FanFare

MST Club presents! Some years ago Rifftrax piloted a means by which people could record riffs for movies themselves that they'd sell through the site, a program that they called iRiffs. It appears that iRiffs can no longer be found on Rifftrax site searches, but Google can still turn up the pages, and they can still be bought. That is how I purchased this riff of ill-advised Sean Connery vehicle Zardoz, produced by a group known as FilmRoasters. I don't know if FilmRoasters is still active, but they have a Youtube channel, which the address filmroasters.com redirects to. The most recent videos on the Youtube channel are six years old. I don't know how old the Zardoz riff is, but if it's six years old that would put its release at around 1998. FilmRoasters appears to be comprised of Eric Vinyard, Brandon Bates and Wes Allen.
posted by JHarris on Oct 3, 2024 - 3 comments

MST Club Presents! The Rifftrax to a certain Star Wars backstory movie. A nobody smuggler called Han Solo teams up with a walking carpet to carry out a heist. Directed by Ron Howard! The riff was released on December 21, 2018.
posted by JHarris on Sep 5, 2024 - 0 comments

For a change we're doing a "Just The Jokes" riff. The way these work, you use your audio player of choice to play the MP3 of Mike, Kevin and Bill along with the movie of your choice. Follow Mike's directions on when to start the file, then listen for "Disembaudio," their distinctive synthesized voice, to speak a line of dialog at the same time as a character in the movie. If Disembaudio speaks slightly early, pause the audio file for just a moment, and if the movie's early, pause it momentarily instead. Or alternatively, you can use the free Rifftrax app to do the syncing for you on your smartphone. Rifftrax got their start doing Just The Jokes riffs like these 18 years ago as an end run around releasing commentary on movies they didn't have rights to, and while these days they tend to focus on movies that they can legally mix their riffs directly into, they still release new ones from time to time. As for the movie, Ready Player One is a big ol' pandering mess that they managed to get Steven Spielberg to direct. Much of it is set in a virtual world where every 80s and 90s media property owned or licensed by Warner Bros can all interact, making it a special kind of crossover hell. I realize that sounds like Space Jam: A New Legacy, but that was actually three years after this movie. The riff was released October 18, 2018.
posted by JHarris on Aug 15, 2024 - 1 comment

MST Club presents! While one of the absolute worst movies ever to be featured on Mystery Science Theater 3000, The Creeping Terror isn't nearly as well known as Manos "Everyone Loves Torgo" the Hands of Fate, or Monster "Couldn't Think of An Ending" A Go-Go, or any of the Coleman Francis trilogy. This is a shame though, as The Creeping Terror features absolutely the most ludicrous headline monster of any MST'd movie, essentially a carpet with vacuum cleaner hoses attached to it, that eats victims by apparent dint of them actively crawling into its mouth. MST3K tackled the Terror while both Frank Conniff and Trace Beaulieu were still at Best Brains, so this is a second trip through this film for both of them. Riffed December 12, 2023, and available either standalone (for about $12) or part of a collection of nine other MST-featured items (70 bucks).
posted by JHarris on Aug 1, 2024 - 1 comment

The Man does The Madster, uh, the Mads do The Manster in a riff from just a few days ago on June 11, 2024. An American journalist in Japan is given an injection by a mad scientist that causes him to develop an extra eye... that develops into an extra head... that eventually develops into an entirely separate person, and he's EEEEVIL. But Master Manster couldn't past muster even as a Munster mister.
posted by JHarris on Jun 20, 2024 - 0 comments

MST Club presents! A riff released in August 2023 of a Japanese movie made in 1967. One of the sillier-looking kaiju of riffdom, the promotional text describes the monster as looking like what the result would be if Gonzo ever sealed the deal with Camilla. The monster is the result of space spores, so beware if you have space allergies, or "spallergies."
posted by JHarris on Jun 13, 2024 - 1 comment

