posted by kwaller at 8:13 AM on April 8, 2017 [1 favorite]


Aquapushy.
posted by roger ackroyd at 8:28 AM on April 8, 2017 [2 favorites]


So glad Kimora got the boot. In past seasons, annoying queens stay foreveeeeeeeeer.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 7:16 PM on April 8, 2017 [2 favorites]


The episode with Disney princesses had to end this way (with the evil queen vanquished).
posted by MCMikeNamara at 10:01 AM on April 9, 2017 [2 favorites]


This week's untucked features my new favorite Shea Coulee moment (and Reddit meme): "WHY YALL ACTING BRAND NEW?!"

Agreed with the analysis that Farrah should've been bottom two, but she got her Rudemption and everyone knew Aja would destroy Kimora in a LSFYL.
posted by Zephyrial at 8:59 AM on April 10, 2017 [3 favorites]


BTW anyone who hasn't seen Tandi Iman Dupree (rest her soul) slaughter the hell out of "Holding Out For A Hero" needs to watch this right now. (If you haven't seen it, and at 00:30 in you're not gagging, idk what to tell you.)
posted by en forme de poire at 11:57 AM on April 10, 2017 [9 favorites]


(p.s. love ya back kwaller!)
posted by en forme de poire at 11:58 AM on April 10, 2017 [1 favorite]


Well all I can say is thank goodness. Kimora was capital-A Annoying and often those girls stick around for tv. It also just goes to show that the internet doesn't know crap when it comes to queens. The fan vote winner back a handful of years ago, Penny Tration, was sashay'd immediately, and for the past few years after each cast list came out there's been this uproar of "WHY NO KIMORA BLACK". She is just a pretty (bitchy) face, that's why.

Zephyrial, I've been saying "WHY Y'ALL ACTING BRAND NEW" to our two goofy black labs all weekend.
posted by donnagirl at 2:37 PM on April 10, 2017 [4 favorites]


Am I alone in thinking that Shea keeps wearing outfits that would benefit from some padding?

I think Farrah was partially saved from bottom 2 because her sidekick was actually good.
posted by Julnyes at 11:06 AM on April 11, 2017 [2 favorites]


Yeah, Farrah can't sew and that's dumb as hell but her overall look, though simple, still worked better than the actual bottom 2 in my opinion. (I will admit to being biased because of Aja's face and Kimora's everything.)

Related: Kim K. might not sew but if Kim K. knew that winning depended on sewing, she'd learn how to fake it enough to not go out as the second contestant eliminated.

Also, I'm fairly new (only the last few seasons every episode and only scattered in betweens) but has there ever been as much shade given to a loser as the whole St. Kimora of the No Padding shtick Ru and Michelle gave in their critique that they made certain to call back to as they sent Kimora packing?
posted by MCMikeNamara at 9:52 PM on April 11, 2017 [2 favorites]


I forgot the thing that I originally came here to post: I can't believe we got the origin story of the cucu. It was like the mylar-sleeved, special editio issue of Cynthia Lee Fontain #1 I didn't think the world needed.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 10:01 PM on April 11, 2017 [5 favorites]


The fact that Kimora clearly didn't understand a word of that story made it even better.

I laughed and said, "Kimora don't know from chancletas!"

CLF needs to stop saying cucu every five seconds, but that story was gold.
posted by Julnyes at 7:33 AM on April 12, 2017 [1 favorite]


Yeah, to be absolutely clear, I loved the story and was thrilled when I realised Cynthia was the returning contestant, but a little goes a long way and if she goes again soon, I won't be too sad.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 8:59 AM on April 12, 2017 [1 favorite]


Well all I can say is thank goodness. Kimora was capital-A Annoying and often those girls stick around for tv.

AGREED! My wife and I were sure she'd stay around for waay too long. And Kimora was the queen last week who complained about not being able to sew (because she's a socialite who buys whatever she wants), but this week Farrah was the focus in the edits, possibly to make the ending seem less like a foregone conclusion. Kimora is 100% a look queen, she had no hope to claim the crown. Even Courtney Act, annoying and entitled though she was at times, had some humility and was generally kind to other queens.

My least favorite part of this episode was that they focused on the queens who couldn't sew, so we didn't get to even hear from the other queens until they were on the runway, and then those stupid violet lights washed everything out, so you could't even see their looks until they were standing on the stage together. /rant


Also, I'm fairly new (only the last few seasons every episode and only scattered in betweens) but has there ever been as much shade given to a loser as the whole St. Kimora of the No Padding shtick Ru and Michelle gave in their critique that they made certain to call back to as they sent Kimora packing?

Not that I can recall, and I'm pretty sure I've seen 'em all. To be honest, most of the queens have more recognition of what it takes to make it on the show, and are nowhere near the spoiled socialite trope that Kimora was, so shading a loser would be mean. If anything, Ru is more one to celebrate and support the queens when she sends them home, to take out some of the sting of losing and to encourage them to improve.
posted by filthy light thief at 10:01 AM on April 12, 2017 [3 favorites]


Courtney actually had some really interesting things to say both on and off the show about gender and mental health and etc.; it's a shame the show kind of pigeonholed her as the pretty stuck-up one after the first episode or so.
posted by en forme de poire at 11:51 PM on April 12, 2017 [1 favorite]


Good points, en forme. She definitely got some "stuck up, spoiled, entitled rich queen" edit at points, but she was shown as way more personable and outgoing than Kimora, who got the "lazy, entitled, spoiled, look queen" edit, in her two brief episodes. But I don't remember Courtney complaining about the requirements of the challenges, though I could be revising history here.
posted by filthy light thief at 4:23 PM on April 17, 2017 [1 favorite]


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