My Brother, My Brother And Me
Free advice, from three of the world's most qualified experts.
We always thought that episode 420 would be about the funny weed number. Instead, we're using it to mark 4/20, the date we say goodbye to Yahoo! Answers, a bad website that we will miss very much. Support AAPI communities and those affected by anti-Asian violence: https://www.gofundme.com/c/act/stop-aapi-hate Support the AAPI Civic Engagement Fund: https://aapifund.org/
In today's episode, Justin goes on a righteous and important quest to claim the Birdman's special burrito, but instead ends up claiming nothing but heart-rending shame. It's a TOUGH LISTEN.Suggested talking points: Big Eyes Watch, Under the Table and Phishing, The Three-Hat Problem, A Recipe for You, Tony Hawk's Pro Burrito, Nostalgia Per InchFor more ways to support Black Lives Matter and find anti-racism resources: https://blacklivesmatters.carrd.co/
It's the final week of the MaxFunDrive, so we've pulled out all the stops! By which we mean, we talked about Olive Garden, again, for like twenty minutes.Suggested talking points: Old Bill, College Shirt, Toilet Book, Liquid Benefits, Olive Garden Hacks, Wine and CheeseBecome a MaxFun supporter: https://maximumfun.org/join
Look, the title's challenging, okay? We get it. It's probably not what you're thinking it's about, because we're talking about athletic balls. Maybe that is what you were thinking about? Are we the problem? Yeah, actually, that sounds about right.Suggested talking points: Happy Birthday Bugs, Peart-a Potty, Cello Wrestling, Basketball Announcement, Real American Hot Dogs, Tender Milkshake, Foot LidsMore resources on anti-racism and fighting police violence: https://blacklivesmatters.carrd.co/Consider becoming a supporter of the MaxFun network: https://maximumfun.org/join
In today's episode, we inexplicably relitigate the film Titanic, which is a million years old, and come up with a way cooler ending where the ship doesn't break and the cool guy gets the treasure and everyone gets married. (Feat. Special Guestpert, Dr. James Bufeè!)Suggested talking points: Half-Virile Knight, Poster Prank, Having Fun While Shopping at Sears, A Hearty Bod Jam, We Fix Titanic Again, Home Summer Vibes, The Big PumpkinSupport the Foundation for Black Women's Wellness here: http://ffbww.org/More resources on anti-racism and fighting police violence: https://blacklivesmatters.carrd.co/
How much money would it cost to get celebrity Dave Bautista to come to your neighbor's house and absolutely kick it the hell apart? Less than you might think!Suggested talking points: McElroy Masterclass, Cameo Conundrum, Looking a Gift Lawn Mower in the Mouth, Modern Castles, Burgerchip, Haunted Fishin' Hole. Support the Marsha P. Johnson Institute. More resources on anti-racism and fighting police violence.
Perhaps it's the months of seclusion that has given us this macabre fascination, but in today's episode, we debate, at length, the lethal capabilities of an automated car wash. Our conclusion: It's probably not a great idea to walk into one of these things. (Feat. Special Guestpert: MC Bat Commander!)Suggested talking points: Energy Circle, Nothing Compares to Corn, Car Wash Survival, The EMT Store, Pigeons are Phones, Cake for Life, A New Large Bird, Zoom Vaping
At some point in all our lives, it's happened to all of us: You're enjoying a nice grind, but gosh! Where are you supposed to put your pocket-based belongings? Introducing: Grutler. (TM TM TM.)Suggested talking points: A Sampler Platter of Failed Introductions, The Music of the City, The American Fanny, Ice Cream Transgressions, Grandmummy
Okay, we know we just had a non-standard 500th episode celebration, but as luck would have it, THIS episode also marks 10 years of us in the podcastin' business. So, yes, Justin sings the song again. (Also, we've got new art, courtesy of the very talented Sarah McKay!)Suggested talking points: ZOLO Memories, Feline Sex Den, American Hero Horn, Play Along At Home (Sorry),Teleconference Mirror World, Healing and Growth Squad
In today's episode, we set a new record for Lack of Commitment to an Opening Bit — a record whose previous holders include ... let's see here ... oh, it's us! The list just says us, like, fifty times.Suggested talking points: Hot Gin, Sonic's Sacrifice, Timesheet Secrets, Bathroom Investigations, Goldfish Punishment, Large Old Pizza News, Titanic Kaiju
Listen, y'all. There's only one way that we're getting through this thing, and I think we all know exactly what way I'm talking about. It is imperative, now more than ever, that we get Richard Gere to be a top-tier YouTuber.Suggested talking points: What's Funny?!, Lying Ants, Snip Tunes, Roughhousing, Netflix Prophecies, Liminal Chalupa
(Note: This was going to be our kick-off episode for the MaxFunDrive, which has been postponed. We've cut most of the drive-talk out of the episode -- hence the shorter-than-usual runtime and occasional pauses. Hang in there, y'all.)Join us as we open up the My Brother, My Brother and Me book to a brand new chapter; one celebrating lifestyle brand innovations and, well, cool orbs. Suggested talking points: Gotta Touch These Orbs, Justin Clears His Conscience, The Last Beheading Day, Ancient Grains Ready to Rip, Please Don't Tell Pigeons About Farms, Snack'n Bac'n
We're currently sailing the high seas, searching for adventure on that big blue horizon. So, while we do that, here's a live show we recently did in Cincinnati. (Griffin's doing fine, by the way. You'll understand why you might want that update a few minutes into the episode.)
