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Mystery Science Theater 3000: THE AMAZING COLOSSAL MAN  Rewatch   Season 3, Ep 9

Rewatch! Thursday-- A film from the most prolific director of MST3K movies, Bert I. Gordon. Glenn Manning is a man with a big problem, getting bigger: he was exposed to an experimental weapon that makes him grow and grow and grow. A better movie than its sequel, War of the Colossal Beast, but often in it shadow because WotCB contains perhaps the most popular short in MST's history. Previously
posted by JHarris on Jul 9, 2020 - 2 comments

Mystery Science Theater 3000: GAMERA VS. GAOS  Rewatch   Season 3, Ep 8

Re-rewatch! On Sunday: like Godzilla, Gamera progressed through his career from being a force of destruction to being a protector of humanity, defending Japanese cities against other kaiju. Gaos (alternately spelled Gyaos) may be the most iconic and effective of Gamera's foes, being a sort of giant vampire bat thing with laser eyes. Sadly, the annoying kid Gamerafriends are back after their absence from Gamera vs. Barugon. Previously - Also previously
posted by JHarris on Jul 4, 2020 - 2 comments

Mystery Science Theater 3000: DADDY-O  Rewatch   Season 3, Ep 7

Rewatch! A guy is forced off the road by a lady, so naturally they decide to drag race. Things progress in the natural manner, so he ends up going undercover in a nightclub to find out who killed his friend, and the lady, who's kind of sweet on him despite everything, helps. Has the short Alphabet Antics, the first of the show's many educational shorts. Previously
posted by JHarris on Jul 2, 2020 - 3 comments

Mystery Science Theater 3000: GAMERA VS. BARUGON  Rewatch   Season 3, Ep 4

Re-rewatch! A gigantic sort of allegator-dog attacks Japan, and in a twist (whaaa?) the previously aggressive monster turtle Gamera is the only thing that can stop it. At least there's no obnoxious kid this time. Previously one and Previously two
posted by JHarris on Jun 21, 2020 - 1 comment

Mystery Science Theater 3000: GAMERA  Rewatch   Season 3, Ep 2

Re-rewatch! A giant turtle terrorizes Japan while a sad little kid is told he can't keep his pet turtle. Their paths cross, and now the military tries to save Japan from kaiju destruction while the kid helps as a kind of giant turtle expert. It's pretty ridiculous, but it's only the beginning of a series of Gamera movies. MST would eventually do five of them, and they're some of the show's most iconic episodes. Previously
posted by JHarris on Jun 14, 2020 - 2 comments

Mystery Science Theater 3000: KING DINOSAUR  Rewatch   Season 2, Ep 10

Rewatch! The first of eight MST movies directed by Bert I. Gordon, who certainly had a prolific career. In this one, space explorer land on Planet Nova and bring "civilization" to it by obliterating its native population of awesome dinosaurs with a nuclear weapon. Hey, it was the fifties. There's an automobile safety short that's kind of goofy too. Previously [more inside]
posted by JHarris on May 28, 2020 - 3 comments

Mystery Science Theater 3000: LOST CONTINENT  Rewatch   Season 2, Ep 8

Rewatch! On Thursday: an airplace with important experiments crashes on a strange mountain plateau, and science types have to go up there and get them. While there's dinosaurs up there that cause them trouble, minute for minute, the true experience of this movie can be summed up in two words: ROCK CLIMBING. So much tedium that getting through it turns into a joke in itself. Previously [more inside]
posted by JHarris on May 20, 2020 - 1 comment

Mystery Science Theater 3000: RING OF TERROR  Rewatch   Season 2, Ep 6

Rewatch! On Thursday: Puma? Puma! An unflappable med student so irks his prospective fraternity brothers that they arrange for an initiation where he must get the ring off the hand of a corpse. John Carradine thinks back on the event and laaaaughs. Most of the episode is just lead up, making for a pretty boring experience. Fortunately we have three wisecracking intermediaries to help make the film watchable. Previously
posted by JHarris on May 13, 2020 - 3 comments

Mystery Science Theater 3000: ROCKET ATTACK USA  Rewatch   Season 2, Ep 5

Rewatch! On Sunday: There are two parts to this. The first part follows spies deep in the Soviet Union trying to gain information on and prevent a nuclear attack on New York. That fails, leading to the second part, which is about New York getting hit by a nuclear missile. A transparently fearmongering piece of propaganda, this is one of those films that's not just terrible but made the world a worse place just by existing. Fortunately, it makes for a pretty good riff target, if you can get past how upsetting the story is. There's no happy ending here, folks. Previously. [more inside]
posted by JHarris on May 6, 2020 - 3 comments

