Mystery Science Theater 3000: THE HORROR OF PARTY BEACH Rewatch Season 8, Ep 17
Re-rewatch! Monsters created by radiation lumber ashore to attack the population of old teenagers. Their savior? As always, the magic metal: SODIUM. Previously and again.
Mystery Science Theater 3000: THE GIANT SPIDER INVASION Rewatch Season 8, Ep 10
It's a re-rewatch of savings at Menards! A terrible person finds the egg of a space-spider, and finds out it's full of diamond-like crystals. Also, he's awful to his wife, he's one of the more loatheable characters in MST history. The spider eventually kills the guy and goes on to terrorize the town. Packers win the Super Bowl, whooo! It's a fun episode. In subplot news, it's pod people time. Previously and again.
Mystery Science Theater 3000: THE SHE-CREATURE Rewatch Season 8, Ep 8
Rewatch! Because in the 50s even our creatures had to be obviously gendered. A lady is hypnotized and, as all hypnotized people do, summons a lobster woman. It's the last episode on Observer World before Mike destroys it. Oops! Previously.
Mystery Science Theater 3000: THE DEADLY MANTIS Rewatch Season 8, Ep 4
Rewatch! A big frozen bug from prehistory is thawed out and begins eating people. They swat it with a jet plane. This is the last episode with Deep Ape, and begins the "chase" subplot that lasts most of the rest of the season. Previously.
Mystery Science Theater 3000: REVENGE OF THE CREATURE Rewatch Season 8, Ep 1
Rewatch! The creature from the Black Lagoon is put in a marine park for people to gawk at, until he escapes and causes immense danger. Great job, guys! And hey, it's Clint Eastwood's first movie! As for the show, it's been a few months and a different channel in real time, and 500 years in narrative time. The SOL is now orbiting a planet of apes, although Pearl is also there, and she's continuing the experiment for some reason. Also, Crow's different. Previously.
Mystery Science Theater 3000: THE INCREDIBLE MELTING MAN Rewatch Season 7, Ep 4
Rewatch! One of MST3K's Double Adjective Man movies, the others being The Amazing Colossal Man, Teenage Cave Man and Amazing Transparent Man. (There's also Indestructable Man, The Brute Man, The Projected Man and, of course, The Pumaman.) An astronaut returns to Earth and is affected by something that makes him kill people, kind of like a slightly more competent Monster A-Go-Go. In the host segments, Crow shepherds his movie Earth Vs. Soup to completion and through focus groups, a sequence inspired in no small part by Best Brains' experiences in getting MST3K The Movie made. Previously.
Mystery Science Theater 3000: GAMERA VS. GAOS Rewatch Season 3, Ep 8
Re-rewatch! On Sunday: like Godzilla, Gamera progressed through his career from being a force of destruction to being a protector of humanity, defending Japanese cities against other kaiju. Gaos (alternately spelled Gyaos) may be the most iconic and effective of Gamera's foes, being a sort of giant vampire bat thing with laser eyes. Sadly, the annoying kid Gamerafriends are back after their absence from Gamera vs. Barugon. Previously - Also previously
Mystery Science Theater 3000: GAMERA VS. BARUGON Rewatch Season 3, Ep 4
Re-rewatch! A gigantic sort of allegator-dog attacks Japan, and in a twist (whaaa?) the previously aggressive monster turtle Gamera is the only thing that can stop it. At least there's no obnoxious kid this time. Previously one and Previously two
Mystery Science Theater 3000: GAMERA Rewatch Season 3, Ep 2
Re-rewatch! A giant turtle terrorizes Japan while a sad little kid is told he can't keep his pet turtle. Their paths cross, and now the military tries to save Japan from kaiju destruction while the kid helps as a kind of giant turtle expert. It's pretty ridiculous, but it's only the beginning of a series of Gamera movies. MST would eventually do five of them, and they're some of the show's most iconic episodes. Previously
Mystery Science Theater 3000: THE BLACK SCORPION Rewatch Season 1, Ep 13