MST Club presents.... Okay, this one requires some explanation. MST Club has lately been doing "expanded universe" riffs, like Rifftrax and The Mads Are Back, but has also been presenting fan-made riffing productions, like this one. Many old fanriffs are lost to the ages, sadly, but this one is quite recent, like two-weeks-ago recent! Mining Accident Theater is the story of Bogdan Smithee, a person trapped in an abandoned mine, with nothing but coworker Tom MacDonald and stranded rescuer Katherine Sprakehunter, and a bunch of old filmreels, to keep them company. There's no "Shadowrama" effect, their comments are just voiceovers. Up to this point MAT has only riffed shorts. This is their first attempt at riffing a full movie, and it's a doozy. It doozes. It's Alfonso Bresca's WAR OF THE ROBOTS, a movie where the robot army is composed of bodybuilders with Prince Valiant haircuts, the ultimate evil lady leader is named "Lois," and... well, you should see it for youself. On Youtube. Here. (1 hour 42 minutes) It was released April 2024. [more inside]
posted by JHarris on May 9, 2024 - 0 comments

MST Club presents this 2022 riff of a 1961 movie. It's referred to as Season 3, episode 1 of The Mads Are Back. A mysterious rogue planet called The Outsider is approaching the Earth, and everything but Professor Benson thinks it'll hit! Prof Benson is right, but that's only the beginning of Earth's problems. At the end, a little dog is sad.
posted by JHarris on Apr 11, 2024 - 1 comment

MST Club presents! We're going back and forth between The Mads and Rifftrax in this phase of our riff watching project. This week Rifftrax is up, with the movie Prisoners of the Lost Universe. You may have seen a bit of it before: when Film Ventures International repurposed Ator the Fighting Eagle into Cave Dwellers, they gave it a generic fantasy scene behind the opening credits: that, it turns out, was from Prisoners of the Lost Universe. IMDB says: "Three people are transported into a parallel reality, where they find they must use modern technology, but medieval weapons, in order to save the citizenry from a murderous warlord." Selective technology, got it. For more on Rifftrax, see inside. This riff was released in 2012. [more inside]
posted by JHarris on Mar 7, 2024 - 2 comments

The Mads are Trace Beaulieu, who played Dr. Clayton Forrester and was the original voice and performer for Crow on Mystery Science Theater 3000, and Frank "TV's Frank" Conniff. They partner with Dumb Industries to riff movies and shorts! We are doing some of their shows in our continuing exploration of the wider universe of riffing. Their most recent show was Mutiny In Outer Space. The Commander of Space Station X-7 has come down with a bad case of space raptures, and his crew has to mutiny to save their station from being destroyed.
posted by JHarris on Feb 22, 2024 - 3 comments

What, again? Before the new MST show covered Starcrash, Mystery Fandom Theater 3000 did it, and that's what we're watching tonight!
posted by JHarris on Jan 4, 2024 - 2 comments

We're in the final weeks of MST Club's ten-year mostly-weekly run, although we'll probably do other shows from time to time. Tonight's episode is the second Film Crew production (R.I.P. Mike Dodge), about a guy who's killed in a crash, kidnapped by aliens, then forced to aid them in their plans for world domination... which involves irradiated giant lizards. It's like the backstory to a kaiju movie.
posted by JHarris on Nov 9, 2023 - 1 comment

MST Club's quick jaunt through Cinematic Titanic continues. The movie's about aliens landing and attacking the residents of a small town. In the world of cinema, this appears to be a statistically significant problem.
posted by JHarris on Oct 5, 2023 - 2 comments

