FanFare

Rewatch! At least I think it is, this is one of those movies it's easy to forget exists for some reason. This is another of those movies where half of the time amounts to: "Gee whiz! Space!" There's a lot of preparing and rocketry and interviews with intrepid scientists and getting ready to let's all go to space. With cats. Then we get to space and meet aliens. Who want our cats. The short, however, is Design for Dreaming, and it's terrific, just completely crazy, bonkers, nutso, a highlight of the show's entire run. Previously.
posted by JHarris on Apr 22, 2021 - 1 comment

Rewatch! Little Ronnie Howard invents a growth "goo" that the angry teens in town get into and cause problems. The last Bert I. Gordon movie MST would cover (as of pre-Season 13). Previously.
posted by JHarris on Apr 15, 2021 - 4 comments

Rewatch! This one's kind of a sleeper. Some teens break out of jail (where teens come from) and menace a farm family. Teens only get more dangerous with age, folks, and these are at least 30. Previously
posted by JHarris on Apr 8, 2021 - 2 comments

Rewatch! The new space-age miracle science of RADAR will solve all problems, including that of catching criminals. The movie is a drag, but riffing on the short, Last Clear Chance, about a policeman who ominously shows up at a family home to issue dire warnings about traffic safety around railroad tracks, is terrific. Previously.
posted by JHarris on Mar 31, 2021 - 2 comments

Re-rewatch! Gor is a desert planet where few people wear much clothes, and our hero Tarl Cabot ("Cabot? Cabot!") travels there from Earth via mystic jewelry, although he doesn't encounter their famous houseplants. Watch our for Jack Palance crapping bigger than any of us. Verily it is a toobular boobular joy! Previously and again.
posted by JHarris on Mar 24, 2021 - 2 comments

Rewatch! An old rich lady decides to use her considerable resources, including her own mad scientist and a nuclear reactor in her basement (wow, really?), to have her brain swapped into the body of one of three younger women. The eventual result? Let's just say she better hope she can develop a taste for Meow Mix. Previously.
posted by JHarris on Mar 18, 2021 - 0 comments

Rewatch! On of the more entertaining of the episodes featuring the 50s monster attack genre of movie. Huge grasshoppers attack (a postcard of) Chicago while the army is helpless against the giant insect menace. Directed by Bert I. Gordon, Mr. BIG himself. Previously.
posted by JHarris on Mar 11, 2021 - 2 comments

Re-rewatch! At the center of the earth lies, apparently, a lost colony of Australians, living, also apparently, in a half-baked version of the techno-dystopia from the Super Mario Bros movie. Into this falls Wanda Saknussemm, played by supermodel Kathy Ireland, here cast as a high-pitched nerd girl. You know those movies where all a young woman has to do to be popular is lose the spectacles and wear a swimsuit? That's the story here, although it also involves falling down a "bottomless pit," running for her life from an oppressive government and their fiendish "Lotto," and a person with three-inch eyelashes. Also: the movie has a sequel, it turns out! Previously, and again.
posted by JHarris on Mar 4, 2021 - 4 comments

Re-rewatch! One of the most bizarre movies MST3K ever did. An opening scene in which three young women hold a strangely officious rite in which they induct a new member into being a "synthetic vampire," which in this world means being part of a crime-fighting organization headed by Batwoman (no relation to any DC Comics characters). But that's only the start of this deeply nonsensical movie, which involves an "atomic hearing air," a seance involving a spirit speaking offensive mock Chinese, and a weird hunchback named Heathcliff. Great riffing, but some people find it difficult to survive this one. Fortunately it comes with one of the show's best shorts, Cheating! Previously and again.
posted by JHarris on Feb 25, 2021 - 5 comments

Rewatch! Someone's strangling teen girls and the blame falls on members a local gang. This is the movie with Mikey, the object of some scorn by the space-trapped human and his automated mocking machines. Has the short "Is This Love?", and you can just imagine how they treat that one. Previously.
posted by JHarris on Feb 17, 2021 - 1 comment

