FanFare

Rewatch! Peter Graves tries to convince Lee Van Cleef not to help an evil carrot from Venus to take over the minds of our authority figures, turning them against us. Hm. Has anyone checked the White House for diabolical vegetables? Previously "He learned almost too late that man is a feeling creature…" [more inside]
posted by JHarris on Jul 16, 2020 - 4 comments

Rewatch! Sunday-- Ken is a Star Wolf, a member of a ruthless band of space raiders from the planet Valna, who unexpectedly develops a conscience and saves an Earth woman and sun from a comrade. He is labeled a traitor and is force to team up with hard-drinking earthling Captain Joe and his crew on the old spaceship Bacchus III. I love this episode. The movie is goofy but watchable (and as Joel and co note in the sequel, the music legitimately rocks), the jokes are funny and on-point, and in a series filled to overflowing with memorable moments, gives us several great ones, culminating in the classic lyric: "HE TRIIIED TO KILL ME WITH A FORKLIFT!" Olé! Previously Below the fold, some comments about the movie. [more inside]
posted by JHarris on Jul 11, 2020 - 4 comments

Rewatch! Thursday-- A film from the most prolific director of MST3K movies, Bert I. Gordon. Glenn Manning is a man with a big problem, getting bigger: he was exposed to an experimental weapon that makes him grow and grow and grow. A better movie than its sequel, War of the Colossal Beast, but often in it shadow because WotCB contains perhaps the most popular short in MST's history. Previously
posted by JHarris on Jul 9, 2020 - 2 comments

Re-rewatch! On Sunday: like Godzilla, Gamera progressed through his career from being a force of destruction to being a protector of humanity, defending Japanese cities against other kaiju. Gaos (alternately spelled Gyaos) may be the most iconic and effective of Gamera's foes, being a sort of giant vampire bat thing with laser eyes. Sadly, the annoying kid Gamerafriends are back after their absence from Gamera vs. Barugon. Previously - Also previously
posted by JHarris on Jul 4, 2020 - 2 comments

Rewatch! A guy is forced off the road by a lady, so naturally they decide to drag race. Things progress in the natural manner, so he ends up going undercover in a nightclub to find out who killed his friend, and the lady, who's kind of sweet on him despite everything, helps. Has the short Alphabet Antics, the first of the show's many educational shorts. Previously
posted by JHarris on Jul 2, 2020 - 3 comments

Rewatch! Tonight: another classic early episode, in this movie (really episodes of a Japanese show stitched together by Sandy Frank), a couple of Japanese kids visit their uncle in their high-tech monkey freezing compound. Then an earthquake hits, and the two and a lab assistant seek refuge in a freezing chamber. They're flash-frozen and wake up in a future where APES RULE THE WORRRLD. But there's also a ton of other stuff going on: human Godo the survivalist, Pepe the friendly monkeyperson, vengeful ape Gaybar(?), the stern but ultimately helpful leader ape, and the deus ex machina-ish "UECOM" ("Yukon?") that hovers in the sky. Completely bonkers. Previously
posted by JHarris on Jun 28, 2020 - 3 comments

Rewatch! An astronaut survives a crash, but on waking up Earth doesn't seem to be as he remembers it... it turns out he's on "Terra," on the other side of the sun from Earth, which is a lot like Earth in a lot of ways (lots of Chryslers, for example), but is being run by one of those dystopian states that everyone was afraid of before we realized the fall of civilization would take the form of a social media meltdown. Previously
posted by JHarris on Jun 25, 2020 - 2 comments

Re-rewatch! A gigantic sort of allegator-dog attacks Japan, and in a twist (whaaa?) the previously aggressive monster turtle Gamera is the only thing that can stop it. At least there's no obnoxious kid this time. Previously one and Previously two
posted by JHarris on Jun 21, 2020 - 1 comment

Re-rewatch! Four different subplots kind of meander into orbit with each other in this dubbed French/Spanish movie. Movie A: poachers in the woods encounter and break the eggs of an unworldly creature. Movie B: singers on a trip in the woods have a deadly run-in with that creature. Movie C: a lonely young boy befriends another creature of the same species. Movie D: the boy's father noisily conflicts with the lead singer from Movie B. It's another episode from a time in the show's history when almost every episode became a classic. But as for the movie itself... (O.K. sign) It stinks! It's as disjointed as it was because originally it was supposed to just be a horror movie, but then when ET came out a hasty story adjustment was made to try to get some of those cute alien movie dollars. Previously and also previously
posted by JHarris on Jun 18, 2020 - 7 comments

Re-rewatch! A giant turtle terrorizes Japan while a sad little kid is told he can't keep his pet turtle. Their paths cross, and now the military tries to save Japan from kaiju destruction while the kid helps as a kind of giant turtle expert. It's pretty ridiculous, but it's only the beginning of a series of Gamera movies. MST would eventually do five of them, and they're some of the show's most iconic episodes. Previously
posted by JHarris on Jun 14, 2020 - 2 comments