"A visual science fiction experience that will boggle your mind." "SPACE VISION a step beyond 3-D" This is one of those movies that makes nonsensical and arbitrary things happen, but tries to excuse it by passing them off as mysterious. Well duh, anything's a mystery if there's no possible explanation for it! A plane with three people (one of the a pregnant woman) is downed by a storm, but ends up inside a huge hollow chamber with invisible walls, in which live zombie-like people who go through the motions of their lives. Like The Mask, this was made for 3D, so there's a bunch of in-your-face effects. Unlike that film though, only the 2D version is riffed on here. Joel riffs this one! The subplot has Jonah, Emily and Joel planning their escape, through the gimmick that the Mads, for some reason, can't hear anything spoken in rhyme. I like the episode, but the movie basically just toys with its characters throughout, until the unexpectedly happy ending. Premiered November 11, 2022, in the Gizmoplex. [more inside]
posted by JHarris on Jul 27, 2023 - 0 comments

Rewatch! In space, things happen. There's a plague and Jack Palance is evil, and at one point his holographic head is gigantic and rotating over the landscape of an alien planet, and there's a really annoying robot that can teleport wherever it wants it seems. H.G. Wells fans, well, won't actually have much to enjoy here, the movie's kind of dull and doesn't really have much to do with his writing. The movie's a mess. Previously.
posted by JHarris on Jul 13, 2023 - 4 comments

Rewatch! Not The Wild Wild World Of, this is just The Batwoman. In fact, The Mexican The Batwoman. She follows the natural career upgrade path south of the border, from luchador to superhero. Her mission is to stop a mad scientist from creating a race of fish people. Bats and fish: natural enemies. Previously.
posted by JHarris on Jun 29, 2023 - 1 comment

Rewatch! One of a dwindling number to go at this point. It's one of those sci-fi movies whose grand vision of the future is largely today but like with multinational consortiums and giant robots. There's even a major location that's just a normal town circa the movie's making, passed off as a preserved ghost town and tourist location. Warning, there's an appallingly misogynistic character who's intended by the movie to be seen as a lovable scamp. Feh, meh, pleh, bleah. Previously. [more inside]
posted by JHarris on May 17, 2023 - 0 comments

Rewatch! Some things happen, or do they? One of the most nonsensical movies in Mystery Science Theater 3000's ancient pantheon of nonsense. As oneswellfoop wrote, "It's like all the temporal paradoxes over the entire run of Doctor Who, Quantum Leap, DC's Legends of Tomorrow, Irwin Allen's Time Tunnel, the Back to the Future movies and the episode of Babylon 5 where Babylon 4 reappeared all converged on one isolated location and didn't have clue what to do next so they ordered pizza." The episode has the return of J. Elvis Weinstein as Dr. Erhardt! Previously.
posted by JHarris on Apr 20, 2023 - 1 comment

Rewatch! People find a hyperintelligent lifeform in the ocean, and it's turning people into blobs! The opinions from MeFites the last time this one came up ran the gamut. Some were happy that it was a genuinely bad movie instead of a knockoff like 1201 and 2; someone mention that is a knockoff, of The Abyss; some liked it; some found it DULL. There's a fun during-movie song in this one, with a psychedelic tone.Previously.
posted by JHarris on Apr 13, 2023 - 1 comment

Rewatch! The Asylum is an infamous studio I'm a bit conflicted about. It's true, I've seen a lot of their films, despite finding it challenging to make it through a lot of them. Many of them aren't what I'd call good. But they continue to make movie after movie, even after all this time, despite it being a difficult craft, doggedly doing what they want no matter what people tell them. I admire that. And they made Z Nation, which people generally liked. Well, this is more typical of their output: a movie based loosely upon, and named similarly to, a big-budget movie, released straight to disk. This one has pretty unlikable characters. It's the second movie of "The Gauntlet," MST3K's short 12th season. Previously.
posted by JHarris on Apr 6, 2023 - 1 comment

Rewatch! A disturbingly malleable, bubble-gum-like alien and their family get stuck on Earth and befriend a wheelchair-riding boy in this notable box-office failure. Chris Pratt seems to like it though! Season 12 ties Season 7 for the shortest season of MST3K. This is the first episode of "The Gauntlet," a series of MST3K episodes designed to be binged, although that'd be over nine hours of riffed film, so good luch surviving that. Unlike the previous episodes, I only posted each MST3K episode from Season 12 once, so less of a retread this time! Previously.
posted by JHarris on Mar 30, 2023 - 8 comments