Rewatch! Big critters from out of a volcano attack the lands south of the border. It's the last episode of Season One. Previously [more inside]
Mystery Science Theater 3000: GAMERA Rewatch Season 3, Ep 2
Rewatch! Up in the arctic, atomic tests run by Major Curley awaken a huge, slumbering giant from the deep... if you thought, "oh it's okay, it's just a big turtle," you might be surprised by the havoc it raises. Meanwhile, a sad sad kid in Japan is obsessed with his pet turtle, so his parents take it away from him, making him even more sad. Oh, how will their stories converge. First of the Gamera series. Other than perhaps Gamera vs. Barugon, the only Gamera without kids in it, this may be the one that plays it the straightest, without goofy enemy monsters, the Gamera theme song or other ridiculous elements. It's not terrible as a monster movie, but that subplot with Kenny pushes it over the edge into ludicrousness. Previously
Mystery Science Theater 3000: THE CREEPING TERROR Rewatch Season 6, Ep 6
Rewatch! From the depths of OUTER SPACE comes a deadly shed containing two walking dirty carpets each festooned with vacuum cleaner attachments. Featuring the most ridiculous monsters in MST history, and that's saying something. What. A. Movie. This is the platonic ideal of a superbad z-grade monster movie. Terrible effects, horrible acting, a nonsensical script and nearly entirely dubbed dialogue. (muah) Exquisite! Previously.
Mystery Science Theater 3000: GAMERA VS. BARUGON Rewatch Season 3, Ep 4
Rewatch! Second of the Gamera kaiju films, in which a spinning, jet-propelled turtle fights monsters and destroys buildings. This one was of the age where Gamera was still mostly feared, and it's the only Gamera movie without any kids in it! The monster he fights, with freezing tongue and rainbow destruction beam, is rather random. Previously.
Mystery Science Theater 3000: GAMERA VS. GAOS Rewatch Season 3, Ep 8
Rewatch! Another movie about Japan's fiery spinning menace who's also the friend to children. This is the third Gamera movie, and the third that MST has done. This is the one where Gamera makes the transition from menace to hero, to protect Japan from space vampire Gaos (or "Gyaos" depending on transliteration). Not nearly as weird as Gamera vs. Guiron, it still generally works as a monster movie, and may be the best of the Gamera films. Previously.
Mystery Science Theater 3000: TRACK OF THE MOON BEAST Season 10, Ep 7
"The Riding Moon Creates a Monster" From the depths of space comes a meteor, which konks a guy in the head, causing the most logical thing to happen: sometimes he turns into a lizard and kills people. A fun episode, generally enjoyed by the three main fansites we track. The movie, which contains a character named Johnny Longbow, was actually co-written by Batman co-creator Bill Finger. Episode 1007 is available on YouTube. Premiered June 13, 1999. Six episodes left. [more inside]
Mystery Science Theater 3000: BLOOD WATERS OF DR. Z Season 10, Ep 5
a.k.a. Zaat. "Is The Monster Man...Fish...Or Devil?" "It Would Take An Atom Bomb To Wipe Out The Walking Catfish!" "WARNING! Positively no one admitted during last 15 minutes!" Sargassum! After a short, nonsensical narration of an aquarium, a scientist charts on his gigantic circular day-planner his revenge on the scientific establishment, and the world that shunned his ideas, by turning himself into a monster that he calls (but isn't) a fish, then sets about making himself a fishy mate, while very southern authorities try to stop him. We've been through some adventures, haven't we? Well here's one more, the last of what I'd call the extreme pain category of episodes. Great host segments in this one! This episode is available to watch on YouTube. Premiered June 27, 1998. Eight episodes left. [more inside]
Mystery Science Theater 3000: GORGO Season 9, Ep 9
