Mystery Science Theater 3000: BEYOND ATLANTIS
May 9, 2022 7:53 PM - Season 13, Episode 3 - Subscribe

"Forgotten by nature... invaded by modern man... half human... half fish!" ""Their spawning ground... the ocean depths!" Some people go to an island in search of pearls: Vic, the similar-looking Logan, Kathy and "East Eddie." It's populated by an inbred race of people, supposedly from Atlantis. Only one of them is fertile, the daughter of the chief, Syrene. A lot of movies from around this time were obsessed with fertility for some reason. Ultimately Syrene dies, dooming the island race to extinction. They march into the sea, but one of our "heroes" gets a fortune of pearls from them as they go. But after some intrigue between the group they're lost overboard. Everyone laughs. "Ha ha, those islanders are going to die and for no reason! Easy come easy go!" Not an uplifting movie. This is the first episode with Emily riffing, on the "Simulator of Love," with her own Crow, Tom Servo, GPC, and "GPC2," a smaller and more maneuverable version. Premiered on the Gizmoplex on March 8, 2022 (after a preview some weeks earlier).

Episode 1303
Rotten Tomatoes (Critics N/A, Audiences 23%) Wikipedia
IMDB (1973, 4.2 stars)
"A band of adventurers invade a native island determined to grab a reported fortune in buried treasure. The islanders are just as determined to keep their sacred treasure. Complications ensue."

Directed by Eddie Romero. Written by Charles Eric Johnson and Stephanie Rothman. Starring Patrick Wayne, John Ashley, Leigh Christian, and Sid Haig as East Eddie.

Wikipedia says:
The film was described by cult filmmaker David DeCoteau as "one of the very few family-oriented B movies to come out of the Philippines"; this was due to star Wayne's insistence that the film be accessible to families
So apparently East Eddie's dirtbag persona was considered acceptable for children! The cockfight? Pure kiddie fun! The Atlantean carelessly throwing the baby goat into the piranha water? Not considered harmful to impressionable youth!
posted by JHarris (5 comments total)
In Servo's words: "All the animals were hurt during the making of this movie."
posted by JHarris at 7:53 PM on May 9, 2022 [3 favorites]

I've been waiting for you to post this. I LOVED this one. It had two of my favorite riffs that made me burst out laughing.

The first was "Silence, non-blonde"

The second was the game show sketch, where two of the answers were "Marlon Brando". I am not even sure why I found that so funny, but I am giggling now thinking about it.
posted by wittgenstein at 9:18 AM on May 10, 2022 [2 favorites]

Back when Cinematic Titanic did "Danger on Tiki Island", John Ashley played such a decent guy. Seeing him play the biggest asshole in a group was quite a switch, especially since said group included a Sid Haig character.

The sketches were mostly just fine, but I'm really looking forward to more from Emily. She was hysterical in the live show.
posted by AlonzoMosleyFBI at 3:49 AM on May 11, 2022 [2 favorites]

I enjoyed the "Look upon me!"/"Ha ha--made you look upon me" riff.

I'm not sure how I feel about this Crow...the actor seems to be trying too hard, if that makes any sense, and some of the riffs felt like they were basically just restating what was on screen. I'll keep watching, though.
posted by Mr. Bad Example at 4:30 AM on May 11, 2022 [1 favorite]

I'm pretty sure they were legally required to put the "Can't we just get Beyond Atlantis?" riff in there. Luckily they didn't even have to tie Mike up this time.

It took me a bit to warm up to SimCrow's voice (and I noticed a lot of complaints during the livestream), but on second I was pretty much fine with it.

Another comment during the livestream was that the sketches were pretty heavy on East Eddie, presumably because there's so little other than East Eddie going on in the movie. (Personally I think the movie should've called him West Eddie, like when you call a big guy Tiny.)
posted by ckape at 9:50 PM on May 12, 2022 [2 favorites]

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