Rewatch! A brilliant scientist is thought of as "mad," and only because he saves his girlfriend's severed head when she is killed in a car crash, then keeps it alive by setting it in Neck Juice (TM), allowing her to befriend the terrible monster he keeps in his basement while he goes out trying to murder women to provide her with a donor body. But really, is that "mad?" Okay. Yeah, on further reflection I guess it is. Oh, and he has an assistant with his own weird issues. This is Mike Nelson's first episode as host of Mystery Science Theater 3000. Previously.
posted by JHarris on Feb 11, 2021 - 4 comments

Re-rewatch! Mitchell is a dull, stupid, unlikable cop. I mean, the movie even says that. The movie seems to be making the point that, all the smart cops would naturally be on the take, so we need dumb ones, and Mitchell, he's just the dumb cop we need. Then it goes and shows us the implications of that by following Mitchell around, like it's trying to tell us, "don't look away, this is necessary!" You could get a really dim view of human nature watching Mitchell. It makes for fine riffing though! This is also Joel's last episode as host of Mystery Science Theater 3000. Previously and again.
posted by JHarris on Feb 4, 2021 - 7 comments

Rewatch! While the name of Roger Corman is often derided on the show, it seems most of the time he produced rather than directed. Well, he directs this one. It's not a bad story I think, about a women whose husband is gunned down, so she becomes sheriff. Um, is that how it works? Alas, she falls in love with a gun hired to kill her. This is Joel's penultimate episode as host, meaning next week: it's Mitchell time. Previously.
posted by JHarris on Jan 28, 2021 - 1 comment

Rewatch! Go get your snausages, it's time to watch MST3K's one and only Lassie movie! Although in this one her name is "Shep," and she's more of a menacing presence than the friendly, loyal and English-understanding collie of TV. Her prospector owner is killed by someone trying to steal his claim, and she wants nothing of it. Ask not for whom the dog growls.... Also has Body Care and Grooming, a short, the last short Joel riffed during his tenure as host. Previously
posted by JHarris on Jan 20, 2021 - 1 comment

Re-rewatch! When James Bond is busy, who you gonna call? Neil Connery, Sean's brother, in this hugely weird Italian spy movie with a bad guy who employs a platoon of evil women, and a hero who's kind of a jerk, although pretty much an invincible one. Previously and again. We're nearing the end of Joel's tenure as host again.
posted by JHarris on Jan 2, 2021 - 3 comments

Re-rewatch! As any child knows, Santa Claus lives in a castle in the sky high above the North Pole, the center of a surveillance network that spans the globe. Living with him is Merlin and an international horde of kids who sing and help him make toys. But the forces of darkness no like this, and so Satan sends his lieutenant Pitch to thwart his gift-giving journey, threatening the lactose-intolerant demon with eating ice cream should he fail. If you think that sounds crazy, it's only the beginning of this profoundly strange movie. Previously and again
posted by JHarris on Dec 23, 2020 - 1 comment

Rewatch! What secrets lie, unknown, in the depths of the California desert? Apparently a caveman, given long life by sulfur water. He falls for a 60s teen, paws at her while her watching father makes sarcastic comments, licks shaving cream with his tongue, and eventually is shot by police and ends up dead in a pool. Remember, now, always, and forever, watch out for snakes. Previously and again
posted by JHarris on Dec 12, 2020 - 6 comments

Rewatch! As multiple observers note, "That's not Sinbad!" It isn't. It's Sadko, a movie production of what was originally an opera, although there are no songs here. The main character was renamed Sinbad because he had better name recognition. All the same, this is an excellent episode of our favorite cowtown puppet show. Previously
posted by JHarris on Dec 10, 2020 - 1 comment

Rewatch! The secret-agentish MST movie that doesn't have Neil Connery, Bart Fargo (Bart Fargo Bart Fargo), an international superthief or was made for TV. It doesn't involve James Bond, but it was made in Italy. Previously
posted by JHarris on Dec 6, 2020 - 1 comment

Rewatch! Lady cop goes undercover in a prison and helps a number of prisoners break out in the hopes they'll lead her to stolen loot. Okay movie, but the short, What To Do On A Date, is excellent riffing. Previously
posted by JHarris on Dec 2, 2020 - 1 comment

Rewatch! Back to Greece, with the original Hercules, starring Steve Reeves! Don't step on all the pecs laying around everywhere! Previously
posted by JHarris on Nov 29, 2020 - 1 comment