LIKE NOTHING YOU'VE NEVER SEEN BEFORE! A gigantic sea lizard emerges from the ocean off the British coast and wrecks stuff, but is captured. Then its mother shows up. Oops! Mormo could not be reached by press time. Note that the short intro blurbs often seen in these writeups are taken from advertising for the movie. I don't myself claim you've never seen something like this obvious British Godzilla clone before. Leonard Maltin (a good sport) shows up in a couple of host segments! This episode is not available on YouTube. Premiered July 18, 1998. 17 episodes left. [more inside]
Mystery Science Theater 3000: THE PROJECTED MAN Season 9, Ep 1
"Born a man... turned into a living laser beam by science's most gruesome experiment!" "A Billion Volts of Death in Every Finger!" Another dang fool scientist is inventing a teleporter, and again he's impatient for results so he tests it on himself and becomes a monster. Isn't it weird when a movie's hubristic Tampering In God's Domain amounts to moving somewhere? Hey here's a thought, why not just walk a few steps across the room and maybe not turn into a deformed horror? Lembeck is staying! The movie's okay but the thing about this episode is that the "endless chase" subplot is finally over, although it takes a season for the opening theme to catch up with this fact. Pearl and henchies finally arrive at and settle into ancestral family home Castle Forrester, the show's site until the end of the classic era. Pearl discovers a family history in which she finds out her family has been forcing bad art on hapless subjects for ages. In this, we find out that the female half of her family basically have the same first-naming conventions as the Crystal Gems, which could make for some really odd fanfiction if anyone wants to write it. (Kinga breaks that trend though.) YouTube (1h32m) Premiered November 22, 1997. 25 episodes left. [more inside]
Mystery Science Theater 3000: THE HORROR OF PARTY BEACH Season 8, Ep 17
"WEIRD Atomic Beasts Who Live Off Human BLOOD!!!" "The First Horror Monster Musical!" Suspeciously old teens gyrate while radioactive waste dumped off-shore creates mutant monsters, in what appear to be laughable costumes, that lumber ashore to eat straggers from their barely-clothed herd, until their special weakness is found: SODIUM. Another of those laughable 60s monster movies, with particularly ineffective monsters. In the subplot, the guys arrive in ancient Rome to spend a few episodes bumping around. YouTube (1h32m) Premiered September 6, 1997. [more inside]
Mystery Science Theater 3000: I WAS A TEENAGE WEREWOLF Season 8, Ep 9
"The Most Amazing Picture of Our Time!" A hypnotist gives Michael Landon a substance that turns him into a werewolf. Who gave this guy funding? What, another hypnotist? One of those was the villain last movie! Pearl and company are now on what the show's staff called "camping world." Meanwhile on the SOL, the show gets invaded by an alien. Y'know, again. At least the stingers are back! YouTube (1h32m) - Promo (17s) Premiered April 19, 1997. [more inside]
Mystery Science Theater 3000: YONGARY, MONSTER FROM THE DEEP Season 11, Ep 9
A monster movie from South Korea, in which a petroleum-eating monster awakened from the Middle East attacks Seoul. Whatever geopolitical metaphor is intended by this is obscured by the fact that, oh Gamera, we have another little kid protagonist. Yongary's death scene is rather protracted. Ah, another little kid monster movie! And not a Kenny kid either, this is a full-on obnoxious lil brat along the lines of Time Of The Apes' Johnny, or that kid from Godzilla Vs. Megalon. When we meet this kid, he's aiming his superscience itch ray at relatives driving by in their car! There's a lot of other crazy on display here too. Episode 1109 is on YouTube. [more inside]
Mystery Science Theater 3000: THE BEAST OF HOLLOW MOUNTAIN Season 11, Ep 5