Re-rewatch! Once again, it's the last episode of Season 11, the first Netflix season. People go to the center of Edgar Rice Burroughs Earth and meet dinos and cavefolk. It's Growler's first episode, and the episode of Kinga's ratings-stunt marriage that never ends up happening. It ends on a kind of cliffhanger, but Jonah's okay, he's outside the SOL in a space suit. Previously and again.
posted by JHarris on Mar 23, 2023 - 1 comment

Re-rewatch! A German U-boat sings a passenger vessel, but rescues survivors. The strife between the two groups is set aside when they find a land peopled by prehistoric people and dinosaurs. Previously and again
posted by JHarris on Feb 2, 2023 - 1 comment

Re-re-rewatch! (what, really?) Stella Star is a star rogue kind of lady, whose second-in-command and guy-pal Akton also seems to have weird space powers. Anyway, they're on the run from the Space Law, until the Emperor of the Universe wants them to track down his lost son amidst the "Haunted Stars." If this seems awfully random, trust me, it's only the beginning. By the end there's amazons with a giant lady robot with metal breasts, a Texan-speaking law robot, the evil Count Zarth Arn, and much much more. A legendary ridiculous movie, and prime fodder for Jonah and a pair of wisecracking robots. Previously, again, and one more time. [more inside]
posted by JHarris on Jan 26, 2023 - 5 comments

Re-rewatch! Continuing with the first streaming season, some scientists are trapped in the future because of Danny. Thanks, Danny. Previously and again.
posted by JHarris on Dec 15, 2022 - 1 comment

"Beyond the earth... beyond the moon... beyond your wildest imagination!" It's the future in space, and there's a plague, and important drugs are being brought from a distant planet, and Jack Palance is trying to take over the universe, and there's a teleporting robot, and some kids in one scene. I couldn't make heads or tails of this one folks. There's a plot synopsis on Wikipedia, read that. It's another movie that tried to cash in on Star Wars' gigantic success. It's not nearly as campy as Starcrash, but that makes it very bland as a film. Even with Jack Palance as the villain, he's simply not in enough scenes to make it memorable. Other than sharing some character names and being set in the future, this movie has almost nothing to do with H.G. Wells' novel. Premiered October 7, 2022, in the Gizmoplex. [more inside]
posted by JHarris on Oct 15, 2022 - 1 comment

Rewatch! Yet another guy named Paul turns into a monster in this movie; it's the fourth such movie in MST's history! The others are The Crawling Hand, The Projected Man and Werewolf. Note that Cry Wilderness is not included, the Paul in that movie is just friends with a monster. Anyway, the episode is not on many best-of lists, but it's generally fondly remembered. Previously.
posted by JHarris on Oct 6, 2022 - 7 comments

Rewatch! A guy from the future travels back in time, but is chased by Robert Z'Dar. As Crow says, in the movie, it's not the future, and there's no war. There is a nun! Previously.
posted by JHarris on Sep 15, 2022 - 3 comments

Rewatch! A benevolent blob from outer space gives Earth kids unearthly powers in order to prevent war. It contains Jackie "Uncle Fester" Coogan! Has the short Century 21 Calling, which is set at the Chicago World's Fair and tries to get us excited about the future of landline phones. Previously.
posted by JHarris on Jun 30, 2022 - 2 comments

Rewatch! An astronaut ends up on a distant asteroid and is shrunk down to the size of its inhabitants, joins their society, but then it's all destroyed. So uplifting! Previously.
posted by JHarris on Jun 2, 2022 - 0 comments