So, before setting any expectations based on the title of the episode, know this: Ten years later, our bodies respond to spaghetti-loading SUPER differently. We all recorded this one together, and mostly spent it talking to our various family members, but also there are two impromptu musical numbers and a fierce competition of athletic prowess, so, yeah. Thank you all so much for sharing this past decade with us. You've changed our lives irrevocably, and there's no way we'll be able to repay that kindness in our lifetimes, so instead, we just ate a bunch of pasta and recorded it for you.
Suggested talking points: No Ramp Up, Soda Bag, Paul's Finest Grape Cake, Bee Purple, Fall Off The Bone Love, Halftime Korn, Poker Griefing
Suggested talking points: Slim Leads, Nutzack, Buzz's Space Car, Bum Bum, Stink Sniper, Average Erotic Wine Stopper, Living Pinecones
We’ve officially polished all the rough edges out of this weekly entertainment product that we’ve been making for like 10 calendar years. We’re nearly ready to enter our Closed Beta phase, which basically means we’ve stopped talking about bidets so much. Suggested talking points: Relatable Content, Accidental Lunch Thief, Perfect Farmwear, Animal Trivia, Nude Changeover, Val Kilmer's Kickass Bat Wine, Genuine Sports Humor, Do Not Go In There
Listen folks, because this is the last time we're gonna say this: Hyenas go in the Hyena Hole. Please, PLEASE stop putting non-hyena things into the Hyena Hole. You're disrupting the whole circle of life, and also, you're REALLY riling up all the hyenas. Suggested talking points: Earnest Hogback, The Masked Listener, Pie Perversion, The Saltiest Chili, Football Twins, Part of Zoo
You're gonna have some questions after the new segment in today's episode. Only one man has the answers. His name is Travis, and also when we said he has the answers, that's actually not gonna be true a lot of the time. Suggested talking points: Laughter and Love Challenge, Cole Slaw Juice, Brutalist Cup Design, Pizza Box Repair, Travis Takes a Big Swing at a New Bit, RIP Nut, Sky Pipes
We're still on hiatus while Travis celebrates the miracle of life, but we'll be back with a proper new episode next week! In the meantime, please enjoy another of our live performances at the King's Theater in Brooklyn!
Travis and Teresa have CREATED NEW LIFE, so we're taking this week off to celebrate. In lieu of a regular episode, please enjoy our recent romp in our nation's capital!
It has arrived. Our annual opportunity to place a steady hand upon the rudder of the new year is here, and boy howdy, it's a big one. Twenty-Twenty?! It's the same thing twice! Is that anything? Please? We're spiraling. Suggested talking points: Down to Beesness, Tenure at Cool University, Lunch Smell, Faded at Spangles
Happy Candlenights my friends! It's time once more for our annual Huntington pilgrimage! Enjoy! Suggested Talking Points: It's Candlenights!