We're in the Old West! The owner of Rancho Bonito, Jimmy, is losing cattle to the quicksand bog. The local claim an ancient legendary beast is behind the losses, but Jimmy suspects foul play on the part of evil rancher and black marketer Enrique, whose thugs have been bothering Jimmy for a while. Helping him is his partner Felipe, and recovering alcoholic and Mexican stereotype and his son Pancho and Panchito. Matters are pretty tense between Jimmy and Enrique, and it doesn't help when Enrique's girl Sarita takes a liking to Jimmy either, so the two have a dust-up in town. Jimmy decides to leave town in order to protect Sarita. We're two acts down and nearly two-thirds through the movie. We're right on schedule for a traditional third act cowboy movie showdown, right? AND THEN THE CLAYMATION DINOSAUR ATTACKS.... It is no joke, that is exactly what happens in the movie. It's like they really wanted to make a Western, but could only get funding for a monster movie. It is the most stunning, least-telegraphed sudden left turn I've ever seen in a movie, and I'm including Monster A-Go-Go's ending in this. There is a particularly bizarre host segment in this episode where the bots nearly make not just Jonah but even the Mads hysterical with their antics. Episode 1105 is on Netflix. [more inside]
Mystery Science Theater 3000: NIGHT OF THE BLOOD BEAST Season 7, Ep 1
"No girl was safe as long as this HEAD HUNTING THING roamed the land!" An astronaut dies on reentry. Aliens are emerging from his skin, including one really big one that roams the countryside, stopping watches. Everyone wants to kill it except the astronaut, who is now not dead and full of shrimp. With short Once Upon a Honeymoon: More celestial interfering with mortal affairs, this time with an angel helping a composer write a jingle so he and his wife can go on their honeymoon. Roger Corman again, this is his next-to-last featured movie. Daddy-O informs us that the exactly same costume and location were used in 315 TEENAGE CAVEMAN. This is a weird episode because there are two sets of host segments. The first showing was on Turkey Day 1995 and an alternate storyline was written involving Thanksgiving dinner with many of the show's Comedy Central movie cameo characters, making this a nice retrospective on the CC years. Because this is the first episode of the infamous Season Seven, only six episodes long and the end of the show's run on that channel. 701 701T (1h32m) Turkey Day '95 extra bits & alternate host segments Premiered: 701T on Thanksgiving Day, November 23, 1995; 701 on February 3, 1996. [more inside]
Mystery Science Theater 3000: REPTILICUS Season 11, Ep 1
"INVINCIBLE... INDESTRUCTABLE! What was this awesome BEAST born fifty million years out of time?" Miners find some leathery tissue deep in a mine which grows into a monster and attacks Copenhagen, not a city built to withstand monster attack, with deadly cartoon slime. Also, a goofy handyman in overalls sticks his hand in an electric eel tank apparently just so he could make faces to the camera. A fine example of cinema! MST3K is back! With it comes new mads (Kinga and Max), a new host (Jonah Ray), higher production values, fancy interstitials, a skeleton band, a remix of Mighty Science Theater and the Wild Rebels cereal song at the end, and a long listing of Kickstarter backers at the end which doesn't even get out of the As in this episode. Episode 1101 is on Netflix. Premiered TODAY, April 14th, 2017. [more inside]
Mystery Science Theater 3000: THE BRAIN THAT WOULDN'T DIE Season 5, Ep 13
"Fantastic! Weird! Horrifying!" "Alive...Without A Body... Fed By An Unspeakable Horror From Hell!" How gifted does a doctor have to be that, when his GF is decapitated in a crash, his thought is, "I can fix this!" Two-for-two on a bad idea streak, he goes out and tries to kill attractive women so he can get her a new chassis. This movie teaches us that not only are free-standing heads capable of speech, they can communicate with horrible monsters. It's Mike Nelson's first episode as host, and boy, they change a lot of things with this episode, including updating the set and changing the door sequence! It's a pretty good episode riffing-wise, too. YouTube (1h31m) Premiered October 30, 1993. Did you know there is a stage musical based on the film, "Head: The Musical!" (Vimeo 1h40m) [more inside]