Rewatch! A sullen, mumbly, anti-social, anti-heroic loaner (played by That Paper Chase Guy) in a post-apocalyptic world turns out to be the only hope for the future of humanity. It's a whole distasteful genre (Waterworld is a prominent example), but this one contains an extremely irritating talking motorcycle. But at least it's got Donald Pleasence in it. It's the beginning of Season 5 of MST3K, Joel Hodgson's last as host. Previously
posted by JHarris on Nov 22, 2020 - 1 comment

Jimmy is a high-school student who writes essays about how great his family is, but in fact his home life is terrible. So, he goes right out and gets in trouble with the mob. Remember parents, if you don't throw your kid a birthday party they'll go out and crime it up, and lie about literally every. thing. Fortunately hamburgers dispensed by kindly diner owners are the cure for all moral lapses. Thank you cows, for being our huge lowing Jesuses! Previously Next week is the last episode in our poll tour. See inside for more information on MST Club.
posted by JHarris on Dec 9, 2019 - 7 comments

Rewatch! Joe Don Baker IS Mitchell, a cop that doesn't play by the rules. For example, the rules about drinking on the job. The rules about sleeping with prostitutes. The rules about interacting with other human beings, especially kids. Certainly the rules about nutrition and hygiene. There is a story here about a drug dealer and his henchman who Mitchell seems like is almost trying to annoy into turning themselves in. In the end the lasting impression caused by this movie can be summed up in two words: BABY OIL. You'll know why when it appears on screen. (shudder) In the show's history this episode is especially notable for being Joel Hodgson's last as host. Previously [more inside]
posted by JHarris on Nov 7, 2019 - 16 comments

Rewatch! A young lady in California learns the oft-taught movie advice that, if she takes off her glasses and musses her hair a bit, men will be more attracted to her, and it only takes a trip to a dystopian underground civilization to learn it. This movie has a certain level of similarity to the Super Mario Bros. movie. This is a fan favorite episode, only the fourth episode P.M. (Post Mitchell), and back when it first aired it was the episode that really proved, after Joel left, that the show was going to be okay. Previously [more inside]
posted by JHarris on Jul 31, 2019 - 8 comments

Rewatch! Sean Connery's brother sure can do a lot. Plastic surgery, hypnosis, martial arts and so on. His brother's taken time off to go to the future to worship a huge flying head, so Secret Agent Central Casting sent him instead. He's up against an evil organization that somehow convinced a flotilla of clothes-averse young women to work for them, in capacities ranging from showgirl distraction brigade to movie screen. M and Moneypenny are involved somehow. In case you couldn't tell, this is an extremely silly movie and fully deserving being thrown against a wall and mocked by joke-making machines.Previously.
posted by JHarris on May 9, 2019 - 4 comments

Rewatch! Santa sees, hears, knows all. Up at his workshop in a castle hovering above the north pole he keeps his helpers, children from every nation. There they work on toys, singing all day long. They can do naught else, lest the forces of hell gain the upper hand. Fortunately Santa has the aid of Merlin and his magical inventions. Kind of a spin-off of the (nearly defunct) Santa's Workshop chain of theme parks, and deeply, deeply insane. Previously.
posted by JHarris on Apr 10, 2019 - 8 comments

Rewatch! MST3K has had a lot of goofy movies in its time. We watched one of the silliest, The Dead Talk Back, just last week. But in a field containing Robot Holocaust, Gamera vs. Guiron, Catalina Caper, Monster A-Go-Go, The Pumaman, Quest of the Delta Knights, Hobgoblins, Merlin's Shop of Mystical Wonders, Cry Wilderness, Carnival Magic and Mac And Me, this may still, ultimately, be the silliest. A woman in lingerie organizes a bunch of other scantily clad young women to fight crime and play at being "synthetic vampires," while her nemesis, the dastardly Rat Fink, attempt to steal an atomic hearing aid, by using his irresistible dancing drug, created by his mad scientist cohort, and his minion Heathcliff, who... look, it's just too ridiculous. You can see it for yourself when we watch it Thursday night! Previously
posted by JHarris on Mar 13, 2019 - 8 comments