Brooklyn Nine-Nine: The Tattler Season 6, Ep 3
Jake and Gina attend their 20th high school reunion. Back at the Nine-Nine, Charles helps Rosa with her love life. Also: crinkling noises. [more inside]
Brooklyn Nine-Nine: Honeymoon Season 6, Ep 1
The Nine-Nine is back, now on Thursdays on NBC! (Spoiler inside!) [more inside]
Brooklyn Nine-Nine: Show Me Going Season 5, Ep 20
Official Fox synopsis: "When Rosa responds to an active shooter alert, the rest of the squad is forced to stay back, desperately fearing for her safety. Feeling helpless, Jake frantically brainstorms ways to offer his assistance, Terry faces an existential crisis and Gina and Amy try to make themselves useful by fixing Rosa’s broken toilet."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine: Bachelor/ette Party Season 5, Ep 19
Official FOX synopsis: Charles plans an elaborate scavenger hunt for Jake’s bachelor party, but the day goes awry when the guys decide to take some short cuts instead. Meanwhile, Amy’s bachelorette party escalates when the ladies realize she previously slept with a member of her soon-to-be wedding band. [more inside]
Brooklyn Nine-Nine: The Puzzle Master Season 5, Ep 15
Official Fox synopsis: "Jake surprises Amy with an investigation into a string of arsons connected to her favorite crossword puzzle author, Vin Stermley (guest star David Fumero). Meanwhile, Gina helps Holt jazz up his Commissioner candidate speech, and Terry, Rosa, Hitchcock and Scully argue over who is most deserving of the new detective car." [more inside]
Brooklyn Nine-Nine: The Box Season 5, Ep 14
Official Fox synopsis: "Jake embarks on an all-night long interrogation in order to elicit a confession out of a suspect (guest star Sterling K. Brown). But when Captain Holt skips the opera in order to stay back and help, the two cops clash over how to get him to talk."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine: Safe House Season 5, Ep 12
Brooklyn Nine-Nine returns to Sunday nights! Official FOX synopsis: "After Seamus (guest star Paul Adelstein) threatens Kevin (guest star Marc Evan Jackson), Holt devises an elaborate plan to hide him in a safe house, with Jake as his guard. Kevin is miserable as the 99 works overtime to find Seamus and take him down." [more inside]
Brooklyn Nine-Nine: The Favor Season 5, Ep 11
The second half of the midseason-finale double header! Official FOX synopsis: "When Seamus Murphy (guest star Paul Adelstein) returns to redeem the favor Holt owes him, the precinct searches for a loophole that will allow Holt to uphold his end of the bargain without breaking the law."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine: Game Night Season 5, Ep 10
The first half of the midseason-finale double header! Official FOX synopsis: "Rosa begs Jake to help her break some big news to her parents, but her plan is thrown off when they wrongly assume the two are dating." (With special guest star Danny Trejo as Rosa's dad, as well as the long-awaited return of [SPOILER]!)
Brooklyn Nine-Nine: 99 Season 5, Ep 9
Official Fox synopsis: "While the precinct is in Los Angeles to attend a funeral, Capt. Holt learns that he has been chosen to run for Chief Commissioner of the NYPD."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine: Return to Skyfire Season 5, Ep 8
Official FOX synopsis: "When Terry’s favorite author, DC Parlov (guest star Fred Melamed), returns to the precinct because his latest manuscript was stolen, Terry and Jake convince Rosa to go undercover with them at a fantasy fiction convention to find the culprit. As drama ensues between Parlov and another writer (guest star Rob Huebel), Terry admits that he’s been writing a book of his own. Back at the precinct, Holt, Amy and Charles take a forensics course, but Charles’ big mouth gets him in trouble."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine: Two Turkeys Season 5, Ep 7
Official FOX synopsis: "Jake and Amy attempt to get their parents to bond over Thanksgiving dinner, but their first holiday together as a family does not go well. Meanwhile, at the precinct, Holt and Kevin’s special Thanksgiving pie is stolen from his office and Holt searches through the ranks for the possible culprit."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine: The Venue Season 5, Ep 6
Official FOX synopsis: "The always unwelcome Vulture (guest star Dean Winters) pops back into Jake and Amy’s lives, threatening to swoop in and take something important away from them. Meanwhile, Boyle and Rosa must track down 'Sergeant Peanut Butter,' the kidnapped NYPD horse that Charles envies, and Holt challenges Terry to be less image-conscious."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine: Bad Beat Season 5, Ep 5
Official FOX synopsis: To track down the infamous arms dealer Dan “Daniel” Valdano (guest star David Figlioli), Jake and Terry go undercover at an illegal gambling club, but when Holt gets involved to coach the two in the art of poker, his addiction resurfaces. Meanwhile, Boyle buys a food truck that was formerly used in a brutal string of murders without telling his investor, Amy, and Hitchcock and Scully challenge Rosa to a “Butt-lympics”.