Mystery Science Theater 3000: ATTACK OF THE GIANT LEECHES, with short UNDERSEA KINGDOM, part one Season 4, Ep 6
"Crawling Horror...Rising from the Depths of Hell to Kill and Conquer!" Rednecks are disappearing and the sheriff won't listen that they've been caught giant leeches living in caves beneath the swamp. Oh well, it isn't anything a bunch of dynamite can't handle. With short UNDERSEA KINGDOM, Part 1: In this first episode of a 1936 serial, "Crash" Corrigan and friends (including a Professor, a Kid, and a Woman) dive beneath the sea in their rocket sub to the lost city of Atlantis. Everyday-wear in Atlantis is, shall we say, flamboyant. The short is the oldest thing ever riffed by MST3K. I find the conclusion of the movie particularly hilarious. Although they know that the leeches may be keeping their victims alive in underswamp caverns, the "good guys" still throw in bundles of explosive, killing leeches and victims alike. The movie was remade in 2008! Executive Produced by Roger Corman, and Regular Produced by his brother Gene. YouTube (1h31m) Premiered July 18, 1992. [more inside]
Mystery Science Theater 3000: WAR OF THE COLOSSAL BEAST Season 3, Ep 19
"The Towering Terror From Hell!" "SEE a Sixty Foot Giant Destroyed...in Color!" When we last saw Col. Glenn Manning, he was 60 feet tall and had fallen into the Colorado River, where we might presume his corpse would have stopped its flow at some point, or at least provided free sustenance for weeks to its aquatic wildlife. But they never found his amazing colossal body! Well that's because he survived, somehow, improbably, even though he was supposed to be close to death from his untimely embiggening. His sister (the first movie said he had no family but no matter) is determined to find out what happened to him. With the short MR. B NATURAL: A magical pixie that gives off mixed gender signals comes to visit a confused young boy and tries to sell him band equipment. The movie's another Bert I. Gordon monsterpiece, and a sequel to the movie featured in episode 309, THE AMAZING COLOSSAL MAN. It's a black and white movie, but it's color for the very VERY end so they could say that ad up above wasn't a lie. The episode's okay, but tends to languish in the shadow of the short which, in terms of concentrated riffing power, might be the funniest thing the Brains ever did. YouTube (1h37m) BONUS: A real rarity, Mr. B Natural (26m) on YouTube, un-MSTed! [more inside]
Mystery Science Theater 3000: GAMERA VS. ZIGRA Season 3, Ep 16
AKA Gamera tai Shinkai kaiju Jigura The evil alien Zigra comes to Earth in his glowing, flying bowl of Trix, and enacts his fiendish plan: to mind control people in such a way that just shouting in their ear will break the spell, and also to fight with Gamera. It doesn't go well for the intrepid shark monster. The last of the five Gamera movies MST would do, and eighth of the nine Sandy Frank films they would cover on cable. Classic "Shōwa era" Gamera would appear in three other movies in Japan: Gamera vs. Viras, Gamera vs. Jiger and the finale Gamera: Super Monster, which was mostly clips from prior movies, and in which they kill the giant turtle off. Gamera would return for four more movies in the "Heisei era," the last coming out in 2005. YouTube (1h37m) Here's the KTMA version (1h35m). [more inside]
Mystery Science Theater 3000: GAMERA VS. GUIRON Season 3, Ep 12
