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[TRAILER] After surviving an assault from a squad of hit men, retired CIA black ops agent Frank Moses (Bruce Willis) reassembles his old team for an all-out war. Frank reunites with old Joe (Morgan Freeman), crazy Marvin (John Malkovich) and wily Victoria (Helen Mirren) to uncover a massive conspiracy that threatens their lives. Only their expert training will allow them to survive a near-impossible mission -- breaking into CIA headquarters. [more inside]
posted by DirtyOldTown on Jan 9, 2024 - 12 comments

Marty(Ernest Borgnine) is a stout bachelor butcher who lives with his mother (Esther Minciotti) in the Bronx. Always unlucky in love, Marty reluctantly goes out to a ballroom one night and meets a nice teacher named Clara (Betsy Blair). Though Marty and Clara hit it off, his relatives discourage him from pursuing the relationship, and he must decide between his family's approval or a shot at finding romance. [more inside]
posted by DirtyOldTown on Nov 7, 2022 - 4 comments

Re-rewatch! A kid is bored, so his grandfather tells him tales of wonder to entertain him. But the grandpa is Ernest Borgnine, and he tells the kid about Merlin setting up shop in a strip mall and sourcing dangerous magic items to the suburbian public. Starting to see why King Arthur had problems. This is another classic episode from the last season of the classic series. Previously and again.
posted by JHarris on Sep 7, 2022 - 4 comments

At a U.S. Army base in 1941 Hawaii, a private is cruelly punished for not boxing on his unit's team, while his commanding officer's wife and top aide begin a tentative affair. [more inside]
posted by Carillon on Dec 29, 2021 - 6 comments

Rewatch! Like some mirror universe version of The Princess Bride, a grandfather tells stories to his grandson, but THIS grandfather is Ernest Borgnine, and THESE stories are horrible tales of soul-draining magic and deadly cursed monkeys, and THIS kid isn't getting any sleep tonight. A highlight of the Sci-Fi Channel run, we're closing in on the most popular episodes now.... Previously.
posted by JHarris on Aug 21, 2019 - 4 comments

"In a world where magic truly exists, anything can happen." What if... someone made a movie like The Princess Bride, except instead of Peter Falk he could only get Ernest Borgnine, and instead of a charming and witty tale he had two mediocre made-for-TV fantasy-horror movies, and the kid instead of going to sleep with dreams of high adventure and romance was instead left with nightmares of demonic familiars and cursed deadly toy monkeys? In a world where schlock truly exists anything can happen. I love this one, it's all so bizarre and inexplicable. It's easy to make fun of Ernest Borgnine (hell, I do it too) but he had a long career and seemed like a good guy. In subplot land Pearl performs an experiment on Mike and co. for the Mad Science accreditation board. Taste the rainbow of fruit pain! Merlin's Shop of Mystical Wonders is available on YouTube. Premiered September 12, 1999. By the way: this was the last new episode of MST3K to appear on the Sci-Fi channel, actually showing after the series conclusion. Ten episodes left. [more inside]
posted by JHarris on Feb 28, 2018 - 7 comments

Truckers form a mile long "convoy" in support of a trucker's vendetta with an abusive sheriff...Based on the country song of same title by C.W. McCall. [more inside]
posted by valkane on Jun 3, 2016 - 11 comments

A one-handed stranger comes to a tiny town possessing a terrible past they want to keep secret, by violent means if necessary. [more inside]
posted by MoonOrb on Jun 3, 2016 - 4 comments

An aging group of outlaws look for one last big score as the "traditional" American West is disappearing around them. [more inside]
posted by MoonOrb on May 18, 2016 - 1 comment

After a plane crash in the Sahara, one of the survivors says he's an airplane designer and they can make a flyable plane from the wreckage. [more inside]
posted by MoonOrb on May 14, 2016 - 3 comments

In 1997, when the US President crashes into Manhattan, now a giant maximum security prison, a convicted bank robber is sent in for a rescue. [more inside]
posted by MoonOrb on Mar 10, 2016 - 14 comments

After receiving a call from Harry McGraw asking for help, Jessica rushes to Boston, only to discovers that he wants her to put up some money to sponsor a prize fighter, Blaster Boyle, in an upcoming fight. When the promoter of Blaster's opponent is found dead and Harry is the prime suspect, Jessica has her hands full trying to prove Harry's innocence while training Blaster for his upcoming fight. [more inside]
posted by filthy light thief on Mar 12, 2015 - 1 comment