Brooklyn Nine-Nine: Kicks Season 5, Ep 3
Official FOX synopsis: "Now that he’s officially back at the precinct and desperate to solve a real case, Jake finds a loophole to get out of his temporarily designated desk duty. Unfortunately, that loophole rests on his ability to pass an official evaluation performed by Holt. While Charles provides Jake with moral support, Terry and Amy help Rosa, who believes Pimento may be cheating on her."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine: The Big House, Pt. 2 Season 5, Ep 2
Official FOX synopsis: "When the warden (guest star Toby Huss) asks Jake to investigate Romero’s (guest star Lou Diamond Phillips) drug smuggling operation, Jake and Caleb (guest star Tim Meadows) find themselves caught between the loyalty Jake has sworn to both of them. Meanwhile, Amy is offered a deal by a local mobster who claims he can prove that Hawkins (guest star Gina Gershon) is guilty, but Holt and the rest of the gang think they have a safer plan."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine: The Big House, Pt. 1 Season 5, Ep 1
Official FOX synopsis: "Jake and Rosa assimilate to their new lives behind bars, but both are coping in very different ways. Jake bonds with his cellmate, Caleb (guest star Tim Meadows), and is forced to join a prison gang led by notorious inmate Romero (guest star Lou Diamond Phillips), in order to gain his protection. Meanwhile, in the women’s prison, Rosa puts Holt and Terry to the test by having them complete outrageous favors for her. Back in the precinct, Amy and Charles are doing all they can to exonerate their colleagues." [more inside]
Brooklyn Nine-Nine: Serve & Protect Season 4, Ep 14
The audit continues at the Nine-Nine, this time under the supervision of Terry's grudge-holding ex-girlfriend. Can Amy and Gina crack the case of the botched breakup? Meanwhile, Jake and Rosa track down a stolen laptop on the set of a detective procedural, with the help(?) of special guest star Nathan Fillion. Elsewhere, Holt and Charles weigh using blackmail to save the precinct from closure.
Brooklyn Nine-Nine: The Audit Season 4, Ep 13
B99 is still alive, and so is Gina! (For certain values of the word "alive".) Facing budget cuts due to falling crime rates, the Nine-Nine is undergoing an audit, courtesy of Amy's ex, Teddy. (You know, the pilsner guy.) Can Jake and Amy survive a jazz brunch? Meanwhile, Terry matches wits with an ornery Japanese copy machine, and Charles uses unconventional tactics to combat the precinct's rodent problem. [more inside]
Brooklyn Nine-Nine: The Fugitive, Part 2 Season 4, Ep 12
B99 fall finale continued! When the ninth and final fugitive -- a triple murderer (guest star Charles Baker) -- eludes the Nine-Nine, Jake has only one person he can go to... [more inside]
Brooklyn Nine-Nine: The Fugitive, Part 1 Season 4, Ep 11
It's time for a two-part Brooklyn Nine-Nine fall finale event! Nine dangerous and desperate fugitives have escaped from a crashed prison van, and the Nine-Nine are on their trail. [more inside]
Brooklyn Nine-Nine: Captain Latvia Season 4, Ep 10
It's Christmastime at the Nine-Nine, and Boyle's adopted son Nikolaj ("NEE-ko-LAAAAHJ") wants a hard-to-get Captain Latvia action figure. Will he and Jake have to bust up the entire Latvian mafia to get that toy? POSSIBLY SO! Meanwhile, Holt tries in vain to get the rest of the squad into harmony for their singing competition against the honey-voiced MTA, and Gina -- ever the taste-maker -- discovers an amazing new musical called Hamilton.
- Trump tries to spin his terrible debate performance by citing terrible, exploitable online polls, and his thin skin somehow gets even thinner, as he casts aspersions on a former Miss USA winner by, well.... Oliver: "That is a candidate for President of the United States urging America to check out a sex tape. Just do me a favor. Look up into the sky right now. Higher. No, higher still. Do you see that? Way up there? Way up above the clouds? That's rock bottom. And we are currently way down here."