Rewatch! A scientist invents a teleporter and tests it on himself. He doesn't turn into a fly or get stuck halfway out a wall, which I understand are the usual fates for those who tamper in physical law, but instead becomes a mutated monster with a deadly touch. He could have just gotten up to get the remote control like a normal person, but oh well! Lembach is staying! Pearl & henchpeople & the SOL end up in present day Earth, above an ominously familiar castle. Oh no, Lembach is going! Previously.
posted by JHarris on May 26, 2022 - 1 comment

Re-rewatch! A supremely goofy movie that doesn't make much sense, with an excellent actor (Raul Julia), some sub-Doctor Who special effects, and great riffing combine to make a classic episode! It's the last episode of Season 8. Technically Pearl is still chasing the SOL but that's kind of forgotten to make room for one of the best sequences of host segments the show ever did, where Pearl creates a completely spurious public television telethon. And don't forget: get your monkeys, instantly, at Instant Monkeys Online! Previously and again.
posted by JHarris on May 19, 2022 - 4 comments

Re-rewatch! A guy invents a time machine using a small airplane and an 8-bit computer, but sells the tech to EvilCo. Good job! It's quaint that the movie believes a person working on his own without vast resources could invent something that a huge corporate behemoth couldn't. The roman times subplot is over on the SOL, this and the next episode are just sort of "in space" before we reach Castle Forrester in Season 9. Previously and again.
posted by JHarris on May 12, 2022 - 3 comments

Re-rewatch! Slab Bulkhead! Fridge Largemeat! Punt Speedchunk! Butch Deadlift! Bold Bigflank! Splint Chesthair! Flint Ironstag! Bolt Vanderhuge! Thick McRunfast! Blast Hardcheese! Previously and again. [more inside]
posted by JHarris on May 5, 2022 - 6 comments

Rewatch! Preposterous robots from space attack the Earth, and only Space Chief and some kids can save us. Uses stock footage of aerial bombardment of Japan to represent the attack. Prince of Space was the light-side of Japanese filmmaking in Season 8. This one is the dark side. It's a difficult film to make it through. I think it should be noted that some people think Mike and the bots' commentary on Japan crosses the line of acceptability in this one. Previously.
posted by JHarris on Apr 28, 2022 - 0 comments

Re-rewatch! Monsters created by radiation lumber ashore to attack the population of old teenagers. Their savior? As always, the magic metal: SODIUM. Previously and again.
posted by JHarris on Apr 14, 2022 - 0 comments

Re-rewatch! The evil organization of this movie raises dumb clones of important people, like senators, to serve as sources of spare body parts. It was the kind of movie premise that seemed plausible in 1979, I guess. What happens when the senator gets voted out? Costs a lot of money to keep a clone in feed when it might not even be needed. In subplot news, Pearl and minions babysit a trio of god children. Previously, and again.
posted by JHarris on Mar 3, 2022 - 7 comments

Rewatch! Not as terrible a movie as usually featured on the show, this has Michael Landon as the titular preadult dogboy. Much later, he'd return to the role, in a way, in the Highway to Heaven episode I Was a Middle-Aged Werewolf. In continuity, Pearl, Bobo and new accompanier Brain Guy are on "camping world." Previously.
posted by JHarris on Feb 17, 2022 - 1 comment

Rewatch! Because in the 50s even our creatures had to be obviously gendered. A lady is hypnotized and, as all hypnotized people do, summons a lobster woman. It's the last episode on Observer World before Mike destroys it. Oops! Previously.
posted by JHarris on Feb 10, 2022 - 2 comments

Rewatch! Scientists invent a time machine. Lady comes from the future, where apparently most people are sterile, in order to take fertile men back with her. If there's anything these movies have taught me, it's that the future causes impotency. But she kills a nurse in order to take her place, because the future causes psychopathy too. In the show's "plot," we're still in Observer world. Previously.
posted by JHarris on Jan 26, 2022 - 1 comment

Rewatch! Albinos oppress humanoid creatures beneath the surface of the Earth, and the situation is remedied by white guys from the surface. Warning: contains The Load. Previously. [more inside]
posted by JHarris on Jan 6, 2022 - 3 comments