Mystery Science Theater 3000: JUNGLE GODDESS  Rewatch   Season 2, Ep 3

Rewatch! On Sunday: Some white guys search Africa for a lost heiress, who it turns out reigns over a native tribe as their goddess, apparently only because she's white. Get ready for the kinds of stereotypes that make making fun of the movie seem almost a duty. Previously [more inside]
posted by JHarris on May 1, 2020 - 3 comments

Mystery Science Theater 3000: ROCKETSHIP X-M  Rewatch   Season 2, Ep 1

Rewatch! Operator error sends the Earth's first ship to the moon, 828 thousand miles away, instead to Mars, which is at best 33.9 million miles away and usually much further. That's some error; some scientists would give multiple limbs to be able to make errors like that. It's the first episode of Season Two, considered the point where Mystery Science Theater 3000 started to become really good, although the movie here is kind of dull. Next time.... Previously. Remember: for the time being we're also doing Sunday shows, so if you want to watch this one you'll want to show up tonight. [more inside]
posted by JHarris on Apr 26, 2020 - 0 comments

Mystery Science Theater 3000: THE BLACK SCORPION  Rewatch   Season 1, Ep 13

Rewatch! Big critters from out of a volcano attack the lands south of the border. It's the last episode of Season One. Previously [more inside]
posted by JHarris on Apr 23, 2020 - 0 comments

Mystery Science Theater 3000: UNTAMED YOUTH  Rewatch   Season 1, Ep 12

Rewatch! On Sunday [4/19]: A home for troubled teens is actually a work farm run by unscrupulous adults. Starring MST3K favorite Mamie Van Doren, who is still alive and kicking as of this writing! This movie marks the show's beginning to branch out to other genres of cinema, here, the teensploitation movie. The bad guy's surname is Tropp; having a name that ends with a doubled hard consonant is one of those sure-fire signs of cinema evil. Previously. Two more episodes in Season One.
posted by JHarris on Apr 15, 2020 - 1 comment

Mystery Science Theater 3000: PROJECT MOONBASE  Rewatch   Season 1, Ep 9

Rewatch! Poor Commander Brietis has the misfortune to be a women space officer in a man's (specifically, Robert Heinlein's) world. Her peers all casually call her "Bright Eyes," and her commanding officer actually threatens to spank her at one point. But in the end she and a fellow astronaut get stranded together on the moon, and Madame President (whose existence I guess was supposed to make up for how badly Brietis is treated) demands that they be married to avoid a scandal, which they agree to because they're sweet on each other. A disheartening movie, which make wisecracks from an orbiting human and his automated mocking machines all the more welcome. Previously.
posted by JHarris on Apr 9, 2020 - 4 comments

Mystery Science Theater 3000: THE SLIME PEOPLE  Rewatch   Season 1, Ep 8

Rewatch! It's like a zombie movie but not, and from before that became a genre! You might consider it ahead of its time, or you might consider that zombie movies were never all that to begin with. It's another first season episode, when the guys and robots were still finding their feet and/or hoverskirts. Previously. [more inside]
posted by JHarris on Apr 2, 2020 - 4 comments

Mystery Science Theater 3000: ROBOT MONSTER  Rewatch   Season 1, Ep 7

Rewatch! We're baaaack.... A alien invader (guy in a gorilla suit with a fishbowl on his head) called Ro-Man destroys everyone on Earth except for a family that lives in walking distance of his cave (which has a bubble machine in front of it). The family tries to thwart Ro-Man's attempt to wipe them out, until Ro-Man gets a crush on the family's teenage daughter. At what point on the graph do "must" and "cannot" meet? In the end it's all a dream had by a comic-addled young boy. Up until this point MST had shown bad movies, but this was the first truly transcendent example they did. Some have called it the worst movie ever made. Enjoy! Also has two Radar Men From the Moon shorts. Previously [more inside]
posted by JHarris on Mar 26, 2020 - 8 comments