What is ... flavor? What defines the essence of an object's true, unambiguous taste? Is flavor, perhaps, in the tongue of the food-haver? Also, mind if we sprinkle a little bit of dirt on this lasagna? Suggested talking points: Log Recommendations, A Whole Nut?, That One's Spice, The Bad Boy of Sudoku, Mike's Secret Milkshake, Potions and Chili, Cool Whip Mysteries
Well, it finally happened. We got bit by the Broadway bug. Time to raise our anchors and set sail toward the warm, inviting waters of professional musical theater. Don't try and change our minds — we have become Daddy Warbucks, and Daddy Warbucks don't podcast. Suggested talking points: Broadway Babies, Drinking Horn, Laserking, Fakin' It, Pocket Watch Counterweight, Hats off to Christmas, A Good 9 and a Half, Peanuts on the Floor
We want you to come inside of our home — the one we all actually share together — to meet our new, government-mandated bird friends. Sure, the audio quality of this show is gonna take a dive, but when you see their horrible, shriveled faces, it's still absolutely not going to be worth it. Suggested talking points: Turkey House, Open the Glottis, Justin's Cooking Class, Neutral Gifts, Bush Squirrel, Thanksgiving Pizza, A Lengthy Discussion of Butch
Step inside the mind of the mind-reader himself (who is Frasier) as we pitch our bold new vision for Frasier. In this one, Frasier's getting nasty, and we're not willing to negotiate on that point, so don't bother asking. Suggested talking points: Guiding Lights, Donuts with Morrie, Frasier's World, Reach for the Stars, Fumanji Jizz Mist, Eight Words a Day, A Call from the Dogman
Hello! We've safely returned from the concluding show of the Become the Monster tour. We are weary, but we also didn't want to put up another live episode, so we like ... just recorded a new one. It's wild, we think. It was all a blur. Comin' in hot! Suggested talking points: Magic Al the Fleshmancer, Working Less, Two-Timing Dog, Day One Costume, Flamin' Ice Cream, Nude Rider, Intermediary Brothers
It happened. Well, a few things happened. One, we did a show in Orlando to make up for the time we had to cancel a show earlier this year. Two, in said show, Justin finally crossed the streams of his two wildly popular segments. Three, capitalism got the shot in the arm it's needed for some time now. You're welcome, everyone!
In which we realize the scope of our commitment in promising to send a horse to college, and then determine an extremely powerful and highly lucrative name for the aforementioned horse. Suggested talking points: Halloween Delay, Candy Potluck, Happy Birthday Ronald, Medicine Blintz, We're Sending a Horse to College, Ding Dong Speed Strats, Car Expertise
We're taking a sick week and tossing up another live show from our most recent tour: Our maiden voyage to the good city Philadelphia. Unfortunately, we left that city worse off than we found it -- which is to say, covered in Beemen. We assume we will not be invited back.
Enjoy our most recent show from the gorgeous Kings Theater in Brooklyn, complete with a musical introduction from Lin and a cameo appearance by a guy who we are like — for real now — about 81 percent certain was Matt Doyle.
Look, the title ain't lying, and you'd have no way of proving it if it were. One of us has seen every bird, full stop. We're the new high score on the birdwatcher leaderboard, and who's gonna argue against that? The birds? Probably not the birds. Suggested talking points: Spookily, Raccoon Trash Strats (feat. John Hodgman), Dickbilled Priebus, Freakied and Fridayed, Ammunition for the Soda Wars
There's only one surprisingly proportioned beef sandwich capable of stitching up the wide wounds carved across human civilization; and we're the ones to invent it. (Not cook it, mind you. Good lord, we cannot fathom how to go about cooking Longburger. God, the logistics are dizzying.) Suggested talking points: Mars 2113, Moon Germany, Oops All Croutons!, Great Sturg' Spots, Haunted House Acting, Morgue Benefits, The Longburger
This live show, from our recent tour stop in Pittsburgh, will probably go down in history as "the one where we unknowingly distributed 100 KFC Doughnut Chicken Sandwiches to our audience, who, for some reason did not instantly turn against us." We like to think of it ... well, we don't like to think of it. We did an unconscionable thing to you, our dear, dear listeners.
