9 posts tagged with jackpalance.
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Movie: Bagdad Cafe
German tourist Jasmin Munchgstettner (Marianne Sägebrecht) argues with her husband after car trouble strands them along a dusty highway in the American Southwest. Fuming, she storms off and travels by foot to the nearest outpost of civilization -- the Bagdad Café. Upon arriving, she butts heads with the owner (CCH Pounder), but they soon forge an unlikely friendship. What begins as a few days' respite becomes a prolonged stay as Jasmine finds her niche within this eccentric truck-stop community. [more inside]
Movie: Alone in the Dark
A quartet of murderous psychopaths break out of a mental hospital during a power blackout and lay siege to their doctor's house. The positively stacked cast includes Martin Landau, Jack Palance, Donald Pleasence, and Dwight Schultz. [more inside]
Mystery Science Theater 3000: H.G. WELLS' THE SHAPE OF THINGS TO COME Season 13, Ep 10
"Beyond the earth... beyond the moon... beyond your wildest imagination!" It's the future in space, and there's a plague, and important drugs are being brought from a distant planet, and Jack Palance is trying to take over the universe, and there's a teleporting robot, and some kids in one scene. I couldn't make heads or tails of this one folks. There's a plot synopsis on Wikipedia, read that. It's another movie that tried to cash in on Star Wars' gigantic success. It's not nearly as campy as Starcrash, but that makes it very bland as a film. Even with Jack Palance as the villain, he's simply not in enough scenes to make it memorable. Other than sharing some character names and being set in the future, this movie has almost nothing to do with H.G. Wells' novel. Premiered October 7, 2022, in the Gizmoplex. [more inside]
In a small Wyoming town, the ranchers, led by the Ryker brothers, try to intimidate homesteaders to force them out of the valley, but the homesteaders are held together by the determination of Joe Starrett (Van Heflin), who wants to build a life on the land for his family. Into this tension rides Shane (Alan Ladd), an enigmatic stranger who is befriended by the Starretts. The laconic Shane hopes for a quiet life, joining the community of homesteaders. As the tension increases, Shane begins to fear that the only hope for his new friends is for him to return to violent ways he meant to leave behind. [more inside]
Mystery Science Theater 3000: ANGELS REVENGE Rewatch Season 6, Ep 22
Re-rewatch! Welcome back to the seventies, where a bunch of women in sheer garments could single-handedly take on militias and drug dealers and the only casualty they suffer would be their teenage girl member, and who would just be knocked out, not die or anything. A large amount of low-level star power in this one, including the likes of Jim Backus, Alan Hale Jr. and Pat Buttram. Previously and again.
Mystery Science Theater 3000: OUTLAW Rewatch Season 5, Ep 19
Rewatch! There's a "counter-Earth" that's on the opposite side of the sun as the normal Earth, the same gimmick from Stranded in Space, but this one's not Authoritarian Dystopia (movie premise #218) so much as Burroughsian Otherworld Barbarian-Style Sword-and-Sorcery Made Possible Through MacGuffin (premise #245). Our many-man hero Cabot (Cabot? Cabot!) travels there through magic crackerjack prize, along with his unmanly-man professorial colleague, and must thwart the machinations of a slumming Jack Palance. Previously.
Mystery Science Theater 3000: ANGELS REVENGE Season 6, Ep 22
aka Angels' Brigade. "They're Blow You Away!" Seven young women in skintight clothes unconvincingly battle right-wing militia and neighborhood drug dealers. An obvious knockoff of Charlie's Angels, the slime just drips off this movie. In addition to Jim Backus (Misters Howell and Magoo), this movie also has Alan Hale Jr. (The Skipper!), a return appearance by Jack Palance, and also Pat "Mr. Haney" Buttram, Peter Lawford and Arthur Godfrey as himself. This one hurts. YouTube (1h32m) Premiered March 11, 1995. [more inside]
Mystery Science Theater 3000: OUTLAW Season 5, Ep 19
aka "Outlaw of Gor," "Gor II." "The Adventure of a Thousand Lifetimes Continues!" "Fuera de la Ley de GOR" While John Carter fell asleep in a cave and woke up on Mars, one thing author John Norman's creation Gor has over Burroughs' Barsoom books is that at least Tarl Cabot has a magic ring to explain his ridiculous translocation to Barbarian Planet. You know Barbarian Planet, it's a world based on one of those oft-written-about fantasy times that never really existed historically, but all kinds of folk like to imagine, from Howard to Gygax. Well, at least this version has Jack Palance! When this episode aired, the movie was just four years old! I'm not sure it ever got a release in theaters in the US. Although he did it under a pseudonym, the main screenwriter is the same Harry Alan Towers who did the screenplay for 323 THE CASTLE OF FU MANCHU. Fortunately this movie is tons more watchable, thanks to massive amounts of flesh (both male and female, it's an equal opportunity exhibitor) and excellent riffing. One of the host segments refers to all the skin, one of the best sketches and songs MST ever did: Tubular Boobular Joy. Notes on Gor itself are after the break. Official YouTube, with annotations! (1h32m) Premiered December 11, 1993. If you want to fill in the blanks with the movie this is a sequel to (may god have mercy on your soul), here it is! (1h30m) [more inside]
Movie: Bram Stoker's Dracula
In 1897, A Transylvanian nobleman named Count Dracula is buying up property around London for mysterious purposes. [more inside]