Mystery Science Theater 3000: THE CRAWLING HAND  Rewatch   Season 1, Ep 6

Rewatch! An astronaut crashes to earth and dies, all except for his hand (or hand and forearm, depending on the shot). It strangles people then hooks up with a teen to do more stranglin'. In the end it gets eaten by a cat, saving the world. Good kitty! This is an important episode in that it's the first one that sets up the "style" of the show in almost all later episodes, the opening going directly into the theater tunnel, and Joel explains the premise, really for the first time on cable. Also, the movie features the song Surfin' Bird. Previously. ----- In other news, for the extent of the pandemic, the MST Club video room will be open between shows with a playlist of as-broadcast MST episodes, funny YouTube finds, and other special appearances, for bored social distancers dropping-in. "Enjoy!"
posted by JHarris on Mar 18, 2020 - 2 comments

Movie: Frances Ha

A New York woman (who doesn't really have an apartment) apprentices for a dance company (though she's not really a dancer) and throws herself headlong into her dreams, even as the possibility of realizing them dwindles. Starring and written by Greta Gerwig, written and directed by Noah Baumbach [more inside]
posted by Carillon on Feb 27, 2020 - 15 comments

Mystery Science Theater 3000: THE MAD MONSTER  Rewatch   Season 1, Ep 3

Rewatch! An amiable handyman is turned into a furred killer by virtue of a syringe of Wolf Juice, in service to that diabolical process called science. When it is proclaimed of our our somewhat-hairy, yet still humanoid, victim that he has "become a wolf," it is a profoundly silly moment. Comes with Pt. 2 of Radar Men From The Moon. Previously [more inside]
posted by JHarris on Feb 27, 2020 - 3 comments

Movie: Empathy, Inc.

After the bottom falls out of a deal, Joel feels like he has lost everything. Then he meets a former classmate who offers him an investment opportunity in a new company: Empathy, Inc. The company has created tech that allows the user to virtually experience another person's life. [more inside]
posted by miss-lapin on Feb 25, 2020 - 0 comments

Mystery Science Theater 3000: THE ROBOT VS THE AZTEC MUMMY  Rewatch   Season 1, Ep 2

Rewatch! Evil Dr. Krupp, aka "The Bat" continues his plans to steal a treasure from the body of an Aztec mummy. This time he builds a robot to do it for him, which, why? Sell the robot, get more money than the treasure is worth! No matter. He's opposed by the virtuous Dr. Almada and the mummy, Popoca, itself. Also riffed is the first part of Commando Cody serial Radar Men From The Moon. Previously
posted by JHarris on Feb 20, 2020 - 2 comments

Movie: WHAT DID JACK DO?

David Lynch interrogates a monkey. [more inside]
posted by 1970s Antihero on Jan 21, 2020 - 7 comments

Movie: Satantango

Bela Tarr’s seven hour epic of 1990s rural Hungary. Residents of a collapsing collective farm scheme about what to do with a large cash payment. Plans change when they discover that Irimias, a former co-worker who they thought was dead, is coming back to the village. [more inside]
posted by mrcrow on Dec 2, 2019 - 2 comments

iZombie: Night and the Zombie City  Season 5, Ep 10

While investigating the murder of private eye Mick Chisel [All the synopses call him Mick, but he was called Frank on the show - ed], who was stabbed in the head with an ice pick, Liv consumes Chisel's brain in hopes of breaking down how this gruesome murder took place. Synopsis from IMDb. [more inside]
posted by under_petticoat_rule on Aug 2, 2019 - 2 comments

Movie: The Party

Janet hosts a party to celebrate her new promotion, but once the guests arrive it becomes clear that not everything is going to go down as smoothly as the red wine. [more inside]
posted by sapagan on Feb 17, 2019 - 3 comments

Mystery Science Theater 3000: THE HORROR OF PARTY BEACH  Rewatch   Season 8, Ep 17

Shocking terror! Hideous and ridiculous monsters crawl out of the sea! "It had ping-pong balls for eyes!" shrieked one overacting eyewitness! Another moaned unconvincingly, "Oh the carnage, the bad costumes, the poor cinematography!" Will no one put a stop to the atrocities committed by this director and his crew? In subplot news, Pearl and Brain Guy are in ancient Rome. Previously.
posted by JHarris on Jan 31, 2019 - 7 comments

Movie: Kafka

A 1991 movie by Steven Soderbergh: Kafka, an insurance worker gets embroiled in an underground group after a co-worker is murdered. The underground group is responsible for bombings all over town, attempting to thwart a secret organization that controls the major events in society. He eventually penetrates the secret organization and must confront them.
posted by jouke on Nov 25, 2018 - 5 comments