Re-rewatch! A kid living out in the desert gets a ray gun that also turns him green, and he takes out his frustrations in an orgy of laser violence against innocent Star Wars signs, until goofy lizard aliens stop him. It's the last episode of the Comedy Central era of the show. Previously and again.
posted by JHarris on Dec 2, 2021 - 12 comments

Rewatch! One of MST3K's Double Adjective Man movies, the others being The Amazing Colossal Man, Teenage Cave Man and Amazing Transparent Man. (There's also Indestructable Man, The Brute Man, The Projected Man and, of course, The Pumaman.) An astronaut returns to Earth and is affected by something that makes him kill people, kind of like a slightly more competent Monster A-Go-Go. In the host segments, Crow shepherds his movie Earth Vs. Soup to completion and through focus groups, a sequence inspired in no small part by Best Brains' experiences in getting MST3K The Movie made. Previously.
posted by JHarris on Nov 11, 2021 - 4 comments

Rewatch! A dead astronaut comes back down to Earth, not-dead but infested by aliens who plan to use his body as a spearhead to invade Earth. Is it just me or is that a weird plan? Also with a short, Once Upon A Honeymoon, which naturally has to do with telephones. We re-enter the series after The Movie, without Frank and now with new regular Pearl Forrester. It's the beginning of Season 7, only six episodes long and the last hurrah of the show on Comedy Central. Previously.
posted by JHarris on Oct 21, 2021 - 3 comments

Re-rewatch! Time to watch a carpet eat half a small town again! The great thing about this movie is nothing. The great thing about this episode is that the movie is so goofy and nonsensical that it's watchable on its own just to try to figure out whatever the hell is coming next. The riffs add onto that. This is unquestionably in the worst-of-the-worst pile, a bona-fide cinematic un-chievement. Previously and again.
posted by JHarris on Jun 3, 2021 - 1 comment

Rewatch! At least I think it is, this is one of those movies it's easy to forget exists for some reason. This is another of those movies where half of the time amounts to: "Gee whiz! Space!" There's a lot of preparing and rocketry and interviews with intrepid scientists and getting ready to let's all go to space. With cats. Then we get to space and meet aliens. Who want our cats. The short, however, is Design for Dreaming, and it's terrific, just completely crazy, bonkers, nutso, a highlight of the show's entire run. Previously.
posted by JHarris on Apr 22, 2021 - 1 comment

Rewatch! An old rich lady decides to use her considerable resources, including her own mad scientist and a nuclear reactor in her basement (wow, really?), to have her brain swapped into the body of one of three younger women. The eventual result? Let's just say she better hope she can develop a taste for Meow Mix. Previously.
posted by JHarris on Mar 18, 2021 - 0 comments

Rewatch! On of the more entertaining of the episodes featuring the 50s monster attack genre of movie. Huge grasshoppers attack (a postcard of) Chicago while the army is helpless against the giant insect menace. Directed by Bert I. Gordon, Mr. BIG himself. Previously.
posted by JHarris on Mar 11, 2021 - 2 comments

Rewatch! A brilliant scientist is thought of as "mad," and only because he saves his girlfriend's severed head when she is killed in a car crash, then keeps it alive by setting it in Neck Juice (TM), allowing her to befriend the terrible monster he keeps in his basement while he goes out trying to murder women to provide her with a donor body. But really, is that "mad?" Okay. Yeah, on further reflection I guess it is. Oh, and he has an assistant with his own weird issues. This is Mike Nelson's first episode as host of Mystery Science Theater 3000. Previously.
posted by JHarris on Feb 11, 2021 - 4 comments

Rewatch! EHT! NAMUH! SROTACILPUD! Richard Kiel is an evil space guy who is making duplicates of world leaders in preparation to take over the world. His character here is pretty evil, but Kiel himself was a real sweetheart. Previously
posted by JHarris on Nov 7, 2020 - 1 comment