Rewatch! The first classic episode in a season of classic episodes, a dull old guy ("Akronos") living in a prehistoric time is attacked by a John Saxon-type ("Zor") over a "geometric nucleus," so he sends his daughter Mila, who wears a hubcap on her chest, to go fetch Ator and his faithful male companion ("Thong," really) to save him. Mila impresses Ator by demonstrating her knowledge of the chemistry of human filth. The titular cave dwellers are only a stop-off point halfway through the film, there's a snake puppet, and an unexpected appearance by a hang glider. The whole thing is ridiculous. It's indicative of how disjointed this movie is that, despite it being a classic episode and one of my favorites, I still had to look up the names of the old guy, the bad guy and the girl! This movie is actually the sequel to the movie used in the last episode of Season 12. Previously
posted by JHarris on Jun 10, 2020 - 2 comments

Rewatch! On Sunday: Godzilla has to share screen time in this one with terrorists and natives and Mothra. Compared to the excellent and bonkers Godzilla vs Megalon this one's so-so, I think at least. Previously
posted by JHarris on Jun 4, 2020 - 0 comments

Rewatch! On Thursday (today!): A truly crazy movie, the underground kingdom of "Seatopia?" Which is run by... Dorf? is upset at nuclear tests, so calls upon their giant monster Megalon to attack the surface world. They also target a couple of... scientists? Who make... water toys? For a... kid? That they raise? I mean that's great sure, but it's not really defined what's going on. And a humidifier? hangs from the ceiling by a chain? in their... lab? Anyway they make the robot Jet Jaguar who goes and gets Godzilla so they can have a fite that's the real movie. It's batshit crazy, but a great episode! Previously [more inside]
posted by JHarris on Jun 4, 2020 - 1 comment

Rewatch! There are few MST movies that are as full of ridiculous crap as this one, it's kind of amazing. On Earth a space message is recovered from Venus to which scientists affix the catchy name the "cosmic document." They don't know what it says yet, but they decide to bring it along with them on a trip to its home planet to meet its makers. Along the way we meet a team of people with the huge letter 'A' on their uniforms, an international team of weirdos, a chess playing robot that can't handle losing, a vaguely oppressive sleep computer, the oppressive crib mobile of Venus, a flood of killer goop and alien architecture straight out of Dr. Seuss. In the end the cosmic document gets decoded and turns out to be plans to destroy the world, so, that's nice. Previously [more inside]
posted by JHarris on May 28, 2020 - 3 comments

Rewatch! The first of eight MST movies directed by Bert I. Gordon, who certainly had a prolific career. In this one, space explorer land on Planet Nova and bring "civilization" to it by obliterating its native population of awesome dinosaurs with a nuclear weapon. Hey, it was the fifties. There's an automobile safety short that's kind of goofy too. Previously [more inside]
posted by JHarris on May 28, 2020 - 3 comments

Rewatch! On Sunday: A kind of counterpart to The Sidehackers, directed both by its director Gus Trikonis and starring Ross Hagan, who played Rommel. Also, produced by Anthony Cardoza, who produced the Coleman Francis movies! A weird film, and the most biker-y of MST's three biker movies. Previously
posted by JHarris on May 20, 2020 - 1 comment

Rewatch! On Thursday: an airplace with important experiments crashes on a strange mountain plateau, and science types have to go up there and get them. While there's dinosaurs up there that cause them trouble, minute for minute, the true experience of this movie can be summed up in two words: ROCK CLIMBING. So much tedium that getting through it turns into a joke in itself. Previously [more inside]
posted by JHarris on May 20, 2020 - 1 comment

Rewatch! On Thursday: Rommel is a mechanic who participates in weird motorcycle races in his off time. He introduces the unstable J.C. and his gang to his sport, but events take a violent turn. A grimy and depressing take of shattered love and revenge. How did this episode become one of Mystery Science Theater 3000's earliest beloved classics? A lot of it has to do with the sport of sidehacking depicted in the movie, which is two-person motorcycling on a dirt track, with a driver and a rider who leans their butt way out on a sidehack to balance the bike out on sharp turns. An obviously extremely dangerous sport that's the subject of some hilarious extended riff runs. Previously.
posted by JHarris on Apr 30, 2020 - 7 comments

Rewatch! Operator error sends the Earth's first ship to the moon, 828 thousand miles away, instead to Mars, which is at best 33.9 million miles away and usually much further. That's some error; some scientists would give multiple limbs to be able to make errors like that. It's the first episode of Season Two, considered the point where Mystery Science Theater 3000 started to become really good, although the movie here is kind of dull. Next time.... Previously. Remember: for the time being we're also doing Sunday shows, so if you want to watch this one you'll want to show up tonight. [more inside]
posted by JHarris on Apr 26, 2020 - 0 comments

Rewatch! Joe Don Baker IS Mitchell, a cop that doesn't play by the rules. For example, the rules about drinking on the job. The rules about sleeping with prostitutes. The rules about interacting with other human beings, especially kids. Certainly the rules about nutrition and hygiene. There is a story here about a drug dealer and his henchman who Mitchell seems like is almost trying to annoy into turning themselves in. In the end the lasting impression caused by this movie can be summed up in two words: BABY OIL. You'll know why when it appears on screen. (shudder) In the show's history this episode is especially notable for being Joel Hodgson's last as host. Previously [more inside]
posted by JHarris on Nov 7, 2019 - 16 comments