Mystery Science Theater 3000: SQUIRM  Season 10, Ep 12

"This was the night of the CRAWLING TERROR!" I have one more useful science factoid to teach you: if you run an electrical current through an earthworm, it'll become an aggressive monster and crave human flesh! But only while the current is running. This movie helpfully shows us the lethal consequences of downed power lines, which result in the depopulation of a small town. But it's a Georgia town, so, no worries. With the short A Case of Spring Fever: A film that warns us, for the sake of all mankind, to guard our tongues! Say no careless words in wishing for the absence of any petty thing that annoys you, for there may be an omnipotent spirit listening, and waiting, willing, even eager, to remove all those things from the universe just to spite you personally. To think of all the things our world has lost, all because some schmuck decided to say aloud he was annoyed with, say, immortality this week. One more film about unpleasant people in the South. Notable for containing the phrase, "You gonna be da worm face now!" The episode contains MST3K's last short, and it's one of the best. Episode 1012 is available on YouTube. Premiered August 1, 1999. One episode left. [more inside]
posted by JHarris on Apr 30, 2018 - 9 comments

Mystery Science Theater 3000: HORRORS OF SPIDER ISLAND  Season 10, Ep 11

AKA Ein Toter hing im Netz or "Body in the Web." "HAIR-RAISING! SPINE-CHILLING! One bite from a giant spider turned him into THE WORLD'S MOST HIDEOUS MONSTER with a diabolical lust to KILL!" Our movie starts out with guys hiring exotic dancers to send to Singapore, their natural habitat. The contents of the plane are so sexy that it crashes into the ocean. All passengers survive somehow and wash ashore on an uncharted desert isle. The girls celebrate by taking off all their clothes, except of course for their skin-colored bodysuits because we can't have anything risque. Then: SPIDERS! Maybe the writers were having an off week, or maybe news of the show's impending cancellation had affected them, but fans don't consider this episode a favorite. We shall enjoy it all the same. In host segments, Pearl moves her castle to the suburbs for a couple of hours. Episode 1011 is available on YouTube. Premiered July 25, 1999. Two episodes left. [more inside]
posted by JHarris on Apr 25, 2018 - 7 comments

Mystery Science Theater 3000: HAMLET  Season 10, Ep 9

Something's rotten in Denmark. Prince Hamlet finds out his dad the king is suddenly dead, and his uncle Claudius has just as suddenly married his mum and taken the throne. Sound suspecious? So thinks Hamlet's dad's ghost, who tells him it was murder and demands revenge. But Hamlet's indecisive, so he pretends to be cray-cray so he can gather clues without alerting Claudius. While so detecting, Hamlet kills a series of people with varying degrees of intent, and holds a skull a bit. He gets revenge, but dies too. I'm going to level with you. This episode is commonly regarded as one of the less accessible ones. It's another case where the movie drags everything down. This is a low budget, black-and-white, 1961 made-for-TV German production of Hamlet, with over half the content cut for time, dubbed into English. It's a bit entertaining that a couple of the dubbers are, it turns out, Ricardo "Khaaaan!" Montalban and John "Sgt. Schultz" Banner themselves, but it's still a dry episode. It's all downhill from here! Episode 1009 is available on YouTube. Premiered June 27, 1999. Four episodes left. [more inside]
posted by JHarris on Apr 11, 2018 - 4 comments

Mystery Science Theater 3000: THE SCREAMING SKULL  Season 9, Ep 12

"FREE! We Guarentee To Bury You Without Charge If You Die Of Fright During SCREAMING SKULL!" A man and his new wife move into a house. Wait, the house was owned by his previous, now dead, wife? Who died mysteriously? And the new wife has a lot of money? Can you see where this is going? With short Robot Rumpus: Clayboy Gumby and his pony pal Pokey make robots to do his yardwork, but they run amok amok amok amok. Most say the movie's extremely drab and hard to watch, but the short is excellent, both fun itself and terrific riffing fodder. The bots do not well handle the sight of the fate of their claymation brethren: "This is how it is in the real world! Horrid lumps of discharge destroy beautiful, innocent robots with impunity!" In Castle Forrester, Pearl and company try to play a bizarre joke on Mike and his contingent, resulting ultimately in the shrinking of Bobo. Hah. YouTube (1h32m) Premiered August 29, 1998. 14 episodes left. [more inside]
posted by JHarris on Jan 31, 2018 - 6 comments