Who's lookin' to get sticky sticky sticky in the hot hot sun? Come on down to Spriteland and get WILD with all your carbonated buds! We got lazy rivers just chock-full of this clear stuff, and boy, the bees are just, really y'all, it's really ... there's a lot of bees. Suggested talking points: The Coldest Chili, Adult Trampoline Center, Sticky Amusement Park, Pizz-It!, Thanks Alexa, Fun Food for Fun Guys
If you open yourself up to it, love can find you in the strangest of places. In the meat aging attic. In Crash Bandicoot's loaded back pocket. Or, in an unassuming serving of customizable, hastily baked authentic Italian pasta. Come, have a bowl. Reconnect. Suggested talking points: Old Beef Jokes, Sporf, Damien Adultduck, The Raw Voice, Brown Sonic, Veggie Extravaganza, Tom Orrow, The Inside of Superman's Mouth and Butt
We're returning from a big, wild family vacation, and so we present to you our big, wild live show from Atlanta! We performed it last weekend, back when we were SO jacked up on Coca-Cola that a beam of brown, carbonated energy shot out of our chest and blew a hole in the ceiling. You probably read about it in the newspapers.
For millennia, mankind has searched for what could be universally considered the worst, yuckiest, most profane, most inscrutable condiment to ever exist, or ever would exist, forever and ever. We're pleased to announce: The search is over. Suggested talking points: Joker Watch, Pennysweets, Flesh Bottle, A New Possum Kingdom, Briefcase Use Case, Hummus Smuggler
Throw on your largest, most profane novelty T-Shirt and crack open a cold, fresh bottle of Old El Paso — it's jokes time again! Suggested talking points: Gridiron Wisdom, Feature Length Texts, What to Wear to Cave, Big Johnson, The Great Coupon Heist, Travis' Falsified Book Report Service
Hey, Summer! Come over here for a second! We want to talk to you about ... the beach. All the beach stuff we want to do during you, Summer. What's that bear trap doing on the ground? Why's Autumn hiding behind us with a big net in its hand? Don't worry about that, Summer. Just ... come over here for a sec, will ya? Suggested talking points: Backpack Shopping, LASIK Check-In, Master Chief Lessons for Baby Boomers, Ghost Rider vs. Everyone, Pasta 4 Life, Ranch Mouth, Get Sticky Off It
We have been smashed to pieces by our recent viewing of Hobbs and Shaw, which may explain the somewhat punch-drunk nature of today's episode. It's also possible we've been sprayed with some kind of Jason Statham neurotoxin. In either case: Enjoy! Suggested talking points: 5DXXX, Neighbor Lube, Buying Money, Potential Golf Family, Secret Chicken Debut, Chinning, Fun Facts
We spent pretty much all of last week on Island Time, which means we didn't have time to record our japes and post them online for you, our dear friends. Instead, please enjoy this VILE episode that we did in Cleveland, a city that we ruined, with our filth.
In today's episode, we stumble upon a new motto, a new personal mantra to guide us into the new Roarin' 20s — but, unfortunately, it has a cuss in it. And we're not sure if we're allowed to put cusses in this description. We're gonna go ask iTunes if we can cuss, BRB. Suggested talking points: San Diego Discomfort Con, Two-Step Tip, Edible Tattoos, Dirty Dog Pizza, The Bell Hotel, Beast Food
We're heading back from book tour, making this the perfect time for us to deploy our recent live show from lovely, soggy Indianapolis. Join us for discussions on Real Life Vape Dads, and see Justin and Travis fuse into a hive mind while discussing practical pepperoni applications.
Well, we did the damn thing again. We went ahead and spent a half hour talking about Garfield. We know. It's done, though. The episode's already finished, and this is it, and it's got a full 30 minutes of Garfield in there. Better luck next time. Suggested talking points: Number 38, Pork Scenes, TV Talk, Belly Pudding, 50 Riddles to Defeat Anxiety, The Complete Garfield Dining Experience [more inside]
According to our editing software, this one is about 55 minutes long. Which is strange, because while we were recording in the Standing Energy Time Dilation Plane, it seemed a whole lot longer than that. Suggested talking points: Standing Energy, Joe vs. Unassigned Carbon, Jelly Bean Pouch, Secret Donuts, Unfireable (w/ Guestpert Laura Kate Dale!), A Hospital for Humans and Birds
Friends! We have a question for you: How many hot dogs did YOU eated last week? Did you do the most, out of everyone? Please tell us if you did the most, so we can give you the biggest trophy. Also, Jesse Eisenberg is in this one. Suggested talking points: Caesar Salad Contest, Viral Mom, Crush the Trash Real Small, Teen Donuts, Pee Mail (w/ Guestpert Jesse Eisenberg), Hermit Crab Distinction, Hair Ownership
All Aboard*! The Food Train's pulling into the station, and its sixty robot chefs are prepared to meet your every culinary desire! (* - Do not board the Food Train under any circumstances. Your body will be annihilated.) Suggested talking points: Songland, Stealing a Big Lamp, The Scullery, Vacation Clothes, Reba Mayo, Intangible Cutsies
Catching the brunt of cold and flu season, which might be happening right now, we haven't checked? Sounds like you need to up your daily intake of Vitamin Cheese. GOTTA get that good stuff in your bones. Suggested talking points: BO Doctors, The Fussy Man, Weed Boy, Birthday Role-play, Donuts and to the Left, Pigland, Shaqaroni
We bumped the Grand Ole Opry from the Ryman lineup to present our own twisted, skewed comedy to the fine folks of Nashville, Tennessee. It was a momentous show, if only for the fact that we finally struck an accord with the Sky-Warriors, and put a climactic end to our centuries-long, unbelievably costly battle.