- And Now: Newscasters Quoting Movies
- Main Story: Police accountability, or rather its lack, as it turns out that police who use deadly force practically never get called on account for it, due to a variety of increasly infuriating reasons. YouTube (20m)
- And Now: Newscasters Quoting Movies, All Christ Matthews Edition
- More on Wells Fargo, how the company retaliated against whistleblowers who called an internal ethics hotline to warn of wrong-doing. It turns out that the case for ethics had been made by a training video that Wells Fargo themselves had commissioned. The host of that video, it turns out, now works as a writer for Last Week Tonight! He stars in an update for that video. YouTube (4m)
This (last) week:
- The protests in Charlotte over yet another police shooting, and the release of video from the incident.
- Employees for Wells Fargo created a huge number of accounts for people without their knowing, in order to extract fees for those accounts, due to an "aggressive" sales campaign.
- And Now: Wait, Is WCBS2 News at 11 Just Fucking With Us At This Point?
- Main story: The scandals plaguing the Clinton and Trump campaigns, how the Clinton ones tend to be more annoying than truly serious, while the Trump ones tend to all be blockbusters that would doom any other candidate, resulting in scandal fatigue. YouTube (21m)
Moonbeam City: The Strike Visualizer Strikes Again Season 1, Ep 3
Dazzle starts a friendship with an artist. Meanwhile, a killer called the Moonbeam Maniac is terrorizing the city.
This week: Vladimir Putin holds his yearly four-hour marathon Q&A session with the Russian public. Oklahoma volunteer deputy Robert Bates shoots black suspect Eric Harris. In preparation for Earth Day (it's in a week), they took a quick look at the plight of the polar bear; not only is their habitat shrinking, but pollution is threatening the species by weakening male polar bears' pelvic and penile bones. In studio we meet Marshmallow, the Polar Bear With A Broken Penis. And Now: The Most Patient Man On Television Endures The American Public. (That would be Steve Scully of C-SPAN's Washington Journal call-in show.) Main story: Abuses of the US Patent system. (YouTube 11m) And Now: The Continuing Adventures Of The Most Patient Man On Television. And finally, we return to CNN's infamous "end of world" video, with Last Week Tonight's own proposed version (YouTube 7m), narrated by Martin Sheen and featuring footage of an old-time Western saloon peopled by cats.
Brooklyn Nine-Nine: Boyle-Linetti Wedding Season 2, Ep 17
It's the big day for Charles and Gina's parents, and Peralta's in charge of picking up the ring. What could go wrong? Meanwhile, Terry sweats being asked to perform a non-exercise themed wedding ceremony.
Brooklyn Nine-Nine: Stakeout Season 2, Ep 11
The unbreakability of Peralta and Boyle's friendship is tested during an eight-day stakeout. Amy and Gina notice that the main characters in Terry's DIY picture book bear a striking resemblance to themselves. Meanwhile, Capt. Holt's nephew (guest star Nick Cannon) draws Diaz's romantic interest, and everything is awkward. [more inside]
Brooklyn Nine-Nine: Jake and Sophia Season 2, Ep 6
The night before delivering crucial testimony in a diamond heist trial, Peralta accidentally sleeps with the defense attorney (guest star Eva Longoria). Diaz pushes Santiago into running for
onion union rep against Scully. Ex-"poke-buddies" Boyle and Gina go to war over a non-refundable reserved hotel suite, with unexpected results. [more inside]
This week: Hong Kong protests China's increasingly intrusive control. A roundup of silly candidates for Brazil's upcoming mandatory election. Norway drops out of the running for the 2022 Winter Olympics due to excessive IOC demands, leaving China and Kazakhstan as the sole remaining candidates. How Is This Still A Thing: Columbus Day. Main story: police abuse of civil forfeiture (16m MeFi). Special guest: Jeff Goldblum. Jell Goldblum outtake clips (1m).
Brooklyn Nine-Nine: Undercover Season 2, Ep 1
Six months after going undercover with the mob (and confessing his feelings for colleague Amy Santiago) Det. Jake Peralta attempts to take care of the sting operation's final loose end. Capt. Holt torments Santiago, Diaz, and Jeffords with a series of seemingly pointless role-playing drills. Gina and Boyle wrestle with the implications of last season's ill-advised(?) hookup. [more inside]