Mystery Science Theater 3000: THE PHANTOM PLANET  Season 9, Ep 2

"Science Shocker of the Space Age!" "See!! A 6ft astronaut shrink to 6 inches before your very eyes! See!! The Moon Maidens! See!! The attack of the Fire People!" An astronaut is stranded on a planetoid that makes him small. There are other small people there, and he assimilates into their culture. Then they're destroyed and he's rescued. Film that for long enough and you have yourself a movie. You know, every year of my life I grow more and more convinced that the wisest and the best is to fix our attention on the good and the beautiful, if you just take the time to look at it. In Castle Forrester, Pearl gets her Mad Scientist kit. Promo YouTube (1h32m) Premiered March 21, 1998. 24 episodes left. [more inside]
posted by JHarris on Nov 8, 2017 - 11 comments

Mystery Science Theater 3000: INVASION OF THE NEPTUNE MEN  Season 8, Ep 19

Non-threating, clunky robots from space invade Japan, and the country's only defense is a bunch of children and Space Chief. The robots turn into women, but their threat level does not increase measurably. Satellite News identifies this as another of the worst movies MST ever did, where a lot of the humor comes from the suffering of the riffers. There are a lot of little moments to watch for, like Tom Servo's "Song About Stock Footage," him saying "Just when I think I've seen the worst movie ever made, along comes the WORST movie EVER MADE!", Mike and Crow just wandering out of the theater at one point, and a number of excellent host segments including Noh Theater, Roji Panty Complex, the return of Krankor, and Crow's Letter To Japan. Oh, and the sudden and unexplained presence of the Hitler Building. Despite all of that, I'd say this one of tough going. In the subplot, an amnesiac Bobo is revealed to be the "Mad Goth," who gets his memory back just in time to get him, Pearl and Brain Guy captured at the end of the episode. YouTube Premiered October 11, 1997. [more inside]
posted by JHarris on Oct 4, 2017 - 9 comments

Mystery Science Theater 3000: DEVIL DOLL  Season 8, Ep 18

"What is the strange terrifying evil secret of the dummy... and why is it locked in a case every night?" Some people create their own hell for themselves. Such a person is Dr. Vorelli, a man who hates puppets but has a successful ventriloquist act. His marionette Hugo has a dark secret, but it involves ham. And what is it about sinister hypnotist types who put the whammy on women that dooms them to stage performance? There appears to be a lot less money in Svengali-ing than you'd think. It turns out Rasputin's real trick was networking. This is an episode that tends to grow on people. During one's first viewing it's easy to get overwhelmed by the Vorelli's hatefulness and the overall aura of bad, but there are some great lines by Mike and co. And Pitch, a character from the Comedy Central era (a reference to Santa Claus), features in host segments! In the subplot, "Apearlo" and "Brainguyus" are still in Ancient Rome looking for Bobo. Promo - YouTube Premiered October 4, 1997. [more inside]
posted by JHarris on Sep 28, 2017 - 5 comments

Mystery Science Theater 3000: THE HORROR OF PARTY BEACH  Season 8, Ep 17

"WEIRD Atomic Beasts Who Live Off Human BLOOD!!!" "The First Horror Monster Musical!" Suspeciously old teens gyrate while radioactive waste dumped off-shore creates mutant monsters, in what appear to be laughable costumes, that lumber ashore to eat straggers from their barely-clothed herd, until their special weakness is found: SODIUM. Another of those laughable 60s monster movies, with particularly ineffective monsters. In the subplot, the guys arrive in ancient Rome to spend a few episodes bumping around. YouTube (1h32m) Premiered September 6, 1997. [more inside]
posted by JHarris on Sep 20, 2017 - 6 comments

Mystery Science Theater 3000: PRINCE OF SPACE  Season 8, Ep 16

A guy working as a bootblack on the streets of Tokyo, who keeps a horde of kids with him also plying his trade, is secretly the interstellar hero Prince of Space! Defender of Earth from the dastardly chicken people of Krankor! Those who would invade us to obtain the athletic cup technology of which their own race is so woefully deficient! One of the most classic episodes of Season Eight, in terms all of riffing, of host segments, and of sublime movie weirdness. I like it very much! As for the show's "plot," all the guys go into a wormhole and strange things begin to happen.... Promo - YouTube (ih32m) Premiered August 16, 1997. [more inside]
posted by JHarris on Sep 13, 2017 - 9 comments