We believe in all our listeners' ability to enjoy the summer responsibly and jubilantly. BUT. You wanna push that stuff Over the Top? You wanna get wiiiiiiild? Then you've GOT to get this episode into your life. Suggested talking points: Summer Preview 2019, Daddy's Favorite Box, Elephant Heaven, Damages, Demogorgon Desserts, Popcorn Hat, Fried Secrets
On today's episode, we spend a while getting PUMPED for all the GREAT new television shows we'll get to watch this year, then introduce our backdoor pilot for a food delivery brand that can transform into a bazooka-wielding beast-monster. Hollywood, you know how to reach us. Suggested talking points: Pilot Season 2019, Cool Forklift Stunts, Three-Fight Deal, Beastmates, Dantown, War Gunk, Noise Funk
We're scattered hither and yon this week, so here's our recent live show from the Shire-esque paradise known as Salt Lake City. Join us for discussions of homemade knives, skull-based fighting techniques and, hands down, the yuckiest Munch Squad ever. [more inside]
Today's episode is ALL about dad-hacks, which is to say, how to hack your dad and make him buy you AS MANY expensive fish tanks as you want. We won't lie: It's not gonna be easy. But when you've got your hands on one of these big, aquatic beauties, you'll know it was all worth it. Suggested talking points: We The Fans, Fungus Medicine Theft, Authentic Egg Stink, Ancient Chocolates, The Earl of Earl of Sandwich, Travis Tritt's Fish n' Shits, Anarchist Ellen
A criminal crime happened in front of a breathless nation, and we're just supposed to sit back and just like, celebrate a weak horse? This will not stand. We will not stand for it. Suggested talking point: A Robbery on the Racetrack, Darth Navarro, Batilda, Big Awesome Bones, Wet and International Hamburgers, Susan Office, A Thrifty Snip
Podcast: My Brother, My Brother And Me: MBMBaM 457: Wake Up and Smell The Future, It’s Time For Beanjuice
Wake Up and Smell The Future, It's Time For Beanjuice™! Grind up the day! Here is Beanjuice™. It is an exciting opportunity: A contest, maybe! But one thing's for sure: High-end luxury, and youth, and it's not the stuff that's left over in a can of beans, so please stop telling people that. Suggested talking points: Beanjuice™, Amateur Panera Bread Server, Jerry Seinfeld: Latency-free Gamer, Off to See the Lizard, Rob Lowe's Murderglobes, Accidental Butt Smack
Keep your head on a swivel as we celebrate this birthday season, because there's a LOT OF STUFF out to get us. Fridge traps, Cager the Basketball Monster, Minecraft Spiders — just, like, look lively, friends. Suggested talking points: Creams and Cakes, Birthday Boy Billy, Guinea Pig Brother, Fridge Epidemic, Disrespectful Hoops, Happy Taste Good, Joe's Apartment But With Spiders, Boo Club
Take a load off, friends. We know you've got your fair share of worries — heck, we all do. We're here for you! Just whisper 'em right here, right up our shirt sleeve. Let the shirt do the rest. Suggested talking points: The Taxmen Cameth, The Good New Art, Moto Dog, Ticket to Family, Cavemans, Pretzel Abominations, Bustin' In, Koi Care
We apologize to the city of San Jose for how many pranks we did on this episode, in which we celebrated the Great Pranking Day while recording a live show. If you want to be similarly pranked, good news! This episode also has details on the Become the Monster tour, coming (maybe) to a city near you!