(1969, Color, Kaiju, Monster, Japanese, Gamera, Sandy Frank, Cornjob) aka "Attack Of The Monsters" "Will Gamera be a super turtle or turtle soup?" A pair of boys is taken away by two scantly-clad alien ladies to their home planet -- but they plan to eat their brains! To rescue the kids, Gamera will have to fight the inexplicable Guiron, a monster with a big knife blade for a forehead. If Gamera vs. Gaos is the best Gamera movie taken on its own terms, this one is, by far, the most entertaining one in an episode of MST3K. With a goofy enemy monster, Gamera doing many blatantly absurd things like gymnastics, and a character who's name sounds all the world like Cornjob, it's an awesome episode overall and excellent fun even for newbies. And it's the episode that gives us the Gamera Fight Song! It is fourth of the Gamera movies suffered by the crew of the SOL, and the sixth Sandy Frank movie. One Gamera film, and two other Sandy Frank films, remain. YouTube (1h37m) KTMA Original! (YouTube, 1h33m) [more inside]
Mystery Science Theater 3000: GAMERA VS. GAOS Season 3, Ep 8
aka Daikaijû kûchûsen: Gamera tai Gyaosu (1967, Black & White, Gamera, Kaiju, Monster, Japanese) It's the last of the "serious" Gamera movies, and the second where he teams up with a little boy, cementing Gamera's "friend to children" status. Gaos (sometimes "Gyaos") is probably the most iconic of Gamera's foes. This is probably the best classic Gamera movie; Gaos is a credible threat to the Twirling Terrapin, and the weirdness that infests later Gamera films hasn't hit yet. Prepare yourselves: the next one is very strange.... YouTube ( 1h37m) First aired July 27, 1991. [more inside]
Mystery Science Theater 3000: GAMERA VS. BARUGON Season 3, Ep 4
aka Daikaijû kettô: Gamera tai Barugon. (1966, Color, Gamera, Kaiju, Monster, Japan, Sandy Frank) Gamera made it out of the Z-Plan Rocket from the first movie, but now is challenged by giant, stick-tongued, rainbow-beamed gator-dog Barugon for his position on top of the monster heap. There's a subplot involving jewel thieves, but at least there's no obnoxious kids this time. It is the only Gamera movie Joel and the 'bots would get of which this could be said. Watch for Tom Servo's "Fightin' Men and Monsters" toy commercial, a joy to behold. YouTube (1h37m) First aired June 22, 1991. [more inside]
Mystery Science Theater 3000: GAMERA Season 3, Ep 2
(1965, B&W, Kaiju, Japan, Monster, Turtle, Kenny) aka Daikaiju Gamera, Gamera The Invincible. "See Gamera... Destroy Entire Cities! Attack from Outer Space! Fight the Mightiest Armies!" "CAN PLAN 'Z' STOP GAMMERA THE INVINCIBLE?" Atomic testing in the arctic revives a horrible prehistoric creature, the gigantic monster turtle Gamera, who destroys cities and torches armies... but also befriends a sad young boy?? The first cable MST3K episode to feature a movie brought to the US by Joel and the bots' third season archfoe: Sandy Frank! It's one of nine Sandy Frank imports they did, and one of five Gamera movies. At least two classic Gamera movies were not covered by MST: Gamera vs. Viras and Gamera vs. Monster X. YouTube (1h37m) First aired June 6, 1991. [more inside]
Mystery Science Theater 3000: GODZILLA VS. THE SEA MONSTER Season 2, Ep 13
(1966, Color, Japanese, Monster, Godzilla, Mothra, Kaiju) "The World's Devastating, Most Crushing Battle of the Gigantic Monsters: Ebirah, the Gigantic Lobster, Challenges the Supremacy of Godzilla and Mothra!" Guys steal a boat, people oppress islanders, and giant mutant critters throw down. After the stellar Godzilla vs. Megalon, this one's kind of a sleeper. Unavailable on YouTube. Originally aired February 2, 1991. [more inside]
Mystery Science Theater 3000: THE BLACK SCORPION Season 1, Ep 13
(B&W, Monster, Horror, Mexico, Volcano, Education) Giant scorpions come out of a volcano and attack Mexico. A large number of educated people try to stop them. "BLACK... so you can't see him until he's ready to get you! BLOODLESS... that's why he wants you!" "NOTE: The management reserves the right to put on the lights any time the audience becomes too emotionally disturbed!" We're here. We have made it to the end of the first season of Mystery Science Theater 3000. It's also the end of the early history of MST, and the swan song of Josh "J. Elvis" Weinstein as Dr. Lawrence Erhardt and original voice and performer of Tom Servo. To Weinstein may I just say: "THAAANK YOOOU!" Unavailable on YouTube. First aired February 3, 1990. [more inside]