Mystery Science Theater 3000: PARTS: THE CLONUS HORROR  Season 8, Ep 11

"The only thing they don't use... is the scream" We know a remote farm in California, where Dick Sargent lives. Every July, dweebs grow there. One day a particularly upity dweeb decides to go see this "America" he's been told is so great and discovers he's a clone raised by a secretive organization to provide transplant organs for powerful people, in his case an important senator. Really. It's a stupid fate for a stupid guy in the stupid world of a stupid movie. The movie has the advantage of a higher budget than the average MST film, but that's more than offset by the great ridiculousnesses of the plot. We're expected to see the campus of the Clonus Project as a terrifying dystopia akin to The Village, but most of the time it ends up looking more like a resort for chowderheads. BTW, it has both Peter Graves and Keenan Wynn in it! In subplot news, Pearl and company find a group of runaway omnipotent space children and have to play babysitter. Bobo takes quite a bit of abuse. Trailer - Promo - YouTube (1h32m) Premiered June 7, 1997. [more inside]
posted by JHarris on Aug 10, 2017 - 9 comments

Mystery Science Theater 3000: I WAS A TEENAGE WEREWOLF  Season 8, Ep 9

"The Most Amazing Picture of Our Time!" A hypnotist gives Michael Landon a substance that turns him into a werewolf. Who gave this guy funding? What, another hypnotist? One of those was the villain last movie! Pearl and company are now on what the show's staff called "camping world." Meanwhile on the SOL, the show gets invaded by an alien. Y'know, again. At least the stingers are back! YouTube (1h32m) - Promo (17s) Premiered April 19, 1997. [more inside]
posted by JHarris on Jul 27, 2017 - 7 comments

Mystery Science Theater 3000: THE SHE-CREATURE  Season 8, Ep 8

"HYPNOTIZED! Reincarnated as a Monster from Hell!" "IT CAN AND DID HAPPEN! Based on authentic FACTS you've been reading about!" Facts eh? In this movie, an evil hypnotist tells a lady to SLEEP!, causing her to summon an ancient lobster woman from the sea, who goes on a rampage. Because all prospective licensed hypnotists learn about calling crustacean people on the first day of class. This is exactly why you shouldn't get your news of current events from movie posters. It's the last episode on Observer world and the last we see of the other Observers (well they do turn up again once later). YouTube (1h31m) Premiered April 5, 1997. [more inside]
posted by JHarris on Jul 20, 2017 - 5 comments

Mystery Science Theater 3000: TERROR FROM THE YEAR 5000  Season 8, Ep 7

"From time unborn... a hideous she-thing!" Guy invents a machine that can send things to and from the future. One of the things that comes is a winsome young future girl who seeks a mate to save future humanity. Sounds good, right? Ha ha no it's a horrible radioactive hellscape and she wears a leotard with sparkly bits on it and kills people and must be stopped. At the end they wonder if they should have helped the future folk after all, and conclude they can do that by avoiding the nuclear apocalypse that created the bad future. Yeah, I'm sure that will happen. It's the last full episode on Observer World, and it's the last Observer-takeover stinger. Mike and the bots get up to some time travel adventures themselves. YouTube (1h32m) - Promo Premiered March 15, 1997. [more inside]
posted by JHarris on Jul 12, 2017 - 3 comments

Mystery Science Theater 3000: THE UNDEAD  Season 8, Ep 6

"Terror... That Screams from the Grave!" A confusing movie, actually introduced by Satan himself, about a hooker regressed into a past life where she was executed for witchcraft. Contains 5000% more Digger Smolken than the doctor recommended dose. Ah, finally the movie selection moves out from beneath Universal's oppressive thumb, meaning this episode is on YouTube (1h32m)! It's also directed--not Executive Produced--by Roger Corman, so prepare yourself for direct exposure to the Cor-Man. That bit in the beginning where Pearl stuffs her test paper in an Observer's brain dish? That's our Observer right there, and it's essentially the beginning of their storied (in fanfic at least) and yet strangely non-specific relationship. Premiered March 8, 1997. [more inside]
posted by JHarris on Jul 6, 2017 - 7 comments