Resuffer! For Halloween this year, we've moved an episode up an week. Spend All Hallow's Eve with us, Torgo and the gang! Previously. And we've got a whole bunch more Halloween stuff before and after at MST Club this week!
posted by JHarris on Oct 30, 2019 - 13 comments

Rewatch! Some doof is traveling across the country, in that way that loners in 70s shows often do, accompanied both by a hamster and a master ninja that is teaching him the ninja-ey arts along the way. The ninja, inexplicably, is played by Lee Van Cleef. The "movie" is actually two episodes of the show "The Master" strung together. The episode, of MST3K, is a good example of the kind of thing that made the show so popular. Previously.
posted by JHarris on Oct 3, 2019 - 3 comments

Rewatch! What awaits us after we die? If this movie is to be believed, we end up inside little rings such as the kind Sonic the Hedgehog collects, ferried back and forth through the afterlife by glorified deliverymen in black suits, overseen by the fearsomely-chinned Robert Z'Dar. A classic Season 10 episode, both for the ridiculous movie and for cameo appearances by both TV's Frank and Joel Hodgson, last seen in 624 and 512 respectively. Previously.
posted by JHarris on Sep 5, 2019 - 8 comments

Rewatch! Up in the arctic, atomic tests run by Major Curley awaken a huge, slumbering giant from the deep... if you thought, "oh it's okay, it's just a big turtle," you might be surprised by the havoc it raises. Meanwhile, a sad sad kid in Japan is obsessed with his pet turtle, so his parents take it away from him, making him even more sad. Oh, how will their stories converge. First of the Gamera series. Other than perhaps Gamera vs. Barugon, the only Gamera without kids in it, this may be the one that plays it the straightest, without goofy enemy monsters, the Gamera theme song or other ridiculous elements. It's not terrible as a monster movie, but that subplot with Kenny pushes it over the edge into ludicrousness. Previously
posted by JHarris on Aug 14, 2019 - 1 comment

Rewatch! Deep in the northwestern woods somewhere is a house in which lives a lonely boy with way too many pets. His newest pet, however, is from a species with serious aggression problems. Oh also there are poachers in the woods. Oh and there's some singers in town who are vacationing in those same woods. It stinks! Pod People, shown early in Season 3, is a hugely iconic episode of MST3K, and "It stinks!" quickly became one of the shows many, many catchphrases. And I think we can all agree: the pet alien from this movie would make a better president than our current one. Previously.
posted by JHarris on Aug 7, 2019 - 7 comments

Rewatch! Second of the Gamera kaiju films, in which a spinning, jet-propelled turtle fights monsters and destroys buildings. This one was of the age where Gamera was still mostly feared, and it's the only Gamera movie without any kids in it! The monster he fights, with freezing tongue and rainbow destruction beam, is rather random. Previously.
posted by JHarris on Jun 5, 2019 - 3 comments

Rewatch! Another movie about Japan's fiery spinning menace who's also the friend to children. This is the third Gamera movie, and the third that MST has done. This is the one where Gamera makes the transition from menace to hero, to protect Japan from space vampire Gaos (or "Gyaos" depending on transliteration). Not nearly as weird as Gamera vs. Guiron, it still generally works as a monster movie, and may be the best of the Gamera films. Previously.
posted by JHarris on May 29, 2019 - 0 comments

Rewatch! It's the first of three Gamera movies in a row, out of MST's five. This is by far the silliest of the lot. Two kids are abducted by space ladies that want to eat their brains, but are rescued by Gamera after a fight with knife monster Guiron. There's so much in this episode: the Bike Song, "Cornjob," dancing go-go, giant turtle gymnastics, and, of course: The Gamera Song. He is filled with turtle meat! Previously.
posted by JHarris on May 23, 2019 - 6 comments

Rewatch! No, they're not Beatniks. They're not even Boatniks. A young thug is content with a life of robbery until it turns out he can sing, but his grasping for fortune and respectability is held back by his jilted criminal buddies. It was directed and written by voice actor Paul "Boris Badenov" Frees! There's also a General Hospital soap opera short, which are unfortunately among the most boring shorts MST did, but does have their commercial for The Booze Council.
posted by JHarris on May 16, 2019 - 4 comments

The crew of Earth spaceship Bacchus III deals with various problems, culminating with showdowns with Ken's old girlfriend out of a murder vendetta against him, and the kabuki leader of the Star Wolves himself. Two-fisted Japanese pseudo-Star Wars space adventures with surprisingly great music that was edited into near incomprehensibility by Sandy Frank Productions. It's the sequel to Fugitive Alien, which was slightly more lucid. Previously.
posted by JHarris on Feb 20, 2019 - 4 comments

Rewatch! What do you get when you cross a beach movie with a heist movie? Nothing good! It does contain a musical number by Little Richard. This movie marks the establishment of the rule that MST3K would avoid comedies, but it's still a fairly well-remembered episode from the show's classic era. With this film, we're back in Joel territory for a while! Previously
posted by JHarris on Feb 13, 2019 - 4 comments