Mystery Science Theater 3000: THE THING THAT COULDN'T DIE  Season 8, Ep 5

"The Grave Can't Hold It... Nothing Human Can Stop it!" A psychic lady stumbles upon a Box of Evil on the ranch, evidently the cousin of Señor Wences' friend Pedro. It bends the very wills of the people there until it is reunited with its body... and then is instantly defeated, because apparently its demonic powers end at that moment. S'not alright! We just got done with The Beast of Hollow Mountain and now we've got another Weird Western! In subplot news, this is the episode that introduces the Observers, and one particular Observer as a regular character, played by Bill Corbitt. Episode 805 is unavailable on YouTube. Premiered March 3, 1997. [more inside]
posted by JHarris on Jun 28, 2017 - 6 comments

Mystery Science Theater 3000: THE DEADLY MANTIS  Season 8, Ep 4

"The Most Dangerous Monster That Ever Lived!" "Out Of a Million Years Ago... A Thousand Tons of Terror!" A big bug eats people and destroys things, until someone crashes a jet into it. Weak sauce! I'm just saying, the Giant Claw wouldn't have been undone by a simple jet crash. The episode's got a pretty good reputation! In this week's subplot watch, some bomb-worshipping mutants show up in Deep Ape. This results in the end of one theme (Deep Ape itself) and the beginning of another one (Mike seemingly being unable to keep himself from blowing up planets). Oh also, Pearl finally begins the chase of the S.O.L. promised in the theme song. Episode 804 doesn't appear to be on YouTube. Premiered February 22, 1997. [more inside]
posted by JHarris on Jun 21, 2017 - 3 comments

Mystery Science Theater 3000: THE MOLE PEOPLE  Season 8, Ep 3

"TERRIFYING Monsters From A Lost Age!" Archeologists discover an ancient subterrainian civilization beneath a volcano and, using the awesome power of their mighty FLASHLIGHT, free the titular mole people from their oppression. A weird movie. In the original screenplay the underground girl Adal was supposed to go off with Our Hero, but because that might be seen as an interracial relationship they had her get squashed under a pillar! There's a lot of MST veterans in this movie, particularly John Agar and Hugh Beaumont. This is the episode with The Load, a remarkably burdensome member of the heroic party who exists only to slow them, and the movie, down. YouTube (Official, with annotations! 1h32m) Premiered February 15, 1997. [more inside]
posted by JHarris on Jun 15, 2017 - 4 comments

Mystery Science Theater 3000: THE LEECH WOMAN  Season 8, Ep 2

"Forever Young! Forever Deadly!" "She Lived Off The Life Blood of Male Victims!" Africa! Source of endless 50s movie MacGuffins! All manner of bizarre plot-driving effect can be found there! Here the bizarre secret waiting to be found is that of eternal youth, at only the cost of having to kill people regularly to maintain it. It's all due to the wonders of the human pineal gland, itself the source of many plot-driving mysteries. BTW, the movie's view of the human race is unremittingly horrible. Mike and co. are still hovering above Deep Ape, which has become rather freer in its dress code. BTW: Jeeeeeeeeeed! YouTube (1h32m) Premiered February 8, 1997. [more inside]
posted by JHarris on Jun 7, 2017 - 3 comments

Mystery Science Theater 3000: REVENGE OF THE CREATURE  Season 8, Ep 1

(Originally in 3D) "MONSTER ESCAPES! City flees in TERROR!" "All new Thrills! Shock! Suspense!" Hoo boy. So once upon a time, living in a black lagoon, there was a Creature. Having survived the injuries and affonts to dignity from the ending to a previous movie, the "Gill Man" is captured by marine scientists and sent to an amusement park, I guess to replace Shamu. An incredibly dangerous beast that's killed people before kept by scientists in an amusement park. What do you THINK is gonna happen? John Hammond reads about the incident in the paper and has a wonderful idea. And so begins the last sixth era of the show, as it kicks off its three season run on SyFy The Sci-Fi Channel. The guys are 500 years in the future and APES RULE THE WORLD! Their new movie-sending tormentors are Professor Bobo and his assistant Dr. Peanut... and a mysterious, familiar figure. Wait, you already know it's Pearl Forrester. Stylistically there's a lot of differences, but less than a year passed between episodes 706 and 801. See notes for more. YouTube (1h32m) Sci-Fi Channel Promo. Premiered February 1, 1997. [more inside]
posted by JHarris on Jun 1, 2017 - 10 comments

Mystery Science Theater 3000: THE BRUTE MAN  Season 7, Ep 2

"Towering NEW Terror! No woman safe from his crushing arms..." A guy with acromegaly is kiling people, but when he takes refuge from the police in a blind girl's house he finds himself moved to help her. He goes and steals to pay for an operation that could cure her, but also kills people because I guess old habits die hard. The police punch his ticket, but for some reason she gets the operation anyway. With short The Chicken of Tomorrow: The hazy future promises advances in the raising of chickens. Science marches on! Poor Rondo Hatton died shortly after this movie was made, from the very acromegaly that established him as "The Creeper." Although the short is great, this is one of the worse episodes of Season Seven unfortunately. Host segments are interesting though, with Pearl's date having to face off with a surprisingly protective Dr. Forrester. YouTube (1h31m) Premiered February 10, 1996. [more inside]
posted by JHarris on Apr 26, 2017 - 7 comments

Mystery Science Theater 3000: NIGHT OF THE BLOOD BEAST  Season 7, Ep 1

"No girl was safe as long as this HEAD HUNTING THING roamed the land!" An astronaut dies on reentry. Aliens are emerging from his skin, including one really big one that roams the countryside, stopping watches. Everyone wants to kill it except the astronaut, who is now not dead and full of shrimp. With short Once Upon a Honeymoon: More celestial interfering with mortal affairs, this time with an angel helping a composer write a jingle so he and his wife can go on their honeymoon. Roger Corman again, this is his next-to-last featured movie. Daddy-O informs us that the exactly same costume and location were used in 315 TEENAGE CAVEMAN. This is a weird episode because there are two sets of host segments. The first showing was on Turkey Day 1995 and an alternate storyline was written involving Thanksgiving dinner with many of the show's Comedy Central movie cameo characters, making this a nice retrospective on the CC years. Because this is the first episode of the infamous Season Seven, only six episodes long and the end of the show's run on that channel. 701 701T (1h32m) Turkey Day '95 extra bits & alternate host segments Premiered: 701T on Thanksgiving Day, November 23, 1995; 701 on February 3, 1996. [more inside]
posted by JHarris on Apr 19, 2017 - 8 comments

Mystery Science Theater 3000: THE AMAZING TRANSPARENT MAN  Season 6, Ep 23

"A NATION AT HIS MERCY!" "INVISIBLE and DEADLY" Ahem! An escaped convict teams up with a mad scientist and gets turned invisibabble, but then have a disagreement as to how he should use his invisibabibility. With short The Days of Our Years: A minister tells us about his parishiners, who have to a man all been maimed, blinded or killed by machines, because God is just and holy. The poster for this movie, besides comparing the antagonist to a fart, also warned that the invisible man himself had vowed to make a personal appearance in every theater showing the film. Sigh. There is a particularly hilarious pre-movie host segment here, where Dr. F and Frank, as "Auntie McFrank," ask Mike and the bots to provide "local color" for their bed and breakfast. "Y'all got any matches for Mikey?" Jonah Ray is going to have a hard time living up this. We've also got a great short, the second of the two railroad-sponsored industrials, this one devoted to telling us about all the ways terrible, terrible machinery wages war against its creators. By the way, this is "TV's" Frank Conniff's penultimate show as Dr. F's assistant. YouTube (1h35m) Premiered March 18, 1995. [more inside]
posted by JHarris on Mar 29, 2017 - 12 comments

Mystery Science Theater 3000: RED ZONE CUBA  Season 6, Ep 19

aka "Night Train to Mundo Fine" Oh god, we're HERE. John Carradine tells us (and sings!) about Griffin, who "ran all the way to hell." Griffin is who we follow, with two accomplices, as they engage of a series of pointless adventures, including participating in the Bay of Pigs (which is only the middle of the movie) and trying to muscle into a lucrative tungsten mine. With short Speech: Platform Posture and Appearance: Think tall! Talk tall! Stand tall! Walk tall! This film, another of the absolute worst MST ever did, offers an almost physical level of pain. It should be watched by diehards only, who will love this episode. But don't introduce newbies to the show with this one, or you might scar them. Good luck everyone. Against my better judgement, here is the episode on YouTube. (1h31m) Premiered December 17, 1994. [more inside]
posted by JHarris on Mar 1, 2017 